Saturday, May 19, 2018

A word for the end of the argument...

Yesterday, I woke up in a reasonably good mood.  I was feeling a little bit spunky, I guess.  I was so spunky that I decided to comment on a friend's political thread.  I almost never comment on other people's political shit because sometimes you end up in arguments with people who aren't your friends.  That can get annoying in a hurry.  Sure enough, that's kind of what happened yesterday, except the guy who argued with me was a former Facebook friend of mine.  I used to refer to him as "Papa Smurf" because he always seemed to act like everybody's sanctimonious daddy...


Anyway... I ended up telling the guy to fuck off, just like I figured I would...

The thread was basically about how Donald Trump reportedly referred to some immigrants as "animals".  The dude I told to "fuck off" is an unabashed Trump supporter who insisted the the video showing Trump calling immigrants "animals" was actually about the MS-13 group, which I will admit I knew nothing about until yesterday.  The guy said Trump was referring to members of that group who "rape, control, and murder" people.  My first comment, which I'm not showing here, is that Trump himself rapes and controls, so his comments condemning others for doing that are hypocritical.  Papa Smurf then felt the need to set me straight, which didn't surprise me much.  Below is how we ended our conversation.


I'll admit that this was not the most adult way to handle things... but it also felt really good.

I could have kept discussing this with Papa Smurf, but I know from past experiences that he's an overbearing bully who tends to lecture and doesn't have reasoned, respectful conversations.  And, besides, I had silly songs to write and terrible final episodes of Little House: A New Beginning to watch.  So I told him to "fuck off", which I know was kind of immature.  You'd expect that would be the end of the exchange and, at least for me, it was.  I did notice he named me in a follow up comment, but I didn't bother to read it.  When I tell someone to "fuck off", I mean it, and usually "fuck off" myself.  However, I did spend the rest of the day laughing about telling him to "fuck off" because I am easily entertained.

So then I asked my friends if any of them are surprised or shocked when I use the "f-word".  That's exactly how I put it, too.  I am sensitive to the fact that some people don't like the word "fuck".  To my delight, most of my friends understood that I was just being silly and responded appropriately.  But then I got a comment from yet another man who wasn't catching on.  This guy is the same one who recently hurled an annoying Harry Potter reference at me. 


The first comment is from a female friend of mine who swears much more than I do and probably with more creativity.  But then we got comments from someone who took things more seriously than was originally intended.  The guy didn't seem to get the fun nature of the post and took it in an irritating direction...

I don't think the guy meant to be annoying.  From prior exchanges with him, I have always thought of him as basically a nice person.  I believe he's a psychologist or somehow works in the mental health field, though, so I'm kind of puzzled that he didn't catch on to the subtle cues I was trying to send him.  He didn't seem to realize that his comments were akin to waving a red cape in front of me.  Finally, I told him to "fuck off", too, and to my great relief, he did.


I'm not unlike Fred the goat when it comes to these things.

Here's what's funny to me, though.  This guy was insisting that the f-word had lost its power because it gets used so much that people no longer pay attention to it.  But when I finally told him to "fuck off", he did.  So I can't say that the word has lost its power.  Maybe we hear it more than we used to, but it still means something... especially to us older folks who were taught that it's a word you save for the end of the argument.

It's true.  I may curse a lot, but I don't swear as much as some people seem to think I do.  My parents, especially my father, did not encourage cussing.  My dad was especially offended by it and would actually hit me when I cussed.  Like... he'd lose his temper and smack me upside the head or even slap me in the face.  One time, when I was about 13, I called him an asshole and he started choking me.  You'll notice that his decision to get physical did nothing to curb my habit of cussing.  In fact, it probably made me worse.  To his credit, I remember once or twice, he did have a reasoned chat with me about why he didn't like swearing.  On the other hand, I would much rather someone say "fuck" than put their hands on another person in anger.  Seems to me my dad should have cussed more.

Anyway... my dealings with Dad left me with this lingering guilt about swearing at other people.  I don't usually cuss at people unless they ask for it.  I might cuss in general, but I don't routinely tell people to "fuck off", nor do I call them names.  I usually only do that if I'm provoked somehow.  Still, even if I feel like I have the right to say "fuck", I don't always feel right doing it.  In fact, even as I enjoy it, I often feel slightly bad about saying it.  Then, I have a good laugh.  It feels good to be "bad".

It's hard to let go of the idea that the number of friends one has is directly proportional to one's quality as a human being.  Thanks to Facebook, we can actually know how many people have "friended" us.  The older I get, the more I realize that a lot of people who are "friends" are really just nosey folks who simply want to be in on the drama.  Plenty of people are "friends" with me until I decide to stick up for myself, discover our religious or political views don't align, or they see the less conventional side of my personality.  Most of them don't bother to get to know me beyond that, don't even really like me much, and wouldn't care if I dropped off the face of the earth.

So... I suppose for those people, I might reserve a hearty "fuck off".  Maybe I'll feel bad saying it.  But then, I'll probably have a good laugh.


4 comments:

  1. I honestly can't stand "Papa Smurf."

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  2. I cuss way too much. I am trying to curb it because I need to set an example for my son. The funny thing is he recognizes my struggle with fowl language. He'll say "Good job Mama, you didn't cuss." Or, "You were really mad because you cussed a lot"

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    Replies
    1. I think cussing is pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. I'd rather someone swear a blue streak than express their anger by killing people.

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