Thursday, October 11, 2018

Melania Trump calls for "hard" evidence when it comes to sexual assault...

Just as I was about turn out the light last night, I read an article about Melania Trump's views on sexual assault.  In a sit-down interview with ABC News, Mrs. Trump said:

"If you accuse (someone) of something, show the evidence,"

She said "we really need to have "hard evidence". Heh heh heh... she said "hard".  

What the fuck do you call THIS, Melania?  Sounds like "hard" evidence to me.

I can't help but shake my head in disbelief, not because I necessarily disagree that there should be evidence if someone is accused of sexual assault, but because she's married to the biggest pervert of all.  I mean, Donald Trump was caught on tape making disgusting comments about what he does to women.  It's part of a court record during his first divorce that he raped his first ex wife.  Later, Ivana Trump said that she didn't want to refer to what Trump did to her as rape, but the description of what happened sure the hell sounded like a forced sexual assault to me.  

Sounds like rape to me...  *shrug*

Listen... I totally understand that some men have been falsely accused of sexual assault and rape.  As a matter of fact, I've written about at least two cases that I can think of off the top of my head.  I am also married to a very decent man whose ex wife lied about being abused by him.  I do know that sometimes people lie and assholes come in all shapes, sizes, sexes, and genders.  But Melania Trump talking about sexual assault and insisting on "hard evidence", when she's married to one of the worst offenders, is the height of hypocrisy.  Honestly, I feel like I've fallen into the Twilight Zone with the Trumps.  I know a lot of politicians are sleazy, but this couple really takes the cake.

I know there's recently been a rash of powerful men being taken down over sexual misconduct allegations.  Just off the top of my head, I can think of a few: Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Larry Nassar, Matt Lauer, and the list goes on...  I can see that a lot of men are scared that they might end up in trouble over what some woman says about their behavior.  It really can happen, even to the best of men.  My husband's ex wife tried to convince his own mother that he's a pervert who hates women.  After almost sixteen years of marriage, I know that's not true.  In fact, I'd say based on actual physical evidence, in her case, the opposite is true-- she assaulted and abused him.

But I also know that as a woman who has experienced sexual assault (although thankfully not rape), it's not such an easy thing to come forward.  And sometimes the assault can't be proven, even if it did happen.  Case in point, when I visited Istanbul in 1996, I was sexually harassed twice in the space of two hours by two different men.  The first man was at the bus station, where my friend and I were waiting to catch a bus to Sofia, Bulgaria.  This man I encountered very brazenly reached out and squeezed one of my breasts.  I proceeded to punch him.

Not two hours later, I was changing clothes in a bathroom that I couldn't lock and another man, who had seen me go in there, barged in and told me I was "sexy" and asked "wouldn't I like to go with him?"  I screamed at him and he, rather comically, took off in fear.  As we waited in the salon, I fumed and he kept gesturing at me to keep quiet, even though I wanted to strangle him.  That was just two incidents on that one trip with my friend.  Others occurred, but for the sake of brevity, I'm not going to write about them in this post.  We were both harassed a lot, though not in a way that would produce  the "hard evidence" Mrs. Trump thinks all victims should provide before they say anything about it.

That's just one period in my lifetime.  There were certainly others, though they happened years ago.  These days, I don't get harassed much.  It might be because I'm old and fat and no longer attractive to most men, or it might be because I have Bill with me most of the time.  But yeah, I can think of a number of times I've been touched by men who had no permission to touch me.  I can think of plenty of situations in which some guy took the liberty of making an indecent proposal to me.  More often than not, they were very offended when I turned them down.  Those situations were upsetting to me and they DID happen, but they didn't always leave any "hard evidence".    

I remember being at a party once with my cousin, who was a lot more willing to engage sexually than I was, and she was in a car with some guy, steaming up the windows.  I was left in the house, talking to the guy's very drunk father, who expected me to accompany him to his house where we would wait for them alone.  This guy, who had gone to high school with one of my UNCLES, called me a BITCH when I said "no."  What would have happened to me if I had gone with him?  For one thing, he was drunk as hell, so we might have died in a car crash.  For another thing, he was so drunk he probably would have either passed out or would have been unable to perform (not that I was sexually active at the time, anyway).  But he felt just fine about calling me a bitch because I wasn't interested in fucking him while I waited for my cousin to finish fucking this guy's son.  And yet... he didn't lay a hand on me, so there was no "hard evidence".  That doesn't mean it wasn't traumatic for me to experience that.

I remember being in my late 20s, working at a country club in South Carolina, covered head to toe with black pants and a long sleeved white shirt.  I was picking up linens in the linen closet and one of the club members followed me into the closet and tried to corner me for a little groping and kissing.  I was absolutely terrified and horrified, although thankfully I got away from him.  He didn't leave any evidence of what he did, but he did do it... and not just to me, but to other women working there, including girls still in high school and my boss, who was in her sixties.  

I have seen so many comments from people who declare that parents simply need to teach their sons to be "gentlemen".  I'm sure plenty of parents, moms in particular, have tried to do that.  Some of them are failing at that job, though, and some mothers are clearly blinded by their love for their offspring.  I have run into plenty of men who presented themselves as "gentlemen" and then turned out to be total pigs when it came to what they thought was their right to access my body.  And my body isn't even particularly "hot" and never has been...  I shudder to think what life must be like for Lynzy Lab, the woman in this viral video that appeared a couple of days ago...

She's really young, cute, smart, and musically talented.  Her song makes a lot of sense.  And yet, I wonder how many men watched this and thought about what they'd like to do to her...

This shit happens ALL the time to women.  It's not a bad thing that women are getting sick of being treated that way and are speaking up about it.  Will there always be "hard evidence"?  No, but that doesn't negate the victim's right to say something and be believed.  Now... when it comes to criminal prosecution; then yes, I do think that there should be solid evidence provided before a man goes to prison.  As awful as rape is, I do agree that it must be reported at the time it happens if the perpetrator is to be punished in a criminal court of law.  But I also understand that reporting rape is very difficult.  It is for women, and it is for men, too.  And ladies, I have news for you... it's not just men who sexually assault men.  This I know for an unfortunate fact.

As for Brett Kavanaugh-- the newest Supreme Court Justice-- I do think that that he probably did assault Christine Blasey Ford.  It happened when they were teenagers.  For all I know, he might have evolved since then... I would hope he has.  I wouldn't have wanted to see him go to prison today for what happened back then, since there truly can't be any real proof today that it happened.  However, there is a lot of credible evidence that Kavanaugh isn't really suited to be a judge, let alone a Supreme Court justice, just as scumbags like Donald Trump should not be president.  And, lest anyone bring up Bill Clinton, I will agree that he's also a scumbag and probably wasn't worthy of being president, either, even if-- in my opinion-- he did do a much better job than Trump is doing.  Unfortunately, it seems like in order to rise to any power in the United States, one must also have a very strong sex drive and the need for sexual conquests.

My point is, it's time these types of people stopped being rewarded for their criminal behavior by coming into positions of power.  I'm not saying I want to see an evolution of even more political correctness running amok.  I do agree that evidence and proof are necessary things, particularly when it comes to convicting someone and sending them to prison.  But it's not right for Mrs. Trump, who is married to a man who has been repeatedly proven to be a molesting creep, to be preaching to us about  the need for "hard evidence".  She needs to put her money where her mouth is and stop being such a hypocrite... but I suspect that if she did that, she might end up with less money.  And that's probably what concerns her more than seeing that women are treated with more dignity and respect.


  1. Great post. A lot of guys have no idea what women go through.

    1. I'm just sick of sex offenders, male or female, being rewarded. And I'm sick of hypocrites, too.


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