Saturday, August 1, 2015

25 years ago today...

Picture it.  The year was 1990.  My husband, Bill, was living in Germany for the first time.  His ex wife, a woman I refer to as "twatbag", had left her first husband (who was also posted in Germany) and found Bill.  Bill, ex, and ex's ex had all known each other in high school.  Ex's ex had run into Bill on a flight to the States.  He told twatbag that he'd run into Bill.  Twatbag then decided to look up Bill and put the moves on him.  That all led up to their decision to marry in some border town in Denmark on August 1, 1990.

What was I doing on August 1, 1990?  Well, I was preparing to go to college as a freshman.  I was doing last minute shopping for dorm decor and working at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia. I was blissfully unaware that my future husband was getting married to the woman who would wreak havoc on his life.

Now, August 1990 wasn't all smooth sailing for me.  I ended up having to move from my dorm room exactly one week after I moved in because I had Jabba the Hut with braces for a roomie.  She and her yucky hussy friend from across the hall basically kicked me out of the room after making it plain that they would make my life a living hell.  But that was pretty much nothing compared to what Bill was dealing with.  I moved across campus and ended up making some lifelong friends.  And Jabba the Hut and her trashy fraternity ho friend both ended up flunking out of school.

Bill says there was a little voice in his head warning him not to marry twatbag.  She was a hot mess.  She had a toddler son and a shitload of debt.  She had no job and no job prospects.  She was mean to him and a professional league guilt tripper.  He ignored all of that and married her anyway.  They fought on their wedding day.  Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait.

Bill and twatbag spent almost ten years together.  They went through bankruptcy, foreclosure, and poverty.  Bill was working very hard but getting nowhere.  Still, it took him almost ten years to say "uncle" and get a divorce.  Once he did that, life improved dramatically.  I'm proud to say that I've been here the whole time to witness it.

Best kids ever.

Facebook has an application called "On This Day".  Looking back a year ago, I see that I commemorated this day.  But I had only mentioned it because Bill reminded me of it.  I had forgotten that August 1 is a day of infamy in his life.  I forgot this year, too.  Bill reminded me just before he left to go to the store.  However, he was able to do so with a laugh.  He can look back on those painful years with twatbag and see how they led to something so much better.

Twenty-five years later, he is once again living in Germany.  However, he is now with me and we're ridiculously compatible.  He is in a job he enjoys and his bosses appreciate him.  As a matter of fact, he will get a $10,000 retention bonus as an incentive to stay here another year.  Since we like living in Germany, that is icing on the cake.  Don't throw us in the briar patch!  The extra money will go a long way toward paying for our next Scotland cruise, paying down debt, or paying for my teeth.  He doesn't have contact with the two daughters he made with twatbag, but he also has no contact with his ex wife.  He doesn't have to listen to her mean spirited barbs or tolerate her abusive bullshit.

Bill doesn't have to worry about having enough money to pay his bills.  He has plenty of money now and can live peacefully and comfortably in a place he loves.  There are no little voices in his head warning him... no red flags... no walking on eggshells.  And, best of all, he's no longer LDS, so he can drink what he wants, wear boxer shorts, and spend his Sundays relaxing and enjoying his life instead of sitting in church and assorted boring meetings.  Tomorrow is fast and testimony Sunday.  He can eat, drink, be merry, and hike with me to Wurmlinger Chapel, weather permitting of course.  

One year ago tomorrow, Bill and I boarded a flight out of Houston and flew back to Germany, where we are feeling very much at home.  Life is pretty good, twenty-five years later.

Real love.



  1. Bill is a great example that it CAN get better and that one does not have to give up on love just because of one really horrible relationship.

    1. Yes... and honestly, I am delighted his ex dumped him. I'm sorry the kids chose to, because they have missed out. But he's a wonderful guy and he deserves to be with someone who loves him.


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