Thursday, May 18, 2017

My male Facebook friends are dropping like flies...


I just lost yet another male Facebook friend I know from life off the Internet.  This time, it was another guy I knew in college.  Back in January, I lost a male college friend over Natalie Maines.  Last month, I lost a male friend and his wife, presumably over my thoughts on abortion.  Last night, I lost one over a stupid click bait article about Melania Trump.

I was feeling my oats and decided to share an article about Melania Trump.  Granted, it was a dumb article with a click bait title promising photos that Donald Trump "doesn't want you to see."  There was nothing "wrong" with the photos in the article.  In fact, my friends and I weren't even discussing the article as much as we were the Trumps.  I commented that I don't think Mrs. Trump is that beautiful because, to me, she always looks like she's scowling.  Actually, so does Donald.  But I would probably scowl too if I had to screw Donald Trump.  The point is, we weren't really discussing the actual article or the photos appearing within it.

Along comes my former Facebook friend, same guy who, just two weeks ago, complained about women who breastfeed in public.  He chimed in on the discussion.

Now, in fairness to my former Facebook friend, I probably was a bit more abrupt than I should have been.  I think I was still feeling a little perturbed by his comments about public breastfeeding and other things he's said about women over the years.  He strikes me as the type of guy who wants to appear sensitive and evolved, but regularly lets sexist attitudes slip out.  I am usually fairly forgiving and ignore those comments, but I was kind of on edge last night.  Also, it was after dinner and I'd had more than a couple of drinks.  Anyway... he posts a comment that there's "nothing wrong with the photos".

I said, "I never said anything was *wrong* with the photos.  She was obviously a successful model at one time."

Then he complained about the clickbait title, to which I responded that I didn't "come up with the title."

But then he wrote this...

I just commented on the title. Ease up. If you post something, expect the world to scrutinize every detail. That's how the internet works.

That comment is what flipped my bitch switch.  So I wrote this.

It's my page... and I am not the one scrutinizing. You are.

I now realize that I misread what he wrote, probably because the condescending tone of his post set me off.  But, in fairness to him, my tone was also a little hostile.  That's probably because I wondered why he was looking at photos that Donald Trump supposedly didn't want him to see.  It seemed to me he was disappointed that they weren't more scandalous.  And it was also fresh in my mind that this is the same guy who apparently thinks breastfeeding mothers should be forced to cover up.

Anyway... the conversation continued thusly...

I was actually very calm when I wrote my comments and not really "upset".  I would say that if I was feeling anything last night, it was annoyed.  But even if I was feeling upset, it would be my prerogative and my right to express that, especially on my own fucking Facebook page.

Again, in fairness to him, I suppose I could have been nicer.  He happened to catch me at a bad time.  He probably also doesn't know that I have issues with authority sometimes.  Or... people who think they have authority over what I can and can't say or how I express myself.  I look at my Facebook page and my blogs as my "home".  I wouldn't go into someone's home and tell them to "Ease up." or "Relax." or "Chill out."  It just seems rude to me.  

Actually, last night's exchange seemed a bit more like "projection" to me.  Looking back at that post about projection, it occurs to me that he's the one who inspired that one, too!  He accused me of "projecting" because I don't like the Olive Garden.  And now he's telling me I'm "upset" when he has no way of knowing what my actual feelings are.  If he had been talking to me in person, he would have heard me speaking in a calm tone of voice.  But he assumes I'm "upset" because I asked him not to tell me what to do or presume how I feel.  I'm probably more upset as I type this than I was last night when this happened.    

Anyway... he did unfriend me.  It's probably for the best.  It's not the first time he's annoyed me and, I'm sure, I have been regularly annoying him, too.  I get the sense that he likes women who are quieter, more demure, and "nicer" than I am.  I do have an edge and can be bitchy sometimes.  Aside from that, if a disagreement about a stupid clickbait post about Melania Trump is enough to make you want to cut ties with someone, you weren't really friends in the first place.  But, I will be 45 years old next month and I don't see myself changing.  I was moved to post the following status.

I really need a change of scenery.  Glad I'm getting the hell out of Dodge.

Well, it's time to pack a bag and head to Italy.  Hopefully, tonight, I'll be sitting in a really nice restaurant instead of posting on Facebook.


  1. A nice Italian restaurant sounds like heaven right now. my parents are on (or on) the Isle of Man.

    Some people are so critical.


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