Friday, July 3, 2015

What not to do when your wedding is cancelled by your murderous brother...

Poor Amber Roof.  She was supposed to marry her fiance Michael Tyo on June 21, 2015.  They had a nice wedding planned and lots of money had gone into the making of their big day.  Unfortunately, Amber's brother, Dylann Roof, had other plans.  On June 17, 2015, Dylan Roof went to Emmanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina and allegedly killed nine people in a racially charged massacre.  Dylann Roof now sits in jail while his sister is left dealing with the aftermath of her ruined wedding.  What's a girl to do?

I know!  Make a GoFundMe page!  And Amber did... It was up for five days and actually got about $1600 in donations before she took the page down because she was being inundated with nasty comments.  No one even cared that Amber offered to donate 10% of the proceeds to the church her brother shot up.

Now... lest anyone think I have no empathy for Amber Roof's plight, let me assure you that I know how much weddings can cost.  I planned one myself.  There's a lot that goes into it.  And people take off work, buy gifts, and travel so they can attend someone's nuptials.  I totally get that.

At the same time, putting up a GoFundMe page to recoup the cost of your wedding ruined by your murderer brother and asking for help to pay for a honeymoon seems to be the height of tackiness.  I mean, I get that she was looking forward to her wedding and all, but didn't she have a clue that putting up a public page like that would backfire?

Perhaps she didn't.  Though the page has now been taken down, many news sites have included the text of her proposal and she doesn't appear to be the most educated person on the planet.  It seems to be a better course of action would be to ask people who actually know the couple to contribute if they want to... but then, many of those people had probably already contributed in the form of wedding gifts or donations.  

My initial reaction to this story was disgust.  After thinking about it for awhile, I am less disgusted and appalled and more flabbergasted at this woman's nerve... and complete lack of situational awareness.  For weeks, thanks to Dylann Roof, the country has been embroiled in controversy over the Confederate flag over Roof's white supremacist ideals.  Nine people were killed leaving behind countless friends and family who are in mourning.  Even the Dukes of Hazzard was affected by Roof's actions.  And all Amber Roof can think about is her damn wedding and honeymoon?

Maybe this would have been just slightly more appropriate had she waited a few months for the furore to die down.  As it is, asking for money so soon after her brother's crimes is the ultimate in bad taste and stupidity.  And it's definitely not going to help her marriage get off to a good start.


  1. I'm sorry for her, but she should have eaten the cost of the wedding. When it's your own close relative who does the killing and a lot more people than just your loved one were killed, you keep a low profile except perhaps to isue a statement expressing how sorry your familt is for the tragedt caused by your relative.

    1. You would not believe the argument I had on Facebook about this...

  2. Am I the only one who would have just gone ahead with the wedding? I have a jerk brother too, though he's never murdered anyone as far as I know, and no way would I let his stupid shit stop me from living my life. Just saying.

    1. I agree with you. She chose not to have the wedding.

  3. i was mistaken. I thought her betrothed was one of the ones killed, and the wedding was off because the groom was dead. with that being not the case and the only contingency being that it her brother was the killer 9and perhaps the church was the venue), I believe she has no ground on which to stand.

    Let's tak it one step further. Say, god forbid, that Matthew crashed into a tree two days before mty wedding. my choice would be to have the wedding anyway, or eat the cost of the big ticket goods and services and have a smaller-scale service later.

    Now if Matthew killed my grooom in the passenger seat along with him, again god forbid, it would be a different story, though i'd still eat the cost rather than set up an account.

    If Matthew robbed a bankk and shot a few people in the process right beforre my wedding, I'd go ahead with the wedding and find another usher who fit into the tux that had been ordered for him.

    When JFK, jR and his wife and sister-in-law were killed in the plane flight traveling from long island to Cape Cod, the wedding was cancelled, and she had a small destination service a month or so later. of course the kennedys could have affirded whatever they wanted, but that's probably fairly typical when a close family member dies.

    When a bride or groom's sibling commits a Columbine, however, be sad for the victims and ashamed of your errant relative, but don't ask the public, even voluntarily, to fund your ceremony postponement if you wish to appear to have any class. Setting up an account 100% for the victims' families would have been so much more caring and selfless.

    1. Well, I responded in a follow up post...


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