Thursday, July 19, 2018

Rage quit...

It may not seem like it when you read my latest blog posts, but I'm actually feeling relatively peaceful these days.  I think it's because I removed myself from a lot of the local Facebook groups.  For the first three years of my second tour here in Germany, I was entirely too involved with Facebook and a number of locally run closed groups.  Now, I'm only in a few groups, most of which I rarely post to.  I run a local group, but it's about food, wine, and liquor and I don't even post to that one every day.

This morning, I ran across a "public ridicule" post written by a guy who has a common Facebook friend with me.  Apparently, he and our common Facebook friend run a group for exMormons.  Someone in the group got upset and "rage quit".  So now, they're making fun of her in the closed group and she is demanding an apology.

The rule about rage quitting...

I'm not a member of this group and don't know any of the people involved, including the common Facebook friend, "Mike Norton".  I'm friends with Mike because he posts videos of the LDS church's secret ceremonies and has done a lot to inform the clueless about what goes on in the Mormon church.  While I have no quarrel with people who actually enjoy temple ordinances and find comfort within them, I do think that it's kind of dirty that unsuspecting people go to the temple and soon realize that things that go on in there are a bit "culty".  So I appreciate Norton's efforts to inform... especially teenagers who have only done baptisms for dead people and don't realize that they haven't yet tasted the "meat" of their religion.

If you're curious about any of this, I recommend friending Mike or checking out his excellent YouTube channel.  Hell, even if you don't watch the videos, which Mike secretly recorded with tiny cameras, the comments on his videos are very entertaining.  People really get their panties in a wad over his filming of their "sacred" rituals.  In fairness to them, I'd probably be upset about it too, if I were LDS.  But I'm not Mormon and those rituals mean nothing to me, so I don't really care too much.

Getting back to the public ridicule post...  As I read the indignant comments from Mackenzie Heath, who apparently "rage quit" the exMormon Facebook group, I was reminded of times when I have also "rage quit".  Well, actually, I've never really "rage quit", per se.  I did leave the local Vents group because I was physically sickened by one of the members who, much like Trump has shit all over the country, was spreading his shit too thickly within the group.

I couldn't stomach his misogynistic comments anymore because I'd been worn down by the summer of 2017, which was unusually stressful.  Even if I hadn't been totally offended by this guy's penchant for mansplaining and making rapey comments, I probably wouldn't have stuck around too much longer.  The group had stopped being entertaining long ago, as some of the cooler people left Germany.  It had become less about mischief and lighthearted fun than it was about simply being mean to people.  I may be snarky, but I have a conscience, and I don't enjoy being mean.  I do enjoy being crotchety.

I'm sure plenty of people have "ridiculed me" in my absence.  As long as I don't have to read it, who cares?  The truth is, I know lots of people don't like me.  I don't even like me, a lot of the time.  I'm getting to a point at which I care less about this kind of drama because really, who has the time for it?

I will admit it took some time, though, to cool down after my Vents departure.  It was mainly because there were some people in that group that I once truly respected and then lost respect for in a matter of minutes.  There were also a few people that I genuinely liked but felt I needed to disassociate from, mainly because they were married to the people for whom I had lost respect.  Even as I write this, though, I realize those people I lost respect for are not necessarily bad people.  I think they're just more interested in going with the crowd and seeming "cool", than doing the right thing.

In the wake of that incident last year, I started leaving other Facebook groups.  I even gave up one of the main ones, that many of the local Americans are a part of, because the people who were running Vents had become admins, including the mansplaining rapey guy.  I don't even know what's going on in that group now.  I left it last winter and, frankly, I don't miss it at all.  I don't have to read controversial posts about spankings, circumcisions, religious propaganda being handed out with Halloween treats, "fork language", or preachy comments from American apologists who think Germans are always right about everything (even though they're human and are sometimes wrong).

A few days ago, Bill and I were in the car and I said, "It's hard to believe how much more pleasant life is without all of that drama from Facebook groups.  I can't believe how much time I wasted with them."

Bill agreed, probably because he hasn't had to listen to me bitch about some of the stupidity in the groups.  I will admit, some of it's funny, but a lot of it is just plain sad.  I used to try to respond to people who obviously needed a clue, but now I find myself ignoring a lot of it.  I start to respond to something and realize that I just don't care to get into another drama.  It's almost never worth the effort.  I feel the same way about a lot of debates.  I won't even get into them unless it's with someone I know will respond respectfully and actually cares about my opinion.  Otherwise, it's just a waste of time and energy.

To be honest, as much as I draw blogging inspiration from Facebook, its charm is definitely starting to wear off.  I wistfully remember the days when Facebook wasn't a thing.  I'm glad it became a thing later in my life, when I was more resilient.  If I were in my 20s on Facebook, I'd probably need to triple the meds I was taking in those days.  (nowadays, I don't do prescription meds)

I'm also kind of losing my desire to blog.  It was pretty nice to take a few days off last week... and it was not so nice to care about someone in Mesa, Arizona obsessively reading my old posts.  I guess s/he must have read my "blast", since there weren't any visits from them yesterday... that I can see, anyway.  I'd like to get to a point at which I don't get the heebie jeebies about "stalkers".  I'm not quite there yet, though.  I'm not sure this blog is that interesting, anyway.

But if I don't blog, I'm not sure what I'll do with my time besides reading, sleeping, making music, watching Netflix, and taking walks.  Blogging helps me use my mind, but sometimes it does seem kind of futile and even a bit dangerous.  On the other hand, Facebook is kind of dangerous, too.

How did my life turn out this way?  It's not that I have a bad life.  I just feel superfluous... almost like a pet.  I guess I'm lucky Bill feeds me, lets me sleep in his bed, and takes me for walks sometimes.  ;-)

Anyway, I don't think I need to "rage quit" anything else right now.  However, I will say that sometimes rage quitting is the best thing a person can do for their sanity.  I am certainly realizing that now, especially since I've "cooled off".

As for the woman whose post inspired my writings today, I think she probably should move on and forget about getting a public apology from Mike and his buddy.  They aren't going to give her one.  I don't interact much with Mike because, to be honest, I think he's probably a bit of a mansplainer and they are annoying.  But I do appreciate his fervor in exposing the Mormon church, so he has that going for him.  


  1. I'm not sure I ever blogged as consistently s you do, but i haven't had much time for in in recent months and haven't really missed it. I don't think I'll give it up altogether in the near future as it is fun to look back at the bogs much later, but one every week or two or three will be enought for me for awhile.

    1. I am surprised you have any free time at all.


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