Sunday, October 2, 2016

Okay, guy...

Yesterday, while recovering from a busy Saturday and binge watching CHiPs on iTunes, Bill and I were reminded of a funny incident that occurred in Asheville, North Carolina in November 2010.  We had been celebrating our eighth wedding anniversary at a lovely B&B.  Over several days, we enjoyed good food, quirky art, and excellent beers.  We really had a great time!

I think if and when we return to the USA, I would happily settle in a town like Asheville.  I had first been introduced to it in 2000, when I sang at a friend's wedding (she has since been twice divorced and is now on her third husband).  I like Asheville, though.  If I recall correctly, we went there after tossing a coin.  Heads, we'd go to Charleston, South Carolina.  Tails, we'd go to Asheville.  Asheville won.

In any case, on our way out of town, we stopped at a gas station.  We needed to fuel up for our drive back to Georgia, which was where we were living at the time.  Bill went into the convenience store to pay for the gas and pick up some refreshments for the trip.  I waited in the car.

While I was waiting, I looked out a window and saw a police officer yelling at some dorky looking guy.  The guy did not appear to be a mental giant.  He just kind of stood there looking sheepish and dumb while the cop tore into him.  I heard the cop yell "I don't CARE!  I don't want to come back out here because of you!"  Then he stormed off.  I was left curious as the cop drove away in his car.

Bill came back to the car chuckling.

"What the hell was going on in there?" I asked.

It seemed the guy I witnessed being yelled at out front had been regularly loitering around the premises and annoying the clerk.  She had called the police about him.  Based on the responding police officer's demeanor when he arrived, she'd called them more than once.  The officer arrived looking very annoyed.  He snapped at the clerk, "What?!  Why do you keep calling me?"

She looked over to where the alleged irritator was standing and said, "I've asked him to leave and he won't.  He's causing a disturbance."

Bill turned and looked at the guy standing behind him, who apparently was feeling paranoid.  He said the eyes got really big as he stood in line holding some fruit (Who buys fruit at a convenience store, anyway?).

The cop looked at the guy standing behind Bill and said, "Him?"

"No, not him." the clerk responded.  "That guy over there.  HIM!"  She clearly pointed him out and the man standing behind Bill seemed to relax a bit.

"Okay guy," the cop said, "Let's go outside and talk about this."

"I didn't do anything." the alleged perpetrator whined.

"Just come with me." the cop snarled.

This was the point at which I took over observing.  I wondered if the cop was annoyed because it was such a petty nuisance, having to deal with some jerk who was bothering a clerk in a convenience store.  I wondered if he was about to go off duty and was irritated by having to deal with such nonsense.  I wondered if the cop was simply burned out on police work and needed to take up a less stressful occupation.

I just thought it was funny to watch him yell at this dude, Barney Fife style, while Bill and I looked on at different points.  Bill saw the beginning of the confrontation and I saw the ending.  We both ended up getting different perspectives of the same mundane police related incident.  And now, when we're watching a show like CHiPs on iTunes, we sometimes are reminded of that incident.  Last night, it happened as we were watching a character trying to rip a pin out of a grenade with his teeth.

Bill, who happens to have some direct experience with grenades, scoffed at the unrealistic nature of the scene.  He said, "Okay guy, you can't rip a pin out of a grenade with your teeth John Wayne style..."

I started laughing, because just those two words, "Okay, guy..." took me back to that day as we observed an annoyed cop in Asheville, North Carolina.  I guess cops can't all be like Ponch and Jon, right?  Y'all be safe on the roads now, hear?

And only loosely related to this post... here's a guy playing the CHiPs theme on an organ.  Someone really ought to turn this into a wedding march.