Friday, April 7, 2017

RevCam in commercials...

Maybe I really am a glutton for punishment.  As I've been reviewing old episodes of 7th Heaven (which are offered cheap on iTunes, probably because of Stephen Collins' admitted dalliances with young girls), I suddenly recalled back in the 70s and 80s when commercials were a lot different than they are today.  I wondered if Stephen Collins had done any ads.  Sure enough, I found a couple...

You never see these kinds of ads anymore.  Back in the day, you had a little story going...  

I'm old enough to remember Mrs. Olsen trying to sell crappy Folger's coffee to the masses.  Let's be real.  It's not that good.  But Collins was young and appealing enough in this ad.  

And here he is selling mediocre beer...

I guess it's a good thing Collins isn't LDS.  He's leading people to sin by pitching beer and coffee, which are against the Word of Wisdom.  Of course, neither of these products are really that sinful because both are pretty much close to water.

I'm kind of surprised I haven't found any other ads with Collins in them.  He seems to be made to sell stuff on TV.  He has this very wholesome image... or, at least he did before he was outed as a pervert.  He's a good looking guy, even at his current age.  And while his acting on 7th Heaven was annoying to me, that was probably more because of the crappy writing and lazy storytelling than his skills as a thespian.  I say this because just about all of the actors on that show were annoying.  That can't be because they all suck at their craft.  I really think it was the writing... and the sappy background music.

The show got worse as time went on, too.  The lines got more contrived, more ridiculous, more heavy handed, and more hackneyed.  For instance, yesterday I watched an episode involving Tyler Hoechlin (Martin) making friends with an older chick named Venus (Martha Plimpton, who must have REALLY needed some cash).  They were talking about what it's like to have loved ones in the military, serving overseas.  Martin would start a thought and Venus would finish it, vice versa... and it was so obviously contrived and wooden.  But that's just one of many examples involving every regular character.  So I don't think it's the actors... except for the fact that they didn't insist on better writing.

And sometimes, they'd have people guest starring who were clearly not actors.  For instance, Mackenzie Rosman's stepsister, Katelyn Salmont (who sadly passed away in 2008), starred on an episode about her real life battle with cystic fibrosis.  Katelyn's father also guest starred.  He could not act his way out of a paper bag and it was very obvious.    

Also... I have noticed that almost all of the Camden kids got hooked up with people who have money.  Matt married Sarah, who had "investments" and savings.  Mary married a homeless guy, but Mary was a "loser", right?  Lucy married a cop who had money-- enough to rent out a restaurant and hire Bobby Short to play at his proposal to her.  Simon got involved with Rose, who also had money.  This... despite the fact that RevCam didn't have money to spend on a $100 dinner, so he crashed Simon's date and forced him to pay.

7th Heaven is one of those shows I love to hate.  I watch it because it's terrible and fun to snark on, but so much of it just makes me groan.  As for RevCam in commercials, I'm sure there were others he did back in the day.  Same with Catherine Hicks.  I know she was shilling for some company... I can just see her pitching for Massengill or some other feminine hygiene product.

Here she is, selling cars...

I can see the seeds of Annie Camden in this ad...

Someone should have pointed Stephen Collins in this direction before he exposed himself to underage girls...

I'm being terrible this morning.  There's something about 7th Heaven that brings out the snark in me.  Especially when I watch the later seasons, when the show really began to stink in earnest.  I need to find some nice British comedies or something.


  1. I liked Catherine Hicks in "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home," which is one of the better films in that particular franchise. Coincidentally, Stephen Collins was "introduced" as Capt. (later Cmdr.) Decker in "Star Trek: The Motion Picture." He was okay in it, but I'm glad his character wasn't in any of the other films with the Original Series cast.

    1. I remember Catherine in Child's Play and Like Father Like Son (Dudley Moore and Kirk Cameron). And Stephen was in First Wives Club (a movie I liked until I became a second wife). ;)

  2. Stephen Collins wasn't bad looking when he was younger.

    I missed the episode with mackenzie Rosman's younger sister.

    What would it take for you to make commercials for a product under Massengill's label? I would do it before I had to watch my pets or children go hungry, but not much before.

    1. I think Katelyn was actually older than Mackenzie. It was the one where Ruthie was taking care of Sarah's horse, Ed.

      As for the commercials... I dunno. I might prefer to make one for Depends first.

  3. The females in my Uncle Mahonri's family should probably star in a commercial for Massengill, though I believe it was Summer's Eve disposable douches of which he actually stole a crate (and for which her was prosecuted and copped a plea for stealing).


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