Saturday, October 28, 2017

Canadian Cops...

Another thing I've been doing lately to stay out of stupid online dramas is watching Netflix.  I first got a Netflix subscription in 2001, but I cancelled it when we moved to Texas.  Later, I restarted it in Germany, but never used it because I was sucked into online dramas.  I restarted it in the spring so I could see what the whole "13 Reasons Why" hullabaloo was about and haven't bothered to cancel it again.  By the way, I didn't like "13 Reasons Why", and probably won't bother watching any subsequent seasons.

The other day, while I was vegetating on our crappy futon, I came across a show called "Under Arrest".  It features Canadian Mounties who aren't mounted on horses, but are riding around in Canada's cities picking up criminals.  It's much like the Fox show, "Cops", which I used to watch fairly regularly when I was younger.  I have read that "Under Arrest" was produced in the early 90s and was originally called "To Protect and Serve".  It ran for six seasons.  I think I'm currently on season 3 or 4.

I'm surprised by how much I enjoy Canada's version of "Cops".  First off, there's a lot of really foul language.  They don't censor most of it.  Because it was filmed in the early nineties, the women all have mall bangs and big hair and the guys have mustaches and mullets.  Everyone has a very Canadian accent, too.  

There's also a lot of nudity.  Yesterday, I saw an episode featuring a barefoot woman wearing a pair of jogging pants and only a pushup bra that was a couple of cup sizes too small for her.  She was standing outside in chilly Canada with her cups spilling over.  The police officer was very solicitous as he cuffed her, covering her with a jacket because "it's cold out tonight" and having her stand on a plastic bag.  She told the cops she had a two year old child who was waiting for her in her car, which was parked away from where they were standing.  Naturally, the police were concerned, but it turned out that was a bullshit story she made up to take the heat off of her situation.

In another episode, a derelict named Bruce is picked up.  He's all scraggly looking.  The cops know him because they've had to pick him up hundreds of times.  Apparently, he had inherited a lot of money, but fell into hard times because he's an incorrigible drunk.  He gets picked up and they haul him to jail, but he's surprisingly good natured about it.  He sings Bing Crosby style Christmas songs in the back seat of the squad car as the cops laugh.  One of them asks if he knows any other songs, then volunteers "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to jail I go!"

In another episode, the cops stop a guy who seems very upset for some reason.  He has several bags of groceries and keeps telling the police to leave him alone.  The police hesitate to leave him alone because they think there is something medically wrong with him.  He repeatedly moans that they need to leave him alone.  At one point, the cop says, "You're not going anywhere until the ambulance evaluates you."  But the guy keeps telling them to leave him alone.  Finally, they do.  I was surprised that the police were so insistent about the guy's welfare, even though ultimately he was allowed to leave.

Many times, the arrestees become profane and combative because they are usually wasted on drugs or alcohol.  When they become combative, the cops take them down and often hogtie them.  Then, they kind of pick up the arrestees like a suitcase or a cord of wood.  Hands are cuffed behind the back and legs are tied to the cuffs, then the officers kind of pick them up and carry them that way.  It looks very uncomfortable and yet kind of laughable at the same time.  There's a part of me that feels a little sorry for the people being arrested and another part that thinks the predicament is kind of funny.

I had a good laugh when one cop said, really casually, "Someone just threw a crack pipe out the window."  It's just not the kind of thing someone like me hears on the regular.  But I do have a friend who is a federal marshal and he corroborates that police work can be fully sometimes.  He says he wishes he'd kept a journal of his earlier days.  I bet he's seen some really weird stuff.

I think this show is only on Netflix right now.  It's surprisingly fun to watch, though... and the fact that it was made in the 90s makes it even funnier.  One guy even references The Kids in the Hall, which is one of my favorite comedy troupes.  I may have to veg out today and watch some more.

Here's a scene from an episode I haven't seen.

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