Sunday, January 22, 2017

The very first gift I ever gave Bill...

Besides my friendship and undying affection, that is...

This topic comes up courtesy of Facebook's On This Day feature.  A few years ago, I randomly posted on Facebook about the very first gift I ever bought Bill.  Are you ready?

Yes, it's true.  I bought Bill a pair of black, Smith & Wesson handcuffs.  They were a very serious pair of handcuffs, too.  Professional grade.  He had told me he preferred black to silver because the black cuffs weren't shiny.  As a military man who was all about business, shiny cuffs were an affront to Bill's senses.  He preferred no nonsense black, which wouldn't give him away to the enemy.

So, off I went to eBay, where I found the cuffs being offered for sale at a reasonable price.  It happened to be 9/11/01 and I was still reeling from the wonderful Labor Day weekend we'd spent at Goshen Pass in Virginia.  I didn't know that Bill's life would be in danger that day, as he was at the Pentagon performing his duties as an Army officer.

It's been years since I last saw those cuffs, which I bought on a dare.  Bill says he brought them to Germany, but he never gets them out anymore.  Truth be told, I find them pretty uncomfortable and Bill is too kind-hearted to ask me to wear them.  Still, I know it was a rather unusual first gift.  I wasn't in the room with him when he got my present.  I had sent them from South Carolina to Virginia.  Later, I correctly guessed that when he opened the box, he got a massive hard on.  Not long after that, we were engaged.

Given the situation we were in at the time, I knew handcuffs would cheer him up a bit.  He was adjusting to life back on full time active duty and being divorced from his ex wife.  I was finishing up my last year of school.  I knew they would ring his chimes and I was right.

I enjoy making people's eyebrows raise with that story.  And no, I haven't told my mom yet, although she probably wouldn't be surprised.  She knows I get a charge out of shocking people.



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