Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Toilet troubles...

Here's another inappropriate, TMI post.  This morning, as I was cleaning the upstairs bathroom, and specifically under the toilet seat, I noticed one of the four plastic "bumpers" was completely busted.  It was like someone had taken a hammer and just smashed the hell out of it.  I noticed it cracked a few weeks ago and this morning, it just completely disintegrated.  The other three bumpers are, curiously, fine.

Until this morning, I didn't know what the little knobs under the toilet seat were called.  I took the broken part of the bumper off the seat because there was no hope of fixing it.  It was obliterated.

Regular readers might know that I hate the upstairs toilet in our current house.  It's an old fashioned "water saver" model that's supposed to save money by using less water.  However, in order to prevent clogs, one must hold down the lever until the tank is completely empty, defeating the purpose of the "water saver" function.  I don't know how old the toilet is, but it's definitely been around for awhile.  Before we learned not to use Charmin in this particular toilet, it clogged three times, resulting in flooding in the basement as the water backed up into my washing machine.  I had to endure a toilet flushing lesson from the landlord, which I found pretty annoying.  Angel Soft toilet paper works much better with this toilet, so we're no longer a Charmin household.  We also haven't had any more clogs.

As you can see, this toilet has seen a lot of ass...  Even if I used bleach, I don't think I could make under the lid sparkle.  The inside edges are peeling from years of use...  The hinges are somewhat corroded and have blue and green staining on them.  Apparently, that's caused by copper.

The water saver toilet is the bane of my existence.  Note the black lever on the side of the plastic toilet tank.  I have to hold that lever down until the tank is empty.  Otherwise, used toilet paper stays in the bottom of the toilet.  Sometimes it does that even if I empty the tank.  Then, I have to flush again.  So much for water conservation.

Before we lived in this house, I had never seen one of these old style water saver toilets, but I now know the Greek restaurant at the local sports complex also has them in their ladies room.  I'm pretty certain our new house in Wiesbaden has much newer toilets.  I sure hope it does.

The downstairs toilet in our current house is a lot better than this one, but I'm usually sitting upstairs, so the upstairs toilet gets more use.  Interestingly enough, this water saver toilet is not one of the infamous "shelf" toilets one sometimes encounters in Germany.  The bottom of our upstairs toilet was covered with lime and mildew when we first moved in, but I managed to get most of that peeled off so that the bottom is whiter now.  I can still see the brown gunk in the hole at the bottom of the bowl and, despite trying with several tools, have not been able to get that part as white.

Anyway, until this morning, I didn't know that the plastic knobs under the toilet seat are called "bumpers".  I even watched a tutorial on how to fix toilet bumpers with a product called Sugru.  Sugru is moldable plastic glue, a product I never knew existed until I watched this video.

This is actually a pretty cool hack.  Alas, I don't think it would work so well with our antiquated toilet seat.  The seat in this video appears to be newer fangled.

Although I don't know if Sugru can help us in this instance, I do think it's a pretty useful looking product.  I notice it's available in Germany, too.  I might have to hit the hardware store later and see if I can get some just to have around for minor fixes.  As for the broken bumper, I think I might be able to find a new one.  It won't look like the other three, but it will get the job done.  Personally, I think the next home improvement project our landlords undertake should be replacing that toilet with one that is more 21st century.  This is one throne I'm not going to miss at all.

In about an hour, I will rouse Zane from the bed and take him to get his teeth cleaned.  I'll be happy to have that chore done for now.  Then, in a couple of weeks, Bill and I will get our own teeth cleaned.  Hygiene is a virtue.

ETA:  It's been a yucky day.  The vet found a tumor in Zane's mouth.  She thinks it's benign, though.

ETA 2:  Bill just installed a new toilet seat!

Tada!  When he removed the old one, the screws were so corroded that one of them snapped clean off.


  1. That seat has seen better days. I would put it out of your misery and get a new one. But that's just me.

    1. Well, we’re moving in three weeks. Also, it appears to be an old fashioned model and I’m not sure if that type is available. If this were my house, I would get a new toilet.

    2. ETA: Bill is going to try to find a new seat that will work with that toilet.


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