Saturday, May 23, 2015

How to use a toilet...

So I think we've determined that the upstairs toilet in our house is what's causing the plumbing problems.  The plumber cleaned out the blockage.  Afterwards, the landlords took me to our upstairs bathroom and gave me a lesson/lecture on how to use the toilet.  Imagine being almost 43 years old and being taught how to operate a German toilet.  It was quite a ridiculous scene.

Apparently, the toilet in this house is a "water saver" model.  The tank is made of plastic and you have to hold a button down for the water to swirl.  If you don't hold it down long enough, the shit and toilet paper doesn't go all the way down.  Of course, you don't have the ability to see that when you're doing your business.  You find out three months later when you end up with a big clog.  So, even though we have a "water saver" toilet in the house, we have been advised not to try to save water.  Water is cheaper than plumbing bills.

I understand the landlords being upset that this has happened three times.  They say none of the other Americans who have been here before ever had this issue.  On the other hand, I have been successfully using toilets for over 40 years and I've never had this problem, either.  Moreover, we don't enjoy having the sewer line clog any more than they like calling and paying for the plumber.  Bill told them he'd pay the bill this time.  Hopefully, that will chill them out.  I guess we'll also try different toilet paper and using a lot more water when we flush.  Maybe that will end our shitty problem.

Last night, we went out to dinner and drank lots of wine.  Then we came home and passed out.  This morning, on the suggestion of some online friends, Bill went to Google images, typed his name and the word "meme".  He was supposed to post the first meme that came up.  The first meme that came up was this...  He refused to post it online because it's so offensive.  Unfortunately, I have no qualms about being offensive.

This is pretty sick gallows humor...  and yet, much to our shame, we both laughed.  Actually, it took me a couple of minutes to get it because I was half asleep.  When I did get it, I was shocked.

I tried the same trick with my name.  My result wasn't quite as offensive.

Although, this probably is the truth... I do have my "bitch" moments.

We have beautiful weather today.  Hopefully, we will go do something fun and I can forget about the backed up sewer line.



  1. I love your blog and I admire your sense of humour. I know how you feel though, landlords are quick to blame tenants for any issues that arise. As you said, you've been using toilets for 40 years! Water saving toilets can be temperamental though especially in terms of blockages. I can picture you getting lectured about the toilet, very funny!

    1. This is a spam comment, but just this once, I'm not going to delete it. Flattery will get you everywhere.