Joannie and Chachi started off in love. Wonder if they'd still be together thirty plus years later...
Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for my husband, Bill. He is honest and loyal as the day is long. I never worry about what he's doing. I suppose I probably should be more concerned, but I'm really not. He truly is a good egg. When he's not at work, he's with me. And usually, when he's not working, he's even sitting in the same room with me. When would he have time to do anything to violate my trust in him?
Unfortunately, I know all too well that not everyone is lucky enough to have such a faithful partner. One of my cousins was at one time married to a woman who was very jealous and insecure. I remember her rantings about men who look at other women. She was very much anti-porn because she felt the women in the pictures were a threat to her. I remember thinking she was being ridiculous. Later, she and my cousin divorced. I'm sure they split up due to a number of issues, not the least of which was his love of drinking and her penchant for being overly emotional and controlling. I don't believe he was ever unfaithful to her, but I think they had a lack of intimacy. He eventually declared himself an alcoholic and swore off the sauce. He is now remarried and very religious.
My cousin's ex wife also remarried for a time. I remember her constant breathless Facebook status updates about her third husband (my cousin had been her second). She would post pictures of the meals she had lovingly prepared for him. Too many of them included mushrooms, so I couldn't look at them for too long. But I could see that she had put a lot of thought into making her husband's dinners. She would also post about his compliments to her. Many of the things he said had a lot to do with her physical appearance. I suppose that should have been a hint of what was to come. Not long after one of her "hot damn" status updates, my cousin's ex wife notified her friends that she and her third husband were going to split up. She had caught him cheating.
My cousin's ex wife is now divorced again, but she still dates. Many of her status updates are about her love for her three kids. One of those kids is my cousin's son. He's seventeen and already a father of a one year old. My cousin's ex wife also posts about God and Jesus a lot. Like my cousin, she's gone all religious.
Although I trust Bill very much and I don't worry about him when he takes business trips, I have told him that if he ever cheats on me and brings home a disease, I will take him to the cleaners. I would be hurt enough by infidelity, but bringing home a sexually transmitted infection would be a dealbreaker for me. Bill has assured me repeatedly that he would never do that. I believe him because I know him very well. He likes women and yes, even likes to look at pictures of them, but he's not one to engage them until he knows them very well. Or, at least that's what I think.
I guess I don't understand men that well. I have been told they are very visual creatures. I have heard they have a need to "spread their seed" far and wide. As a woman who is very satisfied with her mate, I guess I don't understand shopping for another one. I suppose for some people, marriage isn't a good arrangement because they are always looking for someone else. They aren't appeased by what one person can give them. Either that, or they don't communicate enough with their partner to get what they need. They lack intimacy with that other person. There's no trust or bond.
I have seen men do unbelievably stupid things for a simple glance at a woman's private parts. I've seen them look for excitement with other women online, even though they can't even be sure that the other woman is, in fact, a woman. It's basically meaningless bullshit built on fantasy. The guy gets involved with a "woman" (or someone he believes to be a woman) and has a "relationship". But it's not a relationship because it's not based on reality. They chat and send each other pictures, which may or may not even be based on the reality of who they are. They don't expect to ever meet offline. They waste time and energy on something that won't likely come to fruition.
I learned this song yesterday and it's kind of timely for this post. Sorry, it's karaoke, but the guy singing with me is pretty good.
I've seen and heard of men spending a lot of money on things like "dirty panties". A few years ago, I read an interesting book called The Big Book of Pussy, which I later reviewed. In that book, there was a chapter about women who worked for a mail order service that sold love letters to horny guys. Each letter came with a pair of "used" women's underwear. They had a good time coming up with ways to make realistic looking and smelling skid marks so their product would seem legit to the poor idiots who purchased them. Pathetic.
I've seen men stupidly throw away relationships with very good women just so they can indulge their feelings of lust. To be fair, I have also seen some women behave similarly. But, for some reason, this behavior seems especially common among men. It makes you wonder if males really are just a separate species with feelings and desires that are so totally alien to females. Although I used to notice a lot of good looking men when I was single and I developed crushes, I am honest when I say I don't have those feelings anymore. At least not right now. I want Bill and only Bill. I think he feels that way about me, but I can't be absolutely sure. Friends and family members have told me how devoted he is and I believe them. But I've also seen a lot of other women suddenly blindsided by infidelity. I can only imagine how devastating it is.
I am sure I have family and friends who look at me next to Bill and wonder why he's with me. I've even asked him that myself. For a long time before we met, I didn't think I'd ever find a significant other. Now that I do have one, sometimes I wonder if it's one day going to turn out to be a mistake. I know that's kind of an irrational thought, since I have absolutely no reason to doubt Bill's fidelity. But then I see people I know going through the aftermath of an affair and I picture myself in that situation. I wonder how I would cope.
An appropriate song for those who are dealing with life "After the Love Is Gone".
I feel pretty sure that I won't ever marry again. I doubt I will ever find anyone as perfect for me as Bill is. I also doubt my company would be enough for most men, even though a lot of men seem to enjoy me for my personality. But I bet if I hung out online, I could engage any number of bored, lonely, horny, unfulfilled males looking for a fix. It's really sad. I'm glad that at least it looks like I got one of the mature ones who is genuine. For now, anyway.