Sunday, May 8, 2016

Making the most of Mother's Day...

A couple of years ago, I shared an article about Mother's Day that I read on  I quit following Salon some time ago, because despite popular belief, I'm not liberal enough to read it.  I get annoyed by some of the articles which slant further to the left than I do.  Yep, I'd say that when it comes to politics, I'm pretty squarely in the middle.

Anyway, a couple of years ago, there was an article posted there about a woman who hates Mother's Day.  I shared it with my friends because I thought it offered a good perspective.  Not everyone likes Mother's Day, Father's Day, or even Christmas.  Sometimes holidays that honor family are painful to those who either don't have family or don't want to be reminded of family.  These special days set aside to honor parents can be lovely or they can inspire guilt, shame, or even anger.

A politically conservative "friend" of mine-- really more a friend of Bill's-- took me to task for sharing the article.  Over the past few years, something has happened to him to make him even more right wing than he was when we met.  This guy, who has no problem being a shyster and no compunction about sending us booze in the mail, really seems to have a hangup about mothers.

This is the same guy who, until a few months ago, used to give me shit whenever I posted about abortion.  He seems to think that mothers are somehow "sacred" and are to be honored above all else.  Of course, a woman who doesn't do motherhood right is the object of his scorn.  But those who are loving and "perfect" are put on a pedestal.  In my friend's eyes, they are somehow better than the rest of us.

Look... I love my mom, but even she would probably think there was something wrong with me if I went over the top on Mother's Day.  In fact, what my mom really likes to do on every Sunday is take naps.  If I call her today, I will have to make sure I call at a time when she's likely to be awake.  Otherwise, she might not appreciate my warm wishes.  Mother's Day is one day when I am especially grateful that my mom is pragmatic and sensible.  She doesn't get all nutty about days like today, though she did give me a ration of shit when I forgot to send my dad a card for Father's Day one year.

Last year, Bill and I decided to go to a local Greek place for lunch.  It turned out there was a huge Mother's Day luncheon going on.  We waited forever to get our food and I was reminded that more than anything else, Mother's Day is a business incentive.  Take your mom out to lunch.  Buy her cards and flowers.  Buy her a gift of some sort.  That's all very nice.  But why should you do that on the second Sunday of May as opposed to any other day?

I will never get to celebrate Mother's Day as a mother, so today doesn't mean all that much to me.  Bill and I will probably go out and buy a new propane cylinder for the grill.  Maybe we'll manage to have lunch somewhere, too.  I'll sit here and thank my lucky stars that I don't wait tables anymore.  If I did, today would be especially stressful.

Anyway, here's my simple thought.  Not everyone likes Mother's Day.  Not everyone appreciates or even likes their mother.  Life is a good thing for some people, but others are perfectly miserable and would have preferred to be spared this existence.  So if you have a friend or a loved one who isn't into today, please don't shame them.  We're all different.

As for me, I am a bigger fan of Mother's Day than Father's Day... but Father's Day is usually right around my birthday, so Bill does all he can to make it a good time for me and forget that he has two shithead ex daughters who can't be bothered to acknowledge him.  See what I mean?  Sometimes these "holidays" really are painful.


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