Friday, August 7, 2015

Godawful singing...

I am in a pretty good mood this morning.  Yesterday, the vet told Bill that the mass we had aspirated on Arran last week was a fatty lipoma.  Not that I want him to have a lipoma, you see... I was just afraid it was another mast cell tumor.  Anyway, for now he's okay, so I'll take it and enjoy the weekend.

Last weekend, I posted the following clip on Facebook...

Naomi Shure, 2010's Miss Lake Dardanelles of Arkansas, obliterates "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going"....

Naomi Shure's performance is stunning.  As in it's stunningly horrible.  And yet, look at her trying to sell it with gusto.  I cannot understand why she thought this was an appropriate song to sing.  She doesn't have a horrible voice, but even talented singers have trouble pulling this off.  Even if she had sung this beautifully, she doesn't capture the tragic and desperate mood of this number, which is all about a woman begging not to be cast out.  Naomi is prancing around the stage with a big smile and turning what I am sure she meant to be a stellar performance into comedy gold.

But while Naomi butchered the hell out of that song, she is not the only one to wipe out on it...  Behold.

Here's Nancy Wilton playing Effie in a local production of Dreamgirls.  I don't think she's as terrible as Naomi is.  At least she can act and has the right mood for the song.  It's just that she and the cast mates don't quite manage this big number.  It's not a song everyone can do.

And here is Miss Arkansas 1994, singing a perfectly boring version of this song...

She doesn't mess up the notes as much, but she has absolutely no conviction.  It sounds like she took some Quaaludes before taking the stage.  It's like the Karen Carpenter version set to Muzak.  Boring as hell.

Even Yoko Ono tried it.

I have a hard time listening to this stuff.  That's part of the reason I don't watch a lot of talent shows.

Some of this makes my ears bleed.

Maybe later I'll be back...  I need coffee.


  1. They're all bad, but Miss Lake Dardanelles is the funniest.

  2. It is pretty hilarious. I need to find more like it.

  3. what is it about and the arkansans and this song? Did it suddenly become the new state song of arkansas/ if so, we need a pitchy a capella rendition of the duggars tacking it.
    S"eriously, while her affect is almost the opposite of her commadre from
    arkansas, she's really not much better. Her 'non, non, non, no.s' are even funnier than Miss Lake dardanellles' are. she get's really pitchy on a not she holds out from midway through 1;48 or so until maybe 1;52. I'm not sure the two arkansans are not actually the same person with dissociate identity disorder. Sybil Isabel Dorsettvs, Sybil Ann Dorsett, vs. vicky and all those others. Buth then, didn't some of those personalities turn out to be the work of the therapist. And then there's always eve whay and Eve black, although I think that was fictional. and i think every soap opera has had at least one case of a person with the disorder.

    My mom says she's never known anyone in real life to have been given the dignosis, thugh she's been sitting in Iep meetings where one of the parents vacillates to the degree that she wonders if dissociative personality disorder might have been at work.

    He you ever seen a bona fide diagnosed case of it?

    Anywya, if it's for real, it might be a t work in the Arkansas beauty pageant lady r ladies. still, I did like the 'no, o, no, no's' they were funny. And Miss Lake dardanelles was trying to make it sound like "Don't rain on My parade' or tha song about 'Everyone here, kindly step to the rea and let a winner lead the way.' True artistry at work, it is, in all three cases.

    Glad it was just a fatty lipoma. Could've been better, but also could've been a lot worse.

    1. A lot of white women have no soul and sound ridiculous when they try this song. I have seen other people try to do it and it just doesn't work. They can't relate to it.

      No, I've never seen a case of dissociative identity disorder.

  4. My mom is a talented singer and she would suck on this song.

    i wondered about that disociative personality disorder thing. My mom's only read about it -- usually in fiction -- or seen it on TV. I guess it was popularizedl in the book - later turned into a movie with Joanne Woodward -- caled "The Three faces of Eve." Interesting that Joanne Woodward wuld go on to play the therapist in (made for tV) Sybil. Was it a movie or a miniseries? The concept was really big in soaps for awhile, right along with the identical twins that no one knew existed. My mom thinks the first soap opera case of it was on One Life to Live with Sweet Polly Purebread Meredith Lord's twin sister Vicki, She says. she was pretty little, and her older sisters were totally into the soaps. When my grandpa was home, they had to watch them on a cheap little portable TV with rabbit ear antennae because my grandfather couldn;t stand to see or hear them because he though they were so stupid. This was in the days before VHS or Beta, so they only got to watch them in summers, on school holidays, or when someone was sick. If my mom was sick, the older girls would pay her to watch them and tell them after school what happened.

  5. I actually saw Sybil in a high school psychology class. It took days to get through it.

    My high school psych teacher was a big fan of movies.


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