Thursday, October 1, 2015

Tacky wedding moves...

I am so glad my wedding is long done and over with.  It was stressful to plan it, especially since Bill and I were really hurting for money back in 2002.  It seems like yesterday I was in the throes of wedding planning; but shit, it's been 13 years.  Amazing.

Yesterday, I found an amusing article about a woman named Jessica Baker, who was planning to attend a wedding with her husband.  Her mother was supposed to watch her kids, but something suddenly came up.  Since the wedding invitation had specified no children were allowed, Baker and her husband stayed home.  Two weeks later, Baker got a bill for $75.90... for the food she and her husband did not consume and a service and tax charge.

Now... having planned a wedding myself, I understand why the bride and groom might have felt this was an appropriate thing to do.  It costs them money when people RSVP for weddings and then don't attend them.  I had a few guests not attend my wedding and we had a lot of food leftover, all of which we had to pay for.  Also, though the caterer had said she would let us have some of the leftovers, she left her second in charge to handle my event because she wanted to attend a big football game.  And he would not pack any leftovers because he claimed that it was against food sanitation rules.  Technically, he was probably right, but his boss had told us a different story.  We had a lot of sparkling wine leftover too, because we were apparently not allowed to use our own, though his boss had said we could.  So yes, a lot of wasted money at a time when we could not afford to waste money.

But I still would never have thought to send a bill to the guests who didn't attend my wedding.  It would not have occurred to me.  It seems like a very cheap and tacky move, especially since the bride and groom had to pay regardless.  It would have been good if the people who missed the wedding had let the bride and groom know ahead of time, but sometimes shit happens and there's no chance.  I know one family didn't come to my wedding because several people were sick with a stomach virus.  In that case, it was a blessing that they didn't come.  If they had, shit really would have happened!

The above scenario, which does seem pretty tacky to me, was not the lowest in tacky behavior I've ever experienced.  That would be the Peace Corps Volunteer who charged everyone $10 a head to attend his wedding.  $10 does not seem like a lot of money to most people, but when you're only earning $5 a day, it is quite a chunk of the paycheck.  I wasn't really friends with the guy anyway, so I skipped his wedding.  I'm sure it was lovely, though.  Last I heard, he and his wife are still together, even though she was about half his age.

I think if I had to do it over again, I might have eloped... or had a much smaller wedding.  Weddings are fun, but they cost a lot of money that could be better spent on things like houses and bills.  And I think they cause awkwardness anyway... and lots of high expectations.

I don't remember the last wedding I attended.  It's been a long time.  Maybe ten years.  Suits me fine.


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