Saturday, October 3, 2015

Does a bear shit in the woods?

The answer is, of course, yes...

Are you familiar with the expression "Does a bear shit in the woods?"  Basically, it's akin to saying "of course".  Say, for instance, you've been hiking for four hours with no stops for food, rest, or water.  Your companion turns to you and asks, "Are you hungry?"

Your potential response could be "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

If you're like me, though, you will say "Hell yeah, I'm hungry!"  Or something similarly profane...  I'm not one for coming up with cutesy little expressions when I'm hungry.  In fact, a person who messes with me too much when I haven't had enough to eat is liable to come away verbally stung.

I'm not really sure what prompted this post this morning.  I have other things I could write about.  I just saw the above photo in my collection and decided I needed to write something about it.  It's not a bad way to get your creative juices going.

In fact, I remember back in the fourth grade, we had a writing assignment that involved looking at a picture and writing a story about it.  I think my picture was one of a woman and a small child.  So I came up with a story about the mother and child... or maybe it was a babysitter, a nurse, or a sister... or perhaps even the child's abductor.  The possibilities are endless.

When I was nine, though, I think I stuck with it being a photo of a mother and child.  I came up with a simple tale about who they were and what they were doing.  I could probably do something similar with the above photo.  Let's see...

The bear's name is Arnie and he's a pet.  A married couple named Jim and Mary own a house in the woods.  Arnie wandered into their yard when he was a cub.  Jim and Mary raised him because his mother never came back for him.  They are now friends.  Arnie likes to eat cherry pie and lets his human friends pet him on the head.  Sometimes, he even lets their two year old child sit on his back and takes her around the property.  Arnie's owners never worry about the bear mauling their child because he's never hungry.  They're always giving him cherry pie.  The above photo is Arnie doing what Arnie does best after he eats cherry pie.

See?  I made up that shit in about five minutes.  It was even kind of fun.  Will I write again later?  Does a bear shit in the woods?

For now, I have to go eat breakfast.

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