Sunday, August 30, 2015

Church crotch...

In light of all the Josh Duggar sex scandals that have come to surface recently, I thought I would write a little about my own experiences with church.  Yes, there is a correlation between church and sex for me.  Actually, I should clarify.  I worked at a church camp for two summers.  I was the cook, which meant that I wasn't dealing directly with children.  I did have several teenagers working with me, though.  They were mostly boys.  I used to call them my "heathens".

Working with the heathens was a bit challenging at first.  The first year, it was just the three guys, one of whom was my assistant.  It took awhile before we became friends and worked together as a team.  I eventually came to like them very much, though, because they were a lot of fun.  And though they were a bit obnoxious, so was I.  The second year, it was the same three guys and a girl.  The girl was kind of a fifth wheel and wasn't much fun.

The camp where I worked was Presbyterian, which means it was fairly easy going.  Yes, we had prayers and vespers.  Of course, we sang songs around the campfire that had to do with Jesus.  But it was pretty laid back in terms of what people wore, what people talked about, and our activities.  There weren't any weird or intense discussions about faith.  There were no sexist rules about who was in charge.  It was mostly good, clean fun in a rustic setting.  I can honestly say I loved working there.  In fact, I even played spin the bottle for the first time ever while working at that camp... when I was 20 and 21 years old.

I used to cuss a lot in the kitchen.  I mostly got away with it, except for the second summer, when the teenaged girl was working with me.  She used to show up in the kitchen at the same time I did, early every morning.  It drove me nuts.  I tried to tell her I didn't need her that early, but unlike the boy heathens, she was intent on "impressing" me.  She was a bit intense and mixed up and she eventually ended up quitting; but not before she ratted everyone out for having a good time after hours.  We all used to get together in the hogans and play cards... and the odd drinking game.  On her way out, she told our boss.  He was pissed off, but really just yelled at us more than anything else.  Years later, he officiated at my wedding.

Three years ago, I shared this picture on Facebook.  Those two guys were two of my "heathens".

I have read a lot about Mormon church camp.  I never went to one, obviously, but I have heard that they can be pretty intense.  Everybody has to dress appropriately and act reverently.  There's no off color silliness or horsing around.  You'd never see two big guys like these two, jumping into the pool while grabbing their crotches.  In fact, I have heard that Mormon church camp (and I know there is a special name for it but I'm too lazy to go searching for it) is more about religious indoctrination than fun with nature.  But as I haven't been to a Mormon church camp, I won't speculate... too much, anyway.

Instead, I'll just look at the above photo and be grateful I was raised a Presbyterian.  What fun!  Sometimes I wish I could go back to these days, where I might see a couple of fun loving blokes jumping into an above ground pool while grabbing their nuts.  Try not to think too hard about the fact that they worked in the kitchen with me.  

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