Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Hello, 46... and inappropriate fat shaming comments from co-workers...

Today is my 46th birthday.  I am determined to enjoy it as much as possible.  For that reason, I'm going to try to keep today's post lighthearted.  I noticed that yesterday, I had plenty of piss and vinegar to spew, both on my blog and on my Facebook page...  Today, I want to be calm and collected.  It's not every day a person enters the second half of their 40s.  But I will probably fail at that, so fuck it.  Here's a story that got me going last night.


Last night, Bill told me about one of his co-workers, a guy I have met a couple of times and don't particularly like.  The guy has a very precocious son who is a Boy Scout.  Evidently, the boy's troop was doing a fundraiser involving the sale of burgers and brats.

Bill decided to have a salad instead of supporting the fundraiser.  His co-worker, a guy I'll call Fred (in honor of Fred on the televised version of The Handmaid's Tale), noticed that Bill didn't support his son's Boy Scout fundraiser.

Fred said, "What's this?  No love for the Boy Scouts, huh?"  Then he paused and said,  "Hey Bill, do you exercise a lot?"

Bill was a bit non-plussed by the question.

Fred continued, "I wish I could drink liters of beer all the time and not exercise.  I mean, you look like you drink beer and don't exercise.  Wish I could do that."

I swear, I think it would do "Fred" good to see Bill go ballistic just once...

As Bill was telling me this story of extraordinary rudeness from his co-worker, I immediately got really fired up.  Like I said, I really don't like Bill's co-worker.  I think he's a narcissistic prick.  Bill is much too pleasant to confront Fred in the way I would have.  I think he was also really shocked by how rude Fred's comments were.

I said, "You should have asked him if he wanted to fuck you."

"Huh?" Bill asked.

"Why else would he be concerned about your physique and feel the need to comment on it?  If you were a woman, that comment could be construed as sexual harassment.  It's inappropriate and unprofessional."  I explained.  "Or maybe you could have asked him how he fucks his wife... an equally inappropriate topic that is no one else's business."

Bill's eyes widened and he was probably sorry he told me about this, because I was coming up with all sorts of ways to return the shock factor to Fred.

"Maybe you should have asked him if it was time to get human resources involved..." I continued.  "I mean, comments about your exercise and drinking habits don't seem like they have anything whatsoever to do with your job.  How do you think Fred would like that?"

"Oh..." Bill said, "he'd probably back away quickly!"

"Yes... and I think that should be the ultimate goal, shouldn't it?  Fred has a habit of making nasty little digs, probably to people who are too nice and polite to tell him to fuck off.  Next time Fred says something shocking like that, I would encourage you to shock him back.  I mean... he assumes you don't exercise and drink too much beer?  Perhaps a counter comment about how sad it is that he looks the way he does without the pleasure of excessive beer drinking is in order.  Or maybe a comment that you can always quit drinking beer and start exercising, but he will continue to have the same, shitty, rude personality no matter how healthy his lifestyle is." I advised.

It must be mentioned by the time we were having this conversation, I'd probably had a liter of beer myself.  I was also remembering the last time I saw Fred, which was about a year ago.  He made fun of me for having a mushroom phobia, so I proceeded to cuss him out in front of his wife and son.  His wife looked utterly horrified...  I'm sure she was shocked by my comments, but really she should have been embarrassed by her husband's boorish behavior.  Clearly, not enough people have told him to STFU or returned the favor of his propensity toward being an asshole.  It also doesn't help that beneath my laughing exterior, I'm a bucket of seething peri-menopausal outrage.  ;-)

These days, I have a lot in common with Sharon Osbourne.  And nobody... nobody... disrespects my husband!

I don't know why Bill opted for a salad instead of a burger or a brat.  Seems to me that if Fred was trying to say Bill is a fatty, eating a salad would have been the wiser thing to do anyway.  Unfortunately, Fred is unable to be logical, hence his unfortunate digs at my husband, who just wanted to satisfy his hunger and get on with his day.

Yes, assholes, please stay away... especially on my birthday.  I suppose I should be glad that there is almost no chance someone will offer to sell me Herbalife weight loss products today.  That did actually happen to me on my 25th birthday in Armenia.  

Whew... I feel better now.  I got a nice email from one of my sisters this morning.  I responded to her and was surprised by how positive my email was.  I mean, it wasn't totally cheerful, but it was probably about 90% upbeat.  I realized that I have a lot to be grateful for, even if I'm getting old.  I also got a very nice card from my mom, who remembered that I was born on the 20th and not the 13th, as she and two of my three sisters were (different months for all of us).  My other sister was born on the 11th.  One sister also chatted with me yesterday, which was nice.

Yes, I'm upset and distressed about the current state of things in the United States and the world at large, but I have a good life right now.  And tonight, Bill and I will enjoy a lovely dinner at Gino's in Nagold and maybe do something fun this weekend.

I changed my Facebook profile pic, too, because my former English professor apparently thought it was ugly.  Maybe it's ugly, but it's kind of a good representation of my actual personality.

Yes... this is me most of the time.  That's why no one should ever call me "Sweetie".


  1. I don't think it's a bad picture at all. It does look, however, as though you are looking directly at a person who has an a-hole right in the middle of his forehead. Sometimes it is appropriate to have such an expression on one's face.

    1. I frequently have that expression on my face! Maybe that's why some people prefer a more benevolent looking visage.

  2. Happy Birthday! Love this post and the picture! I definitely would have had the same rage reaction that you did. You are beautiful and snarky and that's an awesome combo! Hope you have a great day.


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