Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Goldie Hawn's snot nosed brats...

Forgive me...  Oliver and Kate Hudson, adult children of Goldie Hawn and Bill Hudson, are certainly not kids anymore.  Maybe I shouldn't call them snot nosed brats... although I do think Oliver Hudson's recent Father's Day stunt was an example of snot nosed brat like behavior.  It pissed me off to read about it.

Like so many other fathers out there, Bill Hudson has a rocky relationship with his two eldest children.  He has been estranged from them for many years, though unlike my Bill, Bill Hudson has had the chance to see them over the years.  Perhaps it's because they're all in the public eye?

Anyway, on Father's Day, Oliver Hudson posted a photo of himself and his sister, Kate, with their biological father with the caption Happy Abandonment Day @katehudson.  They both then posted intimate photos of themselves with Hawn's ex lover, Kurt Russell, addressing him as Pa.  Naturally, all of this shit quickly went viral and Bill Hudson's phone started ringing off the hook, ruining the Father's Day he was celebrating with his youngest child.  Hudson responded by saying that his eldest kids are now "dead to him" and he no longer considers them his children.  He adds that they should refrain from using his last name.  At least my Bill's kids got their names changed.  I'm glad I don't share a last name with them anymore because they are a disgrace.

I always cringe when I see these kinds of posts because I know the comments are going to be brutal.  I was surprised when I saw many comments supporting Bill Hudson, perhaps even as many supporting the Hudson siblings.

The first article I read about this was on Yahoo!, so it was pretty short on details.  I sought out the longer Daily Mail article about the Hudsons.  As I read about Bill Hudson's relationship with Goldie Hawn and Oliver and Kate, I couldn't help but relate.  The pain he described reminded me a lot of my own husband's pain as his kids abandoned him in favor of their mother's third husband.  I can't tell you how many times I have listened to my husband sob over his lost kids.  And maybe while it would be more adult for me to simply try to understand that they have been manipulated, I can't help but be pissed off.  

This isn't the first time I've read about Bill Hudson and Oliver and Kate.  I think the strife has been going on for a long time.  And frankly, while I never want to hear about a parent disowning their kids, I completely understand why Bill Hudson said what he said.  When you have two kids who refuse to have anything to do with you, treat you with contempt, and smear you publicly, it gets progressively more difficult to turn the other cheek and continue to take the high road.  Moreover, Oliver and Kate Hudson are now well into adulthood.  I might expect this kind of behavior from a teenager, but adult children in their 30s should behave better.  They should have taken this dispute private.

I realize I look at this from the perspective of someone who is married to a guy whose kids disowned him.  I have seen firsthand how hurtful that behavior is.  I don't necessarily condone Bill Hudson's decision to publicly disown his two oldest kids, but I do understand why he did it.  My guess is that he just wants the pain to stop.  He wants peace.  What Oliver Hudson did was aggressive and unnecessary and completely classless.

I read that Bill Hudson removed all the pictures of Oliver and Kate from his home, along with other reminders of them.  I can relate to that.  In 2013, when we moved to Texas, I stumbled across a box of photos of my husband Bill's ex and the ex kids.  I also found a couple of sweet cards Bill wrote to her, promising that he would change and be a better husband to her.  The cards made me feel sick because I know he wrote them in a desperate bid to keep his marriage going.  I also know that he wasn't the one who needed to change his behavior.  

Despite my husband's best efforts and attempts to make his ex wife happy, the whole thing fell apart anyway, and all Bill had left to show for it was a box of shitty memories.  I am proud to report that like Bill Hudson, Bill threw it all away.  He also told his father that he's not interested in hearing reports about his daughters on the rare occasions they make contact, mainly because his father can't seem to refrain from telling Bill that his daughters don't want to talk to or about him-- but they do apparently still want to maintain contact with part of Bill's family.  I wouldn't say Bill considers his kids dead to him, but he no longer hangs on to the hope that they can have a normal, loving relationship.  And it's not because he didn't want to have a relationship; this was entirely their decision and their doing.  I know Bill is not the only man in this situation.

Parental alienation is a terrible thing for everyone involved.  On one level, I feel sorry for kids like Kate and Oliver and Bill's former daughters who are caught in the middle of a divorce.  On another level, I think targeted parents of parental alienation have the right to reclaim their lives, especially when the divorce has been final for decades as it has between Goldie Hawn and Bill Hudson.  Parents shouldn't have to tolerate being publicly harassed, belittled, and bullied by their estranged children.

Oliver Hudson is a grown man who needs to get the fuck over himself.  If he wants to be Kurt Russell's son, he certainly has the means to make that happen legally.  I would suggest he pursue an adoption or a legal name change and leave Bill Hudson alone.  If he and Kate appreciate Kurt so much as their "Pa", they should simply be grateful and stop with the inflammatory Instagram photos of Bill Hudson.  If Bill Hudson is such a shitty father and terrible person, why would they want to engage him with nasty Instagram posts?  My guess is that it's because deep down, they still care.  Enough is enough, though.  Shit or get off the pot.  Either hash it out and make amends or just go the fuck away.  


"U-G-L-Y and you ain't got no alibi, you ugly!  What? What?  You UGLY!"



4 comments:

  1. I know there are actual deadbeat parents out there, but Bill Hudson, from the evidence, didn't seem to be one of them. Why couldn't Kate and Oliver simply have been grateful to have had nurturing relationships with two father figures? I think sometimes in the world of major money and celebrity, sometimes the rift is over something as simole as a parent not kicking in with the Porsche the kid thought he or she deserved in a 16th birthday.

    Stephanie March, Law & Order actress whom I actually like in spite of this situation, issued a tweet wishing her stepfather a happy father's day and commenting that it takes more than a sperm donor to make a father. I don't know anything about Stephanie March's home life. I don't even know how old she was when her parents split, though it sounded like bio dad didn't provide too much financial support when her mom was single though he was from a wealthy ranching family. Maybe her biological father really was a deadbeat. Or maybe he was mentally ill or physically ill. Or maybe her mom turned the kids against him. Regardless, IF it was a fair message to her stepfather, it would have been very appropriate in a privately-sent card, but not on the twitter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't even get me started on people who insist on referring to deadbeat dads as "sperm donors". Actual sperm donors should be respected for providing a service, not used as a euphemism for irresponsible parents who don't financially support their kids.

      I don't know what kind of father Bill Hudson is, but he does apparently have relationships with his other three kids. I think if he were really a dickhead, his other kids would likely be estranged. I read that his marriage to Cindy Williams was really stressed by the fact that Goldie was so shitty about coparenting. Maybe that's what ultimately led to Hudson's second divorce. I can tell you it's stressful, even when your husband's kids are so alienated that they don't communicate.

      Anyway, Bill Hudson may have been a terrible father for all I know. I still think what Oliver Hudson did was shitty.

      Delete
    2. I know men why neglect their first set of kids and pour all attention on their second set. It's like since they are no longer with their mother....forget them. My brother being one. And the first set REALLY wanted a relationship with their father. Personally, I think Bill Hudson was jealous of Russell. Old man with a 10 yo kid. All over the place.

      Delete
    3. Not always. Sometimes Mom pushes Dad away because she wants him out of the picture. It happened to my husband, who was his first wife's second husband. It also happened to her first husband. And if she divorces a third time, you can bet she'll expect her third set of kids to reject their father, too.

      Delete

Comments on older posts will be moderated until further notice.