Sunday, October 11, 2015

Getting lathered over leggings...

Once again, I'm sitting here at my desk feeling annoyed thanks to Facebook.  And I am more annoyed today because instead of going out and doing something fun, I've been sitting here watching Bill work on his project for his class and waiting for Aunt Flow to vacate the premesis.  To pass the time, I spent the day fucking around on Facebook and reading RfM.

Someone on RfM posted a link to this article.  Basically, it's a blog post about a guy who doesn't like seeing his 13 year old sister wearing leggings.  He decided to "teach" her a lesson by donning a pair himself.  I quipped that I thought the guy was an asshole, but I didn't elaborate as to why I felt that way.  Perhaps I should have taken the time, but I didn't feel the post warranted that much of my opinion.  In fact, in light of what just happened, I'm sorry I shared it at all.

Along comes one of my friends, someone I knew in college and like much of the time.  She has a good sense of humor and is usually nice enough.  However, I have noticed a trait in her personality that tends to rub me the wrong way.  Sometimes, she goes into "schooling mode" and climbs up on a soapbox.  And hey, we all do that sometimes... I do it too, though nowadays, I usually try to keep my soapbox moments confined to my blog or my own Facebook page.

I find that most people don't like to be "schooled", especially on their private Facebook pages.  Debate may be welcome sometimes, but it's not always.  Facebook is supposed to be fun.  And most people don't like to be "talked to" or "typed to" like they need special help.  I am especially one of those people, though I usually try to be somewhat nice when I protest.  Today, I confess that I slipped into bitch mode.

So anyway, my friend asks, "Why is he an asshole?"

Realizing that this has a tendency to turn into a debate that I don't feel like having, I write "He just is."

Another friend leaves a comment as to why she also doesn't like the piece and I add a comment agreeing with hers, along with a jokey quip about how a guy who dares to wear leggings ought to be "hung like a horse".  I hoped the subject would drop, but my friend continues...  She types that she "took it" as satire and then makes some statement about how she must be an asshole because she thinks leggings are sloppy, too.  So now I'm left thinking that not only is she implying that the guy's poorly written "piece" went over my head, but I'm also thinking rude thoughts about her, since she apparently agreed with the author of the "leggings piece".

I'm not one who likes it when people put thoughts in my head or words in my mouth.  I probably should have ignored her comment, but I could feel my internal irritation meter starting to rise...  So I wrote that the piece may or may not be satire.  I wasn't impressed with it and felt free to say so on my personal Facebook page.  I wouldn't necessarily think someone was an "asshole" for not liking leggings unless they decided to publicly chastise someone for it.  And I never identified anyone other than the author of the piece as an "asshole", but if the shoe fits, lace it up and wear it.

I knew it was a bitchy comment and, again, perhaps I should have written nothing.  I correctly surmised that it wouldn't go over well and there would be a defensive response.  I just get tired of people feeling like I need to be schooled on shit and feeling free to do it on my Facebook page.  Sometimes I take the "schooling sessions" better than other times.  Today, I wasn't in the mood and my friend wasn't picking up on subtle cues.  So I dropped a verbal hammer that she didn't appreciate, but I think she did ask for quite plainly.

She came back and left me a long ass explanation about how she was "joking" and I didn't pick up on her sarcasm.  Actually, I did pick up on it.  I knew she wasn't trying to out herself as an asshole and, honestly, I don't generally think she acts like one most of the time.  I just felt like exploiting the comment and "playing dumb".  Sarcasm can be funny, but it's usually intended to make someone else feel stupid.  If you employ sarcasm, especially when you are trying to school someone, you run the risk of them turning that shit around on you.  Don't call yourself an asshole jokingly unless you can handle the possibility of someone agreeing with you.

She followed that with a comment on how the guy has a "right" to his opinion, along with lengthy commentary on her thoughts on the stupid piece on leggings...  which maybe I might appreciate if she hadn't annoyed me by coming on my Facebook page and demanding an explanation as to why I thought some jerk who wore leggings to make a lame point about modesty to his teenaged sister is an asshole.  But, in retrospect, maybe I was wrong to post something I wasn't prepared to defend.    

I thought about responding to my friend's comment in kind, but decided it would only prolong the debate I wasn't interested in having.  So I simply wrote, "Thanks."  I probably shouldn't have even bothered with that.

I spend too much time on Facebook.  I think it's time to log off and go back to reading about Misty Copeland.



  1. I read the article or blog or whatever it was from the link at RFM. It made my own brother seem like much less of a jerk. My brother has never thought it necessary to monitor my clothing.

    I really like your sentence: "Don't call yourself an asshole jokingly unless you can handle the possibility of someone agreeing with you." It's a most profound statement, and should be printed on bumper stickers or perhaps cross-stitched on sofa pillows. I shall save it. You will be given proper credit in the likely event that I need to borrow it at some time.

    1. Bill liked that sentence too. Every once in awhile, I come up with something memorable. Other people later chimed in on that article and my schooling friend was well outnumbered. A lot of my other friends thought he was an asshole, too.

      Actually, having read it again, I think the guy is probably gay and uses teaching his sister an object lesson about modesty as a way to explain why he wants to wear leggings. I wouldn't say that would necessarily make him gay, except he also mentions Seven Brides For Seven Brothers, which is a rather homoerotic film and not one I would expect the typical guy to want to see. (although there are some awesome dance moves in that movie) Bill mentions that Mormons like old musicals, though, so maybe I'm wrong...

      On the other hand, if I'm right, then his little stunt makes him an even bigger asshole.


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