Friday, December 2, 2016

Calmer today, because I have to be...

I didn't end up taking Zane to the vet yesterday.  We're going to go today instead.  The reason I didn't go yesterday was because I was feeling really edgy and Bill and I had a dinner date with some of his co-workers.  I didn't want to be upset before the dinner.  For the past few days, my anxiety has been in overdrive to the point that I've been throwing up and feeling sick.

Although I wasn't really in the mood to go out last night, I did end up having a good time.  I like the people Bill works with.  The food was good.  There was fun conversation and good music.  I forgot about Zane's health problems and enjoyed the evening.  We got home at about midnight, which is late for us.  The dogs were fine and we all went to bed and slept fairly well.

Zane was the first one up for once.  Bill said he went downstairs before Arran did, played a little bit, and whined for his breakfast.  I do think he's feeling better.  I notice his paw pads, which were a bit cracked from his constant chewing, have healed nicely.  His legs aren't all brown from licking stains.  He still has a few bumps that worry me, but they aren't really ugly or aggressive looking.  They may be mast cell tumors, but they aren't as scary as some of the ones I've seen in the Facebook group for Mast Cell Cancer dogs.  So there is that...  Obviously, the Benadryl and Tagamet are helping.

So we'll go to the vet and see what she says about the lumps.  The appointment is actually so she can check his ears, which she cleaned out the same time she removed the first mast cell tumor.  I told Bill last night that we could lose Zane soon.  But we could lose him soon even if he hadn't had a mast cell tumor.  Shit happens.  The truth is, he could be with us for years to come or just a few weeks.  It's all up to God and/or the universe.

It's probably time to move on from this topic.  At least writing about mast cell tumors keeps me from having to think about Donald Trump.  It's a new month.  November is over and we all survived it.  Here's to a better month... the last one of a year that has sucked for so many.

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