Saturday, February 24, 2018

"Blahger" envy... or, it must have been cold there in my shadow...

I run a Facebook group for local wine and food lovers.  I started it a couple of years ago when I realized that our community has groups for almost everything but wine and food.  It's grown a lot.  At this writing, I have 598 members.  Most of them never post anything, but they're still in the group, right?

Until a few days ago, I had 604 members.  A few people dropped out.  I don't know why they left the group.  I generally don't trouble myself wondering, since most of the people in that group aren't necessarily my friends.

I recently had to remove a couple of people from the group.  One of my rules is that if someone blocks me or I block them, they can't be in my group.  I don't think it's an unreasonable rule, since I am the only admin.  I could add another admin, but that group doesn't generate enough traffic for that.  Basically, all the job consists of is adding members and very occasionally enforcing the rules.  Besides, I don't need the drama of collaboration with someone who has a different vision than I do.

Yesterday, when a few people dropped out over the course of the day, I decided to check for people blocking me.  I noticed two people's names coming up in black.  I think one person may have deactivated her account.  The other one definitely had me blocked.

I realize that not everyone likes what I do.  A lot of people don't like me, period.  They have their reasons for not liking me.  They may even be very good reasons, for all I know.  God knows, there are also people on Facebook that I don't like.  Plenty of people I've never even met can annoy the piss out of me on social media.  I even get annoyed by people who are offline friends and family members.  Some have pissed me off to the point at which I hit the block button.

The person who blocked me is not someone I ever had any dealings with, although I did notice a couple years ago that she agreed with a guy who openly insulted me and my blog in one of our local Facebook groups.  I remembered her name because it's an unusual moniker.  Two years later, I still haven't met her in person or engaged her on social media.  She joined my wine group, though.  And I guess she got pissed off about something I posted in there, because she hit her block button.  So I hit the "remove member" button.

It's not really a big loss that she's gone.  She never contributed anything anyway.  I was just curious about why she dislikes me so much that she blocked me.  My guess is that she finds "blahgers" annoying.  I did a cursory search of her on Google and discovered that she's quite the Instagram user.  Based on her posts, I'm thinking she may be thinking of me and perhaps other blahgers as her competitors.  It could be that just seeing links to my posts, which she could simply scroll past, raises her blood pressure.  Either that, or she just thinks I'm an asshole.  She wouldn't be the first person to think that.

She hates me...

I'm going to be very honest.  While I certainly don't begrudge anyone's right to write blogs, I can understand how people feel competitive in English speaking expat communities like the one we have in Stuttgart.   I try not to compete with other bloggers and, while I know I sometimes fail, I try not to be annoying about sharing my posts.  However, I would be lying if I didn't feel a twinge of envy sometimes when other people steal my thunder.  ;-)  I can admit to also being annoyed when another blogger asks me about something, uses my suggestion, and doesn't even give me a shout out.  That did happen a couple of years ago, though that blogger has since moved on.  She referred to me as "another blogger".  Gee, thanks!

Everything About You...  

I got curious about blogger envy, so I did a quick Google search and found that it's a common problem in social media circles.  Quite a few bloggers have written about feeling jealous of other bloggers or Instagram users.  The truth is, people who blog for money or attention are very possessive of their followers.  They're also jealous of other people's followers.

This is just one page of Google search results about "blogger envy"...  Clearly, it's a common issue among writers.

I don't actually pay a lot of attention to most other bloggers.  Every once in awhile, I find one that I enjoy and I follow regularly.  I read Alexis's blog pretty regularly, for instance.  But, for the most part, I don't read other people's stuff.  I figure not much good can come from it.  I'm actually surprised people read my blogs.  I mean, I guess I understand why certain people read the travel blog, since it offers ideas on places to go and things to do.  But this blog, which I think is the more interesting one, attracts readers for all sorts of reasons.  My music blog mostly only attracts people wanting to read about The Carpenters, especially Mindi Carpenter.  I guess Karen and Richard still have a devoted following, even though Karen died 35 years ago.

I realize my theory about this person may be wrong.  She may just be the type of person who gets easily annoyed by other people simply because they're living.  Or maybe I said or did something that upset her somehow and she just couldn't take it anymore.  However, looking at her Instagram and how many selfies are on it, my money is on her feeling a twinge of envy... not because I'm any more successful than she is, but because she resents that I exist and post stuff that "steals" attention she could be getting from our community.      

"She'll do anything to make me feel like an asshole."

Anyway, I hope she enjoys success in her future endeavors... and stays out of my shadow.  ;-)


  1. I'm a fellow blogger, and I am a fan of your blog. It's interesting, well-written, thought-provoking, and entertaining!

    1. Thanks Alex. I do appreciate everyone who does read. I try not to be annoying, but sometimes I can't help myself. ;)


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