Thursday, March 5, 2015

Accidentally asking for pussy...

Today's post may seem a bit random and vulgar; but I pray you'll bear with me for just a moment.  Today I'm inspired by something kind of odd.

Last month on the Stuttgart Vents Facebook page, someone posted a picture they'd lifted from Stuttgart Friends, the local Facebook page for English speaking expats.   On Stuttgart Friends, there are mostly military and government folks, but we have other Americans in the group, too.  Stuttgart Vents is where those of us who are snarky congregate.  If you post something people consider *dumb* on the Stuttgart Friends page, you may end up being "vented" about on the Vents page.

Anyway, someone on the main Facebook page was trying to sell a pair of boots.  She said she'd paid $265 for them with a military discount.  Though the boots appeared to be a bit "well loved", she was asking $240 for them.  That's taking into account that they were supposedly originally retail priced at $295 (way too much in my humble opinion, but there's no accounting for taste).  So someone lifted the picture and put it on the Vents page, wanting to know why anyone would pay so much for what he considered an "ugly" pair of boots.

People began to comment.  I was among the first.  All I said was that I wouldn't pay so much for boots, especially a pair that had been "loved".  I might make an exception for riding boots.  I also said they kind of reminded me of the boots Prince used to wear when he was doing his Purple Rain thing in 1984.  Other people were more more critical and snarky.  The thread eventually died, though not before someone mentioned that the boots had been offered for sale several times over the past year or so.

Well, apparently, the owner of the boots recently became a member of the Stuttgart Vents page.  She found the old post and resurrected it because she was offended that people were snarking about her boots.  A drama ensued, during which the boots owner said that she was trying to sell her boots because she is hoping to raise money to deal with her infertility issues.  Having had that issue myself (but not being distressed about it enough to try to raise $$ by selling my possessions), I offered some empathy to the lass.  I say "lass", because she seems pretty young.  

Of course, our group is very snarky and once you are the subject of a Vents post, you run the risk of becoming fodder for a running joke.  I'm afraid this lady and her boots will be the butt of Vents jokes for awhile.  Aside from being snarky, the group tends to be a bit vulgar, too...  Indeed, someone posted this photo on Vents yesterday.


And someone said they knew of a pair of boots that would go with it...

Yes, they were referring to the notorious boots offered for sale again and again on Stuttgart Friends.  I  had also posted the following article about a woman suing a restaurant for $100,000 because her Valentine's Day was allegedly ruined by a restaurant.  Someone said that maybe the woman's husband (who did not join his wife for dinner on Valentine's Day, thus is just as culpable if not moreso than the restaurant is for "ruining" Valentine's Day) should have bought her a pair of boots as a consolation gift.

I don't know why, but that suddenly reminded me of the fact that the Armenian slang term for "pussy", meaning the vulgar euphemism for vagina, is dangerously close to the English word "boots".  Actually, to pronounce the Armenian word correctly, you have to sort of combine the "b" and "p" sounds, then add the "oots" to the end.  It makes sense, since to form the "b" and "p" sounds, you move your lips in the same way, only one sound is voiced (b) and the other sound is unvoiced (p).  Try it and you'll see what I mean.  

Incidentally, if you want to learn more about voiced and unvoiced sounds, I recommend reading about Arthur Lessac.  I learned about this stuff when I took a stage voice course in college; yet again, proving how "overeducated" I really am.  

Anyway, the sound is not *exactly* the same as "boots", but it's really close-- such that if you ask a shoe salesperson in Armenia for "boots", you need to be careful.  Otherwise, you might accidentally be asking for pussy.  People may give you weird looks.  I learned the term for "pussy" the way I learned most Armenian swear words-- completely by accident.  I can't tell you how many times, when I was living in Armenia, I accidentally swore at people or used profanity when I was really trying to say something entirely different.  Of course, in English speaking countries, I swear entirely on purpose.   

For your information, this is how the Armenian word for "pussy" is written.  պուց

More commentary ensued.  I noted that the German word "Boot" means boat.  I've noticed that it's not as easy to accidentally swear in German as it is in Armenian.

It's amazing how one person's relentless desire to sell ugly used boots can lead to so many tangents.  But then, anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis already knows that I have way too much time on my hands and come up with all sorts of goofy shit to write about.  


Hee hee hee...
   

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