Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Let me "do me"...

Apologies in advance.  First off, I hate the expression "You 'do you'" because oftentimes, when people suggest it, they're being facetious.  So I apologize for using that expression as this afternoon's blog post title.

I'm going to Hell. (Special thanks to the person who made this comic.  Let me know if you want me to remove it or credit it.)

Secondly, I apologize in advance to "Wondering Why", because I am about to direct a rant toward her (or him).  I know some people don't like it when I do this, but I think if you leave a negative comment on my personal blog that inspires me, you're fair game for a rant.  Especially when I see no evidence that you're a regular reader.  Don't want me to write a post about you?  Think before you comment.

And thirdly, I apologize to all who have been enduring my miserable writing for so long, just waiting for me to be "positive"...  I imagine it must be hard to voluntarily read someone else's extremely TMI writing about their personal experiences. I have to wonder what led some of these sad people to my blog in the first place.

This afternoon, I received this comment from "Wondering Why"...

Oh dear...  

I have ranted about this topic a few times in the past, but I feel the need to address it again for those who have come in after the opening credits.  This is a personal blog.  Most mornings, I don't know what I'm going to blog about when I sit down to write.  Regular readers know that my posts run the gamut.  Sometimes I write about daily life.  Sometimes I write book reviews.  Sometimes I write about current events, politics, and religion.  I've been known to write stories and song parodies and have even included some of my own music, which most people don't bother to check out.  And yes, sometimes I rant about my husband's ex wife and his kids.  It's actually a lot less often now than it used to be, so I think I've made some significant progress over the years.

I realize that some people who read this blog don't know my backstory and many people don't care about it.  That's fine.  In most cases, we're total strangers anyway.  If you don't like my writing, you are free to go somewhere else.  I won't be offended.  I mostly write on this blog to process my feelings.  Some of what I write is very personal and some people think it's "TMI".  That's fine, too.  Everyone is entitled to opinions, although I think expecting me to know what is your personal standard of "TMI" is a bit much to ask. 

Here's what's not going to happen, though.  I am not going to change my writing for random anonymous people who leave me negative comments.  This blog is really more for me than anyone else.  It's public because I know there are people out there who can relate to what Bill and I have been through.  They need to know they aren't alone, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Personally, I don't think today's earlier post was really that harsh, although I know people have different perspectives.  But I can't possibly know what is going to appeal to every reader and, again, this blog is more for me than it is for you.  If you're offended or upset by what I write, you're certainly entitled to those feelings.  But they're your problem, not mine.

Tell me.  If I did suddenly change my style and started writing nothing but positive, edifying, uplifting posts that contained no dirty laundry or TMI, would you read and appreciate them?  Would you bother to let me know that you appreciated them?  My guess is that you wouldn't.  In fact, I have a feeling that most people would find an extremely positive version of me inauthentic and boring, and still more people would find reasons to criticize what I do.  Besides, that simply wouldn't be me, and it's not worth my time or effort to change simply because someone leaves me a negative comment.  I realize that a lot of people don't like me, and that's alright.  But I have to be who I am, "snotty, petty, bitchy, bitter, and negative" as I may seem. 

Despite how things might appear to the casual reader, what Bill and I have been through has been very hard.  I realize it's not been as painful as it could have been.  There are plenty of people who have had it much worse than I have, and I would never dispute that.  But trust me, dealing with a malignant narcissist is extremely difficult.  I want to write about my experiences on my space.  Can you deal with that?  Does it affect you personally that I write about it?  If my posts affect you personally and you can explain how they affect you, I'm willing to hear what you have to say and might even edit.  If not, feel free to fuck off.      

I don't write this blog to be popular or get hits.  I'm not getting paid to write this stuff, so I don't consider my readers "customers" or anything.  Writing this blog is actually a form of therapy for me, and it doesn't even get that much traffic.  

I have two other blogs that are generally positive most of the time.  If you truly want to see a generally more positive, less TMI version of my writing, you're welcome to check out my music blog or my travel blog.  You can easily find them on my profile.  But no one is forcing you to read this blog, and frankly, it matters not a whit to me that you think I'm "snotty, petty, and bitter."  I don't even know you, and won't know the difference if you think I'm a bitch.  The fact is, I know the truth about who I am and so do the people who love and care about me... and there are still a few out there who think I'm alright.  So, thanks for the "constructive" criticism, but really... no thanks.

Jeez... it's at times like these, I really appreciate my dogs.   


  1. Love it! I also was confused by the comment. Why criticize a personal blog when you can simply stop reading it?

  2. Haha! I'm just getting to read your post in response. Love it!

    1. Yeah... I tend to turn negative feedback into more blog posts. ;-) I’m petty and snotty that way.

  3. Seriously, people need to grow up and not read something if they don't like it. That's all there is to it.

    1. In fairness to "Wondering Why", I'm sure that after reading a few posts, he or she got the impression that I'm just a bitter second wife. Maybe s/he assumes I'm a nasty person simply based on reading a few posts and my response to her suggestion that I "let it go". S/he probably felt entirely justified.

      However, I think if I were a man writing about my wife's ex husband and he had done the things Bill's former wife has done-- lying, extorting, child abusing and neglecting, parentally alienating, manipulating, and sexually assaulting, among other things-- no one would blame me for my rants. I didn't actually know about the sexual abuse until somewhat recently, and that opened a whole new can of worms. I don't expect people to understand it, but I still can't believe perfect strangers have the gall to offer that kind of criticism on something like a personal blog. As tacky as I can be sometimes, I would never consider doing that to someone else.

  4. Dear Wondering Why, I mean this in the nicest way possible: bite me.


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