Sunday, March 12, 2017

You MUST marry a member...

Since it's Sunday, I figure this morning I'll write about yet another video I watched yesterday concerning the LDS church.  In this video, which was made in 1960, we are introduced to a lovely piano playing lass named Connie, who has fallen in love with a nevermo-- aka Gentile-- named Ron.  Her family and bishop are mightily distressed by the fact that this man will not be able to lead her to the Celestial Kingdom.

Watching this made me grateful that my now ex Mormon husband was willing to marry a lapsed Presbyterian like me.

What's funny is that Connie makes a lot of sense when she tells her mother that she should care more about her happiness than what people in the ward think.  From what I understand, this issue is still fairly major.  Families still get upset when people don't marry within the faith.  While they say dating outside of the faith is a bad idea because it will lead to strife in the marriage, I think it also has to do with keeping the religion going.  When a couple starts having children, having parents with different or non-existent religious beliefs exposes the youngsters to different ways of thinking.  And that can lead them "astray".

All of this is more or less explained in the video.  In a way, I kind of enjoyed watching it.  It reminded me of all the old films they used to share in health class.  

While I guess I can understand how religious differences in a marriage can lead to issues, especially when it comes to raising children, I also think that people should marry people with whom they are compatible.  You can marry someone in your faith and not have anything else in common with them.  

I guess Bill and I have been lucky because he pretty much only became LDS to appease his ex wife (who, incidentally, turned 50 yesterday).  He faked belief and had false hope that it would help him fix the marriage, which was never very solid from the start.  Neither of them were particularly religious when they got married and becoming religious did not help them stay together.  In fact, in his situation, religion helped tear apart the family.  But even if they'd both been LDS and adhering to all its principles, it's extremely unlikely that their marriage would have been successful for many complex reasons.

Anyway... suffice to say, I don't necessarily believe that you must marry someone with the same religious beliefs.  If you are very religious and plan to raise your kids as religious, it may be more important.  But life is a process and can take many twists and turns.  What it boils down to mutual respect and compromise, especially when there are children involved.  And it's probably best if family members don't meddle too much in the affairs of other adults who are charting their own courses in life.

Moving on... I got a shaming comment this morning from someone who read a four year old post I wrote about Roger McDuff.  Apparently, he recently died.  This person commented on my so-called "contempt" for Roger McDuff.  To that person, I would say that I'm sure McDuff has loved ones and friends who are sad that he died.  I, myself, didn't know the man and only saw him on YouTube videos and TV.  I found his performances rather laughable, although I'm sure he had many fans.  He was entertaining to me in that respect.  Maybe, in a way, I could even be considered a fan... although not because I think he was a great singer.

In any case, everybody has to die sometime.  I'm sorry for all of those who loved Roger McDuff that his time to die was now.  But it's not my fault he's dead and I'm not a bad or contemptuous person for writing about Roger McDuff.  I certainly didn't know four years ago that my post about him would upset anyone.  I suggest that if you're that sensitive about other people's opinions, you avoid reading blogs.  


  1. Ruth Hale wrote the godawful screenplay. She was a co-founder
    of Hale Theatres and grandmother of THE Will Swenson (husband of Audra Mcdonald). Even if it was circa 1960, I expected more.

    I witnessed a real-life version of the scenario depicted in this movie on Saturday. My cousin married a Catholic girl in a Catholic Church (her parents paid for the eventy and she presumably had a major say in the venue although the groom was not forced at gunpoint to show up). my cousin's parents and all the TBMs except for Uncle Michael and his wife boycotted the wedding. My parents, Uncle Steve and his wife, and Aunt Cristelle and her husband also showed up, but they're non longer LDS.

    1. Reminds me of 7th Heaven, when Matt decided to become Jewish and RevCam threatened to boycott the wedding. Of course, the actress who played Matt's wife is now pushing up daisies, so it wouldn't have been a long marriage anyway.

    2. Do you know the cause of death for the actress who played Matt's wife?

    3. She died in her sleep at age 40. I'm not sure why.


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