Sunday, November 6, 2016

Comedian Dave Foley's family court woes are no laughing matter...

Yesterday, the weather in our area was so nasty that Bill and I decided to stay in and watch TV.  I turned on old episodes of the hilarious sketch comedy show The Kids In The Hall, which was a favorite of mine back in the 90s.  One of the comedians on that show is Dave Foley, a very funny and youthful looking guy-- at least back when the show originally aired.

I was looking up the characters on imdb.com and noticed that Foley has two sons with his first wife, Tabatha Southey.  They have their mother's maiden name.  I was curious, so I did a search of his younger son, Basil, who was born in 1995.  My search led to a video interview of Foley and Joe Rogan, the guy who used to host Fear Factor.  On the video, Foley explains what happened during his first, disastrous marriage to a woman he claims suffers from borderline personality disorder.

As Bill and I listened to the interview, I watched Bill's head nod in recognition as Foley describes his ex wife spending many thousands of dollars on things like remodeling their house, furniture, koi ponds, travel to foreign countries in Africa, and summer camp.  Because he was a successful actor and comedian at the time of their divorce, Foley ended up with a ridiculous child support order that he couldn't possibly maintain.


This is the abbreviated version of the 2013 interview we listened to.

Since Foley couldn't maintain paying the child support order, he was subject to arrest in Canada.  He ended up losing contact with his sons because he couldn't visit them in Canada without risking going to jail for not be able to pay his ex wife $17,000+ a month for child support.  And even though the two boys are now grown, he's still in arrears, or at least he was in 2013.  My guess is that he hasn't been able to pay off the arrears in the last three years.  At the time of this video, he was behind to the tune of $500,000.  

I must admit, Foley has a sense of humor about his situation, heartbreaking as I know it was for him.  As much as I hate Bill's ex wife (and at this point, his ex daughters), at least they had the decency to refrain from hounding Bill to his grave for his money.  We haven't heard anything from ex or the kids in about four years.  And by that, I mean, we haven't heard anything from them via Bill's dad.  That's been how she's rattled her saber most recently.  But she hasn't dragged Bill to court repeatedly and she has allowed him to recover financially and emotionally from their marriage, albeit with no contact with his daughters.  At this point, I hope they stay away.

Anyway, as we were listening to this video starring Joe Rogan and Dave Foley, I was watching Bill nod in recognition and listening to Rogan gasping and swearing over Foley's situation with his ex wife.  While there are plenty of assholes out there who won't pay child support, have a relationship with their kids, or are abusive in some way, there are also normal guys out there who end up stuck with a crazy bitch.  Dave Foley's first wife, based on this interview, definitely qualifies as a crazy bitch.

I recommend listening to the abbreviated video of Foley's interview with Rogan.  Foley's situation is definitely extreme, but it serves as a real wake up call to anyone who thinks men can't be abused.  Something needs to be done about laws that put people, male or female, in impossible, desperate situations that deprive them of being able to see their children post divorce or cause them to run up arrears they can never pay.  There's no way Southey needed $17,000 a month in child support to raise two boys.  That is ridiculous.  There needs to be more fairness in situations like this one.  And... again... people need to be a lot more careful about sharing their DNA.

Foley did remarry and has a daughter.  That marriage also failed.  I don't know why the second marriage didn't work out, but I will bet a lot had to do with the abusive ex wife, financial hardships, and the threat of jail.  Having been in that situation myself (to a much lesser degree), I can attest to how stressful it is.  But at least it appears that Foley has a relationship with his daughter, who is also a talented comic actress.

I'm sure a lot of people want to think Foley is simply a deadbeat dad.  And yeah, a lot of people don't like the whole "men's rights" movement because they think men have more rights than women do.  Having seen a situation like this up close and personal, I think his story is credible.  The family court system is a mess.  

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