Wednesday, October 5, 2016

You never know what will shake the nuts from the trees...

Today's blog post title comes from a remark I made yesterday in response to some strange comments I got on a blog post I wrote in August.  That post was about three Marines who beat up a guy who was carrying on with one of their wives during a deployment.  I expressed how shocked I was that so many people seem to think it's okay to be violent when someone "does you wrong".  Since that post has been up, three people have commented and all three have expressed the same reprehensible sentiment.  According to them, it's just fine for three guys to ambush one guy, beat him up, tie him to a chair, threaten him, rob him, and leave him for dead, all because the guy they beat up had an affair with one of their women.  Those who commented are even dismayed that the former Marines are now in jail for what they did.

Folks, I think that kind of thinking is just nutty.  But when you write a blog, especially when you write about true crime cases, you tend to attract people who aren't necessarily even keeled.  When a crime case affects someone personally, sometimes they go Googling for other people's thoughts on it.  Sometimes they get upset that people who aren't directly involved in a situation have a different perspective.  Another person's objective thoughts can clash with their subjective ones, and sometimes that's very upsetting.  I can certainly understand that.  In fact, I have gotten a lot of comments from people who have been involved in the crimes I write about.  Sometimes people get pissed off about things I write, though the vast majority of the comments I've received have been basically civil.  In fact, one commenter even convinced me to take another look at what happened and actually changed my perspective significantly.  I ended up writing a follow up piece that she thanked me for posting.  

As for the case that inspired today's rant, I will admit that I don't know the whole story or the people involved.  I simply commented on what I read in the news back in August.  Everybody does that, by the way, usually on Facebook or Twitter.  I just happen to do it on my blog.  I have a perfect right to write about what I want to; anyone who is affiliated with a military service member should certainly respect that right.  Freedom of expression is one of the many reasons people in the military put on a uniform every day.  But I can understand on one level why my comments might feel personal when, in fact, they really aren't.  I'd have to know the people involved for them to be personal.  

The comments left by one person yesterday were especially comical.  First, she accused me of being a racist because I described a previous commenter as "savage".  She claims that the term savage is offensive to members of the Apache tribe; then she made racist comments about how I must be "cabbage patch ugly" and "lighter skinned".  I had never heard of the word "savage" being a racist term.  So, I did what I always do when I am unsure of a word.  I looked it up in the dictionary.  Good ol' Dictionary.com spit out twelve definitions of the word "savage", none of which indicated that the word is at all racist.  

I think the word "savage" is an excellent description of what happened to the victim, Norman Early III.  I don't know what kind of man Mr. Early is, overall.  I don't think he was very smart to be screwing around with a married woman, especially if she'd asked him to leave her alone.  Perhaps Mr. Early was thinking with the wrong head.  But I do think that three guys tricking him into coming over to a woman's house and then beating the hell out of him is savage behavior.  I do think that people who agree with that type of egregious violence are savage.  My use of the word "savage" was in no way racist.  It's a word used to accurately represent the violence perpetrated on one man ambushed by three violent ex Marines who are now, well-deservedly, sitting behind bars.

Next, my commenter left me an incoherent rant about her friend, evidently the woman who was involved with Early.  She explains that her friend was apparently so badly upset by all of this that she lost 27 pounds.  Look, I don't know her or her friend.  I certainly didn't write a piece on my blog to deliberately vex either of them.  However, I have to wonder how it was that her friend allegedly had a romantic relationship with Mr. Early while her husband was deployed.  She was married, right?  So why was she dating?  Where would Mr. Early get the idea that she was available or interested in a relationship with him?  

Like I said, I only know what I read in the media and I really am curious.  Was Early a dangerous person who harassed her?  If so, why not call the police?  If it was a consensual relationship going on while her husband was deployed, then I have to conclude that she is also culpable.  Married people shouldn't be dating other people unless the two spouses have an agreement of some sort that the marriage will be open.  Based on what happened to Mr. Early, I don't think that was the situation.  Maybe it's time to take the Tide out of the window?

Next, the commenter attacked my looks, my intelligence, my knowledge of the world, and even my sweet husband, Bill, whom she claimed cheats on me.  Actually, what she said was that I have been cheated on, I just don't know it.  I think she makes a lot of erroneous assumptions about me, probably based on her own experiences.  I'd like to take a few minutes to clear them up for her.

First off, no, I have NOT been cheated on.  How do I know?  Because I only had one boyfriend before I dated Bill.  That was in high school, and I was my ex boyfriend's very first girlfriend.  Our relationship was not sexual, so even if he had been messing around on me (and he definitely wasn't), it would not have been a big deal.  I did not date anyone else until I met Bill, when I was in my late 20s.  My lack of dating experience is not a tragedy, by the way.  I was doing just fine as a single person.  I lucked out and found a great husband without doing a lot of dating.  I don't need a man to complete me, but it's really nice to have a good one by my side.

I'm grateful that I found Bill and treat him accordingly.  Next month, we'll celebrate fourteen years of marriage.  For most of the days of our union, he's been happily at home with me at night, with the exception of when he goes TDY or during his one deployment.  When he was deployed, he had neither the time nor the opportunity to cheat.  I know this because when Bill had free time during his deployment, he wrote and called me.  When he goes on business trips, he does the same.  When Bill is not with me, I know he is thinking of me because he stays in touch.  But even if he did cheat on me, that would be on him, not me.  Why should I be ashamed if someone cheats on me?  Someone else's decision to cheat would not be indicative of my character.

My husband did not remove his ex wife's wedding ring until he had divorced her.  He did not pursue a relationship with me until their split was final.  He's not a cheater.  He pretty much despises his ex wife, but he still respected their marriage until it was officially over.  Some men are solid like that.  I'm sorry if the men my commenter hangs around with aren't.  Perhaps she should spend some time seeking out a better class of people.  Here's a hint-- good people aren't necessarily good looking or wealthy.  They have good character, empathy, solid ethics and wisdom.  They don't need to use violence to show everyone what "bad motherfuckers" they are.  Sometimes good people may seem "boring", but I'll take boring over violent, unfaithful, crazy, and malicious any day.

As for my looks-- the fact that she thinks I have a fat ass (and I do)-- well, I suppose worse things have been said to and about me by people whose opinions I care a whole lot more about than hers.  Attacking someone's appearance is pretty weak.  There's a lot more to being a quality human than being physically attractive...  but, for the record, many people who have met me in person have told me they think I'm pretty cool, including and especially my "cheating" husband.  Really, when it comes to my attractiveness or lack thereof, Bill's opinion and my own are the only ones that matter.  

As for my "knowledge of the world", I can promise you that it's a hell of a lot more extensive than hers is, poor thing.  At least I have enough knowledge to be able to construct sentences that make sense.  I've probably experienced a lot more of the world than she has, too.  I'm likely much older and wiser and have a broad enough world view to know that giving in to rage, beating someone up, and ending up in prison is just plain stupid.  It's a waste of money, potential, and most importantly, time.

The years those three ex Marines will spend in prison can never be reclaimed.  If they had just stopped and thought about it before succumbing to violence, they might be making something good out of themselves instead of rotting in their cells.  That, to me, is the really tragic and "nutty" part of this whole situation.  It's not easy to become a Marine.  I know I couldn't do it.  Those guys were able to become Marines and then royally fucked up over something that, in the long run, probably wouldn't have amounted to a hill of shit.  That's not my fault, and I certainly have the right to express my opinion about it.

So... let's just get one thing straight.  If you're not strong enough or broadminded enough to read other people's conflicting opinions, I suggest you refrain from using Google and stay away from blogs and comment sections.  Moreover, this is my blog and I will write whatever I damn well please; so if you're going to insult me, please come better prepared and be more articulate.  And finally... as Samuel L. Jackson says... 



Perhaps this is a sentiment my commenter can readily understand...

4 comments:

  1. Some people need to get a life and stop harassing you about yours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I couldn't agree more. :)

      My advice is to stay out of the news and don't go looking for trouble.

      Delete

Comments on older posts will be moderated until further notice.