Sunday, February 22, 2015

Vagina yogurt...

Okay, this is really pretty gross; but since someone alerted me to it right before breakfast and, well, I have been known to write about things like guys with two dicks and women who knit from their vaginas, I figure I might as well comment on the woman who made yogurt from her vaginal secretions.  Yes, if you managed to follow that very long first sentence, you read that right.  

Cecilia Westbrook, a MD/PhD student at the University of Wisconsin, got the idea to make yogurt with her vaginal secretions while discussing with a friend the probiotic properties of a vagina.  Apparently-- though I was blissfully unaware of this before this morning-- there are a lot of recipes that call for semen and people have even written cookbooks.  Strangely enough, though you can find a recipe for a mojito that uses cum, the ladies found nothing on Google indicating that anyone had ever tried to use vaginal secretions in food.

Westbrook determined that if men can use cum to make mixed drinks or desserts, women should be able to use their secretions in the same way.  Westbrook even took pains to turn her culinary exploration of vaginal secretions into a scientifically sound experiment.  Noting that the vagina is full of lactobacillus and that is what is used to culture cheese, milk, and yogurt, Westbrook figured that at least theoretically, this experiment of hers would work.  She also surmised that the yogurt would even be good for her digestive health.

I'm not going to rehash all that was in the original article about this phenomenon, except to point out that besides lactobacillus, the vagina is also home to a lot of other organisms, some of which are harmful.  It's also dangerously close to the asshole, where all the nasty, stinky stuff comes out after the body is through with it.  I'm not really a big fan of yogurt to start with, though I recognize it has its merits.  In Armenia, it was touted as a cure for everything.  Of course, now that I've read about cooking with cum and vaginal secretions, I'm going to think of that whenever I see yogurt.  So much for enjoying my next Greek meal with t'zatziki!

Here's a Dannon yogurt ad from 1977 where very old people from the Republic of Georgia tout how good yogurt is for the body...

As for the cookbooks that call for semen, I haven't actually used or even read one yet.  In fact, I just learned of their existence today.  However, they get good ratings on and may be good to  look at if only for the hysterical reviews some people have written.  I might be tempted to order either of the two books below, but I'm definitely not brave enough to try any of the recipes.  I am pretty certain my weak stomach would prevent me from taste testing a "Macho Mojito", even though I happen to like mojitos as a general rule.

A video on how to make a "Macho Mojito" with semen...

Bon appetit!


  1. Oh dear lord......I don't feel too well after reading this!

  2. I didn't mke it even through the first paragraph because i threw up for the next five minutes. Fortunate;y there was a trash receptacle next to my bed.

    1. Aw... I'm sorry, Alexis. I'll find something less nasty to write about today.


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