Thursday, June 7, 2018

Hillbilly antics...

Today may turn out to be a two'fer Thursday.  I have two topics in mind that beg to be written about, even if no one reads but me.  I also have nothing on the agenda today except vacuuming, and that is a chore I hate with a fiery passion.  It's 6:24am in Germany right now and the sun is already shining bright.  I don't think I'll ever get used to how lopsided the days are in the summers and winters in Europe.

Anyway... yesterday, after I wrote my sad post about Samantha Smith and Ryan White, I started messing around on YouTube and somehow I came across jessie31's channel.  Jessie (don't know if that's her name, but that's what I'll call her in this post) lives in Florida, I think... or somewhere with palm trees and people who have rocks for front lawns.  She has a very eccentric neighbor named Billy Sue.

I actually love videos involving irate people, especially when the crazy is brought.  I have found quite a few gems over the years and, a lot of times, they involve neighbors or landlords.  Well, I'm here to tell you that finding the Billy videos is like hitting the motherlode of crazy.  In fact, they're so crazy that some commenters think that they're faked or staged in some way.  I'm going to go on record to say that I don't think the videos are fake.

I have met some people who remind me of Billy, and while it's probably not nice for the neighbor to film her antics and put them on YouTube, it's pretty clear that Billy knows she's being filmed.  In fact, she deliberately puts on a show for the camera, complete with middle finger.  Behold...

Notice how calm Jessie is as she films Billy freaking out. 

Billy always wears cut off jeans and t-shirts.  She has kind of an extreme mullet and always carries a sippie cup.  I'm not sure what's in the cup, although Jessie suggests that perhaps it's an alcoholic beverage.  She always has that cup, though, and she often has a cigarette dangling from her lips as she dances around, making obscene gestures and kicking her legs in the air.  The way she behaves certainly suggests substance abuse.  

Jessie is good at editing these videos.  I noticed as her video blog progressed, she started adding music to Billy's antics.  I particularly enjoyed the video below, mainly because the music reminds me of the 1985 film Girls Just Want to Have Fun.  In fact, Billy looks like she fell out of 1985 herself.

I applaud Jessie for thinking of this song.  It's perfect for Billy's little crazy dance in the street.

If I were a psychologist, I'm sure I'd have an interesting time trying to determine what's behind Billy's behavior.  She is very hostile and has quite the potty mouth, which she doesn't mind flushing regardless of who's listening.  In the video below, she waves a flag and her middle finger, then holds up a message for Jessie.  Some viewers think it reads "Donald Trump".  Well, that figures, doesn't it?

How can Jessie stay so calm?  Billy would drive me nuts.

She also has a sense of entitlement.  In the video below, Billy's in trouble for breaking into the backyard of a neighboring property with a pool.  The neighbors had moved, so Billy took it upon herself to trespass and go swimming in the private pool.  Someone called the police and she was busted.  Curiously, the cop let her go before taking her downtown.  He probably didn't want to hear her squawking, either.

"I was just takin' a swim, okay?"  How would she react if someone broke into her backyard and started messing around with her moonshine?  Notice her boyfriend comes to the rescue...

Speaking of swimming pools and booze...

She's making shine in this video... and some commenters think perhaps she's into meth.  I don't have any experience with meth, so I don't know...  However, she does sound to me like she's a bit drunk and, with that, I do have experience.

And again with the pool, although the neighbors' 50 pound pit bull probably scared her off.

I love the music on this as Billy hits the ground.  She's pretty athletic.

Who needs cable or Netflix when you have this regularly going on in your cul de sac?

Jeez...  Wonder what this was all about?  

And this?  She's going in circles, getting nowhere fast!

Some people might wonder why Jessie films Billy and puts her on YouTube.  Some might even feel sorry for Billy.  If I were still working as a social worker, I'd probably disapprove... officially, anyway.  However, having grown up around rednecks, I'm familiar with Billy and her ilk.  Also, crazy, foul mouthed, disrespectful neighbors are no fun to share borders with.  To be honest, I'm impressed by how level headed Jessie is.  If I had to live next to Billy, I'd probably need blood pressure meds at the very least.  She would drive me batshit crazy.

She hates dogs.   She hates kids.  She threatens dogs with violence.  This would make me want to declare war on Billy.

Poor kid gets yelled at by crazy Billy...  

I think the only thing worse than having to live next to Billy is sharing a jail cell with her.  Drugs are bad, mmm'kay?

I honestly don't know if these videos are fake.  I really don't think they are.  I think Billy has some addiction issues and probably at least one mental illness of some sort.  Maybe I shouldn't laugh at her, but hell... sometimes if you don't laugh, you'll cry.  I can't blame Jessie for finding the entertainment value in having to live next to Billy and sharing the pain.  If I thought Billy's problems were wholly due to a mental illness beyond her control, I would not find these videos nearly as funny.  But I think many of her issues are self-inflicted.

I do think that if TLC gets wind of Billy, they might give her a show of her very own.  Seriously, one can make big bucks in the United States by acting like this for the cameras.  We can't pay our teachers a living wage, but if you're entertaining, you can make some coin.  I need a friend like Jessie... I'm glad I found her videos.

The music makes the video...

Damn...  I really don't miss America.  In my neighborhood, if you're lucky, you might see a helicopter land in the field behind our house or maybe a brass band or something.  Someone acting like Billy would probably be arrested on a regular basis.

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