Thursday, October 8, 2015

I think I missed my calling...

Watching Diana Krall last night really made me wish I'd stuck with piano lessons when I was a kid.  Not that I think I'd be anywhere near as good as she is at tickling the ivories...  I just wish I'd studied music more when I was coming of age and my patience for learning was greater.  Kids tend to be a lot more pliable when it comes to learning new skills than crusty old farts my age do.

I really love to perform music, even though I get super nervous when I'm in front of a camera.  I love being on a stage and I enjoy entertaining.  I don't know how far I'd get as a pop star because I'm not exactly 20 years old and cute anymore.  Hell, I wasn't that cute when I was 20.  But I know I can sing and I sing very well.  More than one person has told me I should be on records.  I might not make $10, but I think it might have been what I was meant to do... besides writing this stupid blog, anyway.

Bill says he loves to watch me on stage because I light up.  It's something I do pretty naturally and I get a huge rush from it.  I also love finding new music, which I did last night as I listened to the concert.  I have many of Diana Krall's albums, but I don't have them all yet.  I'll probably download one or two today as I muse about what I should do with the rest of my pathetic life.

Don't mind me.  I'm just feeling middle aged and crisis-like.  I can't believe how old I am and how long it seemed to get to 21.  Once I got to 21, the years started flying by.  And now I realize that half my life is over and I haven't really done what I thought I would with it.  On the other hand, I have had some pretty extraordinary experiences that the average person will not have.  I shouldn't complain.  I have a very good life and I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by people who have helped me enjoy a very good life.

There's a "jam session" at Tommi's tonight.  I may or may not go.  It depends on how tired Bill is after last night.  I have to admit, though, a few minutes on stage is enough to make me smile for days.  I know I'm probably too much of an old fart to launch a career now.  Maybe if I looked like Susan Boyle and had a story more extraordinary than hers.  But the truth is, I'm not that special, except to a couple of people who happen to love me for exactly who I am.  I realize I'm very fortunate to have that, because not everyone does.

I have also been told by more than one person that I'm easy to talk to.  Maybe I should have been a micro social worker turned counselor.  Maybe I can still do that at some point.  Who knows?  I did tell Bill that if I ever went back to school, it would be to study a subject that I really love.  I think music is probably that subject, rather than psychology or social work...  besides, I have enough debt already.

Anyway, it's quarter 'til noon and I'm not dressed yet.  Guess I'll get the laundry, get dressed, have a little lunch, and see what else I can do with my day...


  1. I think you're right that the most painful aspects to learning an instrument are best experienced when a person is very young. I suspect i might have learned piano at any age I started it, as it came very easily to me, but I don't think I would stick with the violin if I had to learn it from scratch now. Hearing the squeaky sound would be too painful for me.

    Singing is something that doesn't come naturally to me. i have a very limited range in my chest voice, and my head voice isn't very big. Singing is much easier for you, my parents, and my brother, than it is for me..

  2. Yes... and if singing didn't come so easily for me, I definitely wouldn't do it. I didn't sing in front of anyone until I was 18, mainly because I am sensitive to bad singing and didn't want to sing poorly in front of others.

    I wish I had more of a work ethic.


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