Thursday, October 8, 2015

I think I missed my calling...

Watching Diana Krall last night really made me wish I'd stuck with piano lessons when I was a kid.  Not that I think I'd be anywhere near as good as she is at tickling the ivories...  I just wish I'd studied music more when I was coming of age and my patience for learning was greater.  Kids tend to be a lot more pliable when it comes to learning new skills than crusty old farts my age do.

I really love to perform music, even though I get super nervous when I'm in front of a camera.  I love being on a stage and I enjoy entertaining.  I don't know how far I'd get as a pop star because I'm not exactly 20 years old and cute anymore.  Hell, I wasn't that cute when I was 20.  But I know I can sing and I sing very well.  More than one person has told me I should be on records.  I might not make $10, but I think it might have been what I was meant to do... besides writing this stupid blog, anyway.

Bill says he loves to watch me on stage because I light up.  It's something I do pretty naturally and I get a huge rush from it.  I also love finding new music, which I did last night as I listened to the concert.  I have many of Diana Krall's albums, but I don't have them all yet.  I'll probably download one or two today as I muse about what I should do with the rest of my pathetic life.

Don't mind me.  I'm just feeling middle aged and crisis-like.  I can't believe how old I am and how long it seemed to get to 21.  Once I got to 21, the years started flying by.  And now I realize that half my life is over and I haven't really done what I thought I would with it.  On the other hand, I have had some pretty extraordinary experiences that the average person will not have.  I shouldn't complain.  I have a very good life and I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by people who have helped me enjoy a very good life.

There's a "jam session" at Tommi's tonight.  I may or may not go.  It depends on how tired Bill is after last night.  I have to admit, though, a few minutes on stage is enough to make me smile for days.  I know I'm probably too much of an old fart to launch a career now.  Maybe if I looked like Susan Boyle and had a story more extraordinary than hers.  But the truth is, I'm not that special, except to a couple of people who happen to love me for exactly who I am.  I realize I'm very fortunate to have that, because not everyone does.

I have also been told by more than one person that I'm easy to talk to.  Maybe I should have been a micro social worker turned counselor.  Maybe I can still do that at some point.  Who knows?  I did tell Bill that if I ever went back to school, it would be to study a subject that I really love.  I think music is probably that subject, rather than psychology or social work...  besides, I have enough debt already.

Anyway, it's quarter 'til noon and I'm not dressed yet.  Guess I'll get the laundry, get dressed, have a little lunch, and see what else I can do with my day...

2 comments:

  1. I think you're right that the most painful aspects to learning an instrument are best experienced when a person is very young. I suspect i might have learned piano at any age I started it, as it came very easily to me, but I don't think I would stick with the violin if I had to learn it from scratch now. Hearing the squeaky sound would be too painful for me.

    Singing is something that doesn't come naturally to me. i have a very limited range in my chest voice, and my head voice isn't very big. Singing is much easier for you, my parents, and my brother, than it is for me..

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  2. Yes... and if singing didn't come so easily for me, I definitely wouldn't do it. I didn't sing in front of anyone until I was 18, mainly because I am sensitive to bad singing and didn't want to sing poorly in front of others.

    I wish I had more of a work ethic.

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