Thursday, April 28, 2016

Pornographic spam...

Wow... that's quite a title for a blog post, isn't it?  It almost sounds like the name of a new wave band or something.  Nevertheless, this morning, I have pornographic spam on the brain.  Why?  Because that's what's been taking up residence in the spam folder of my Yahoo! email account.

I have three email addresses on three different free accounts.  I have a Hotmail account that I've had ever since I got married.  I have had a Yahoo! account since before I got married.  I also have a Gmail account that I probably started using when everybody was saying Gmail accounts were the shit.  Remember, there was a time when you had to have an invite to get Gmail!  I'm not sure what that was all about.  But anyway, I apparently bowed to the pressure and got myself Gmail, which I use sometimes.  The account I use the most is the Hotmail/Outlook account.

Spam is always a problem, though it's not as bad as it was in the days before spam folders.  I used to get pornographic spam in my Hotmail/Outlook email, but that stopped years ago.  Now I get emails from Nigerian princes and rich widows in that account.  Sometimes I get legitimate emails in my Hotmail spam folder, too.

The spam folder in my Yahoo! mailbox, on the other hand, is almost always 100% full of pornographic spam.  Or, at least that's what it appears to be.  I never open the emails because they mostly seem to addressing heterosexual males.  Since I am a heterosexual female, I have no interest in seeing some chick named Mona's "pics" and I'm not looking to hook up with "local girls".  Even if I was interested in that, I could easily go to Sindelfingen, which is a city not far from where we live, and visit Erospark.  Erospark, for those who don't know, is basically a whorehouse.

Sorry...  I wouldn't necessarily call it a whorehouse if I was left to my own devices.  I only call it that because referring to Erospark as a whorehouse makes me laugh.  Bear with me because there's a story behind the Erospark whorehouse... which I've probably already written on this blog, but what the hell.  I'll write it again for those who came late.

Back in 2014, when Bill and I first moved to Germany, I joined a bunch of Facebook groups for local American military expats.  There was a guy in one of the largest groups who called himself Gabriel Kingston (not his real name).  Gabriel was a masterful troll.  He used to pull gags in the Facebook groups and would piss off a lot of people.  Personally, I found Gabriel hilarious, but he was definitely guilty of being naughty in groups that were intended to be helpful and serious.

Anyway, one day some lady asked about things to do on a Sunday.  Sundays in Germany can be boring if you don't know which places are open.  It's not like the United States, where a person can simply go shopping at the mall or something.  Sundays in Germany are for family, church, and peace.  Of course, restaurants and museums are open and it's always possible to go walking, which is what a lot of the locals do.  And our old friend Gabriel came up with an inspired activity for the gentleman who was hoping for a little family fun.

I wish I had copied the actual conversation, but basically Gabriel told the person that she should pay a visit to Erospark.  He touted it as great fun, especially after church.

A few minutes later, another guy came back and wrote "Are you sure you didn't mean Europa Park (a local amusement park)?  Because I just looked up Erospark and that's a whorehouse.  I'm not really wanting to take my family there."

Gabriel continued to josh with the guy, posting more and more ridiculous comments about how awesome Erospark is for the whole family...  especially Dad!  Prostitution is legal in Germany and highly regulated.  So yes, if you wanted to, you could visit Erospark and enjoy the services of a prostitute.  I'm not sure if they are, in fact, working on Sundays.  My guess is that they probably take Sundays off and spend time at home.

Incidentally, Gabriel also once claimed that in Germany, children are not welcome in church.  He said German parents usually leave the kids sitting in the car while they worship.  Naturally, that little joke got a whole lot of people upset, but it was hilarious nonetheless.  I miss Gabriel.  He left Germany last year and was always getting banned from the local groups, so his shenanigans are no longer a thing here.

Speaking of church...  I found a hilarious new YouTube channel last week.  It was "suggested" by YouTube.  Basically, there's a black comic who posts about crazy church stuff on his channel.  He includes all kinds of craziness.  I spent probably two hours watching video after video, killing lots of valuable time on the planet.  And because I am a generous person, I will share his channel with people who would rather laugh than read my blog.  Here are just a few videos that got my attention.

  

This is the first video I watched by KevOnStage...  Alexis, I highly recommend that you check this one out... 


Old guys fighting in church...


Sexy dancers in church...


And very odd "praise dancing"...

You could seriously spend the whole day watching this shit.  I know I did.  It beats watching the snow that has been falling (but not sticking) all week.


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