Thursday, July 21, 2016


There's a guy I occasionally run into on social media who prefaces a lot of his posts with non verbal communication in parenthesis.  I find that a very annoying thing to do.  Since I have nothing more substantial to bitch about right now, I'm going to complain about it.  I know it's petty and stupid to write about something like this, but it's either that or more whining about my anxiety.  I think my anxiety is a topic that's just about played itself out for now.

This guy I run into usually tries to come off as a "voice of reason", which is probably more the reason why I find him so irritating.  If you've read this blog for any length of time, you may already know how I feel about voices of reason and their need to appear to be above it all.  I'm not sure what childhood trauma has made me dislike it so much when people are like this.  But I'm willing to own my weakness and admit that all knowers and holier than thou types really get under my skin and cause a reaction not unlike embarrassing feminine itching.

Anyway, I notice that before he posts his long winded soliloquies full of sage wisdom, he will put something in parenthesis.  Here's a for instance that I'm making up for illustrative purposes...

"(Laughs) well, I think everyone knows that if anyone behaves on my watch, they'll get a "talking to" or outright banned from the group."

Or how about something like this?

"(Grins) I think it's time that people "let go" of the anger stemming from Facebook groups imploding."

First off, why the fuck would anyone care if you preface your comment with a laugh or a grin?  What is the purpose of that?  Is this guy so self important that he thinks we need an explicit accounting of his non verbal communication offline?  I think what makes this especially irritating to me is that the (laugh) usually comes off to me as belittling and condescending... like we all need additional information to understand his meaning other than just reading his words.

And boy, do I have issues about condescension.  I know I do.  It's another problem I'm willing to try to own, but the first step to solving a problem is admitting it exists.  When someone starts their comments off with a non verbal cue in parenthesis, all it makes me think is that they think they're above it all somehow and we need to understand exactly how he's communicating.  The rest of us should take notes on how mature and sage this guy it is.  He's like Dorothy Zbornak without the wicked sense of humor.  Stop it, dammit!

Secondly, what makes you think other people care that you think it's time they "got over it".  Who appointed you the fucking leader?  Aren't we all grownups?  You aren't my babysitter, buddy.  And when you tell people to "get over it", chances are good that all you'll do is fan the flames and make them even more pissed.  Of course, it's entirely likely that fanning the flames is what this dude wanted to do all along.  All the while, he can appear calm, composed, and mature while other people go bananas.

I'll go on record to say that when someone communicates in this fashion, I just want to plant a solid kick right in their family jewels.  But I don't do that anymore because I've had therapy, evolved, and don't think it's something worth going to jail over.  Instead, I just think of things exploding in my head.

Seriously, though... what is the purpose of putting non verbal cues in parenthesis?  Why do it?  Why not use the ever popular LOL?  Or even an emoticon?  What a self righteous shithead.

Here's a song for all voices of reason out there who think I need to know about their non-verbal communication on social media.  Not work or kid safe.

From me to you, voice of reason...


  1. The first surgery this morning isn't scheduled for me until 6:30, so I need not be there until 5:30 or so.

    I can't play the song right now because I don't have my ear buds and my brother is asleep, by I can already tell that it will be my among favorites.

    I despise those "voice of reason" people. There was one in the Judge Alex group (to which I went under my aunt's name because I don't have FB) and I found her so incredibly tiresome that I stopped going there.

    My female JA "friend" notwithstanding, I find a whole lot of Mormon men to be self-proclaimed voices of reason who think that others care about their wry grins or hard-ons or any other means of self-expression they may have. It's something I sort of dread about getting older. For some reason, I don't think people of my age are quite so obnoxious about thinking we're the voices of reason (there are exceptions, of course) but as we get a bit older, the trait is going to come out in a whole lot of us, I'm sure. Why can these people not see themselves as others see them?

    1. Because they're too busy jerking themselves off while staring in the mirror. Blecch!


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