Our Fourth of July weekend was rather subdued this year. We took the dogs to the vet yesterday because Zane needed an allergy shot and I wanted the vet to have a look at some lumps he's developed. She did a needle biopsy of one of the lumps. I probably ought to have her do all of them, but that might seem like overkill. I have been worried about Zane, although it's likely the lump the vet aspirated will turn out to be a lipoma.
Aside from the dog, I've been a little worried about myself because I have a nagging ache in my back that seems to refer pain to my right breast. It's pretty much a constant ache, though if Bill massages it, I get temporary relief. Somehow, Bill is able to find the spots on my back that hurt the most. He is somehow able to pinpoint where they are because the tight spots feel different than the rest of the muscles. He's really good at locating where they are, as if they are made of metal and Bill's fingers are loaded with magnets.
Anyway, because the ache from my shoulder radiates to my breast, it causes anxiety. I worry about cancer, of course, and a host of other chronic diseases I know too much about. But I also have zero desire to visit a doctor. Bill thinks I should be checked out, but I am very reluctant. Logically, I know it would be wise, but emotionally the idea makes me want to throw up.
So last night, he was trying to convince me to see a doctor and I started feeling really depressed. I finally had to ask him to change the subject. Eventually, he'll either wear me down or seriously go into Pat Boone mode and lay down the law.
Then, while Bill Skyped his mom, I decided I wanted to watch Morgan Freeman in Lean On Me, a movie I used to love to watch back in the day. It was made in 1989, when I was in high school, and is the story of Joe Clark, the baseball bat wielding high school principal who did his best to clean up Eastside High in Paterson, New Jersey.
As I was watching, Bill came in to tell me about some other stuff. I couldn't hear the movie over Bill's talking. I finally had to stop the film and decided to just go to bed. This morning, after a pretty good night's sleep, I'm feeling a little tense and apprehensive. I hate July. It is historically a bad month. Logically, I know it doesn't necessarily have to be a bad month, but a lot of bad things have happened to me in July. So every year, when July swings around, I get nervous.
I continue to tell myself that no matter what, July 2016 is unlikely to be as horrible as July 2014 was.