Monday, August 31, 2015

Wife won't...

Last night, while sitting on the futon with Bill and Arran, watching An Officer and A Gentleman for the umpteenth time, my attention started to wander.  I had my iPad and decided to do a search for "wife won't go to the doctor".  Yes, I am that wife, but I also wanted to see if there were complaints about it on the Internet.  The results I got from my search were interesting.  As soon as I typed in "wife won't", Google started suggesting stuff I might be looking for.  The first two suggestions were:

"Wife won't go down on me."

"Wife won't lose weight."

I wasn't really surprised by the suggestion to lose weight.  I was a little surprised by the one about oral sex, even though it was at the very top of the list.  I guess there are a whole lot of frustrated men out there who aren't being properly attended to.

Next on the suggestion list were:

"Wife won't talk to me."

"Wife won't get a job."

Some men would love it if their wives wouldn't talk to them, though I know it would distress my Bill greatly if I suddenly became silent.  "Wife won't get a job" can be a serious issue, especially in this day and age when two incomes are often needed to keep families financially afloat.  On the other hand, I don't work outside the home and haven't for a long time.

The next two were "Wife won't go to church" and "Wife won't get out of bed."

I know there are a lot of religious people out there.  I would have thought women would complain about lack of church attendance than men, though.  A lot of men would prefer to sit at home and watch football than get dressed up and sit through a couple of hours of religious indoctrination.  "Wife won't get out of bed" suggests depression more than it does laziness.

When I typed in "Wife won't g", I immediately got more suggestions.  They, too, had to do with oral sex!

"My wife won't go down on me."

"How to get my wife to go down on me."

My God!  This blowjob dearth sounds like a really serious problem if you pay attention to Google.  What follows is a slew of articles about this earth shattering issue.

"Should I divorce my wife if she won't go down on me?"

"5 reasons why she won't go down on you"

"How can I make my wife give me head?"

"My wife used to go down on me a lot, now nothing."

If I type "Wife won't go," I get...

"Wife won't go on top."

"Wife won't go to counseling."

It's not until I type the whole sentence, "Wife won't go to the doctor", that I start finding things that are relevant.  However, most of the articles I find are about wives trying to get their husbands to go to the doctor.

So... what can we conclude about this little experiment?  There are a lot of men out there who are dying for their wives to go down on them.  And there are a lot of women trying to get their husbands to go to the doctor.  Interesting.

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