Wednesday, October 10, 2018

An erotic story involving Pernell Roberts, Howard Keel, and Mr. Yuk...

I'm sure I could find any number of outrageous news stories to rant about today.  I will probably do just that in a little while.  It's just that I've noticed my blog is not as much fun as it has been in the past.  I've been dealing with a little depression and anxiety lately, which has had a noticeable effect on my writing.

Yesterday, I had a random idea of writing a fiction story about the late actor, Pernell Roberts.  I know him best from his years as Trapper John, M.D., but other people remember him from Bonanza.  I remember he also starred in a Lassie movie back in 1978.  In that film, he played a bad guy.


Sexy Pernell Roberts... there was a time when my dad could sing sort of like this.  I can appreciate it now, but didn't so much when I was growing up.  Pernell Roberts had a lovely singing voice, though.  Many people thought my dad had a lovely voice, too.  He probably did and I just didn't like it because of our fucked up father/daughter relationship.  Oh... and the fact that he wasn't trained.

I think Mr. Roberts is on my mind because I somehow wound up subscribed to a YouTube channel honoring him.  Someone uploaded a bunch of episodes of Trapper John, M.D. and I started watching them last night because Bill is in Italy.  He'll be back tonight-- it was just a one night trip-- but I'll still be alone until after bedtime.  Maybe I'll watch more Trapper John, M.D., or maybe I'll make music.  Who knows?  Or maybe I'll spend the day writing silly stories for those who enjoy my warped sense of humor.

Anyway, I noticed that a number of female commenters on the YouTube videos were saying they thought Pernell Roberts was "sexy".  I have to admit, now that I am myself middle aged, I agree that he was rather sexy in those days.  Of course, Trapper John was a typically strong male character on the TV show.  He was authoritarian, particularly with his female patients.  Some women are turned on by a strong man who tells them to get in bed and stay there.  Actor Gregory Harrison, who played hospital Lothario Gonzo Gates, was probably there for the younger crowd.  Both of them were such caring dudes... and so skilled as they saved their patients from whatever devastating malady they had while romancing them under the sheets.

Then, as I started thinking about Pernell Roberts, I remembered the late actor Howard Keel and how he always reminded me of a horse peeing on a rock.  I mean, he was really tall and probably made a lot of noise because of the length his whiz had to drop.  I remember seeing him in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, which was filmed in the 1950s, when he was young and studly.  But as a child of the 70s and 80s, I remember him best when he was on Dallas, playing Clayton Farlow.  Maybe it was because all of the horses they used on that show and the fact that I've spent a lot of time around horses and know what they sound like when they pee... especially the geldings.


Damn... I would love to have a horse that did this!  Cleaning up horse pee is no fun, especially when it's hot outside.

The guy who officiated at my wedding, then a Presbyterian minister and now a Certified Nurse's Aide and Catholic, asked me if my erotic story involving Pernell Roberts would involve surgical instruments or horses.  And that just made me think of Howard Keel peeing on a rock again.


Oh my God... speaking of piss.  This is probably one of the most cornball pop songs of the 1980s.  What in the hell possessed Howard Keel to sing this over any one of the classic standards he did in his prime?  

So then, just as I was gathering ideas about other things I could put in my erotic story, I caught this clip from 1988, starring the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.  Front and center is current Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Director, Kelli Finglass, back when she was in her prime and still on the squad...


I was about 16 when they did this.  Look at that hair!  And those shorts look almost like granny panties compared to what they wear today.  My hair was never quite that big.  For the record, I prefer Kelli's hair the lovely shade of red it is now.  Frosted, frizzy blonde doesn't flatter her.

Finally, someone shared this picture of Brett Kavanaugh, who will always be a glorified frat boy to me...  


And I was reminded of this...  I wonder if Kavanaugh has ever made this face before having sex with someone.  I wonder if anyone has ever made this face before having sex with him...


Wow... they could be brothers.

Maybe I should write a story involving all of these people.  It wouldn't even have to be erotic.  I could probably have some fun with it, kill some time, and stay out of trouble.  I do have a very strange mind sometimes, especially when I'm bored.

My latest book is about the East German police, so it's probably just as well if I write some fiction or something, before I start having nightmares about the Stasi.  Shit... I might as well do it.  

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