Sunday, November 29, 2015

Losing followers... do I offend?

I maintain a Facebook page for my three blogs.  It's not a very popular page, mainly because I don't really publicize it that much.  I do have a link to it on this blog, but not on the other two blogs I write.  I mainly put it up as a way to communicate with readers in a way other than the comment section and advertise links to people who aren't friends but want to keep up with my blog.  I do have a few regular readers who lurk and never comment.

The Facebook page for The Overeducated Housewife is also a good place to put links to blog posts when I don't want to put them on my personal page.  Sometimes I write about friends and family and I don't necessarily want to invite drama by encouraging them to read posts that might upset them.  Of course, if a family member of friend ever did call me out over something, I would explain myself.  But it's not my wish to upset people if I can avoid it.  I don't think my family reads this blog much if at all, anyway.  Only a handful of my friends read it and usually only certain posts.

Yesterday, I noticed that I lost two followers.  I don't know who they were or what I wrote that turned them off.  One of them was likely a friend, too, since I also lost a friend on my personal page.  Since I am not actually missing the person who dropped me, they couldn't have been too much of a friend to me.  I can't help but wonder, though, which of my most recent posts prompted unfriending and unliking.  Was it the one about "dependas"?  I do have a few military friends and a few of them are staunchly in favor of calling out "dependasauri" and "dependapotamuses".  That's their right, though I don't necessarily agree with it.

Was it the post about drinking while breastfeeding?  I'm not a mother myself, so I am probably less protective of children than a lot of people are.  I do like kids, but I don't have those "mama bear" instincts.  I wonder if someone was upset that I wasn't outraged that Tasha Adams was drinking while breastfeeding in a restaurant.  Not that their being upset with me would change my mind.  I happen to think that people have gotten a little nutty when it comes to child welfare.  Maybe I'm just getting old and crotchety, though.

Maybe it was my Turkey day posts...  Did people find them tasteless and horrifying?  Hard to tell.  I guess it doesn't matter that much.  Personally, I was surprised I didn't lose a lot of friends over my Woody Allen post from 2014.

I don't do a lot of interacting on the blogs' Facebook page unless someone specifically addresses me.  I probably should post more to the masses rather than just use the page for disseminating links.  But then, maybe people don't like the Facebook option because they are identified.  I don't allow anonymous posts, though I do get a lot from "Unknown", which is pretty much the same as anonymous.  I don't know why people bother with "Unknown".  If you called yourself some other name, I'd never know the difference.  You'd be just as unknown to me if you went by Stevie Ray as you would calling yourself "Unknown" or "Anonymous".

While I guess I don't like it when people unfriend me, I find that as I grow older, it matters a lot less than it once did.  When it comes down to it, I have a small core of people I talk to regularly.  The rest of the people I wouldn't immediately miss if they dropped off the face of the earth.  It's sad to write that about so-called friends, but that's the truth.  In the days before social media, people flowed into and out of each others' lives often without much fanfare.  Someone could be part of your life one day and disappear the next.  You might stop and wonder what happened or where they went, but then you'd probably shrug and simply move on.  What other choice do you have?

I used to have a "friend tracker", which would tell me when I was unfriended and by whom.  I eventually got rid of it, though, because I found that it caused me a lot of angst.  I'd see someone's name in red.  It would say whether or not they deleted or deactivated their account or they just decided to unfriend.  While it was useful to know who was no longer on my list for the sake of not trying to friend them again, I found that those who dumped me evoked feelings of bitterness.  If you read this blog regularly, you may know that I'm already fairly bitter and jaded about some things.  I don't need more of that in my life.

I think I'd like it if Facebook made it optional to show the number of friends you have.  I know you can hide your friends list from non friends.  That's not what I'm referring to.  What I'd like is the option not to know the number of people on your friends list.  If someone drops off, I'd rather not know about it.

But anyway, if anyone is wondering, yes I do notice when my number of followers suddenly goes from 80 to 78 in two days.  Maybe I should worry more about offending people.  On the other hand, it's my blog and these are my thoughts... and I can't please everyone or even anyone but myself.  It's my place for expressing myself as I please.  And I've been annoying and pissing people off my whole life.  I certainly can't change now!


  1. I would give a lot to be followed by Private Booger.

    If I get tired of studying, I will watched "Ferris Beuhler's Day Off" later today.

    I don't lose a great deal of sleep over people who stop following, though I do tend to wonder about it.

    1. Damn, that Ferris Bueller picture turned out huge! I think I'll leave it that way, just to be annoying.


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