Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Talk about a sexual buzzkill...

As some of you know, I really enjoy silly PSAs.  I found this beaut yesterday.  Apparently, this was an "extra" on an adult film from the 1980s.



Love how this lawyerly lady explains what masturbation is and why it's not a bad thing...

Notice how covered up and professional she is as she explains the video.  I would think such a sobering introduction would be quite a buzzkill before viewing an explicit film.  Keep in mind that back in the 80s, we didn't have DVDs.  This "intro" no doubt showed at the beginning of a VHS tape, which unless you stop it before it rewinds all the way, means you get to hear this very serious message before you get your rocks off.

No doubt, this introduction is supposed to be a disclaimer that protects the filmmaker in case someone thinks his or her film is too smutty.  Notice how she emphasizes that the film is fictional and the storyline is based on fantasy, not reality.  I think maybe this would be more effective if the lady was dressed more provocatively as she delivers her lectures on masturbation and responsible adult fun and fantasy.  Or perhaps if this was shown as she spoke...


Yes, it's a lot of meat...  I was eyeing it lustfully yesterday, which can only mean Aunt Flow is about to visit.  No, I didn't actually eat this.  I just wanted savory meat yesterday.  Damn hormones.  Today, I will no doubt want chocolate and red wine.


Mmmm....  Notice how phallic the sausages are.


Okay... enough with the food porn.

Speaking of meat and appropriate places to serve it, I went ahead and ordered us an "Eckbank Gruppe" last night.  Basically, it's a cute little German breakfast nook.  The one I got is pretty basic and not that big.  I bought it because I've been wanting one a long time and the cheap table and chairs Bill bought when he was still single doesn't cut it when we have company.  Since my mom plans to visit this summer, I wanted something that was a little more solid and attractive.


This is what I ordered... from Amazon.de, no less.

It looks pretty solid.  I might have preferred differed seat pads, but for the price, I can live with stripes.  As it is, I paid an extra 20 euros for blue pads instead of red ones.  This was a bit over $760, which is more than what I paid for the rickety particle board table and chairs we left in the States.  I like my pub table, but it was too big to bring with us and, in fact, has a bad leg.  It was time for a new table.  Hopefully, I will like this.  I'd like to stain it a darker color at some point.

Perhaps I'll be back later with something to complain about.  For now, I'll think about how nice it'll be to have a real table and chairs again... although it will be another month before my new furniture arrives.   

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