Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Ridiculous post #2...

Well, I'm about to ask for it, but I can't resist.  Today on Huffington Post, there's an interesting article by a woman calling herself Sloane Bradshaw.  The article is called "What One Scorned Wife Wants the Other Woman To Know".  Now, I have never actually been the "other woman", although my husband's former wife probably thinks of me that way.  I didn't meet Bill in person until he had been divorced for almost a year.  Prior to that, we were strictly Internet friends.  But as someone who came after a bitter ex wife, I wish to respond to Ms. Bradshaw's list of demands to the "other woman".  Click the link for the whole article.  My rebuttals will be in red... and they are a bit tongue in cheek.  In reality, I'm not this callous and bitchy.

1.  I'm still married to the guy. So keep your butt out of our business until we can finalize our divorce. And yes, that includes our child visitation schedule, thankyouverymuch.

Fair enough.  That goes both ways, though.  You don't get to have an opinion about our relationship, either, especially after the divorce, thankyouverymuch.  

2.  Don't insist on reading all the texts I send him. It's stalkery and sad.

I'll be happy to respect your privacy, especially if you confine your texts to actual business involving the dissolution of your marriage and the welfare of your children.  Your writing bores me anyway.

3.  Stop thinking that I want this loser back. Cuz, nope.

If he's such a loser, why are you so upset about losing him?  Didn't I do you a favor by taking him off your hands?  I think you protest too much.  And don't tell me what to think.  You're not the boss of me.

4. Don't push to be part of his children's lives, and for God's sake, don't make his kids share their precious visitation time with you.

Okay.  That means you don't get to expect me to do anything for your kids.  Not my kids.  Not my problem.    

5.  I have kids, so, unfortunately, I'm going to have to meet you. When it's time, don't show up looking like some kind of model.

No, you don't have to meet me, since you've pretty much banned me from having anything to do with your kids.  Get down off the motherhood martyrdom cross.  And don't tell me how I should look.  I can't help it if my looks make you feel insecure.  That's your problem.  But thanks for saying I look like a model.  I try.

6.  Or worse, like Pennsatucky from Orange Is The New Black (shudder).

I'm sure I don't know who Pennsatucky is.  I'm too busy fucking your husband to watch TV. 

7.  Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to the man I'm still married to (who *newsflash* fathered my children) to interject your two cents. You are not part of our relationship.

You let "this loser" father your children.  Just remember that, Mother-Of-The-Year.  I hope you don't plan to denigrate your children's father in front of them.  They share his DNA, you know; and it will hurt their feelings to hear you talk shit about their father.  

8.  Don't expect me to consider your feelings or place them above my own or my children's. Not even for one minute. Or one second. You don't matter to me.

Okay.  I'll be sure to continue giving you no quarter, either.   It's only fair, right?  And if I don't matter to you, why are you writing me this list of demands?  Again, you protest too much.  

9.  You slept with my husband and broke up my family. The odds of me ever respecting you are slim to none, especially if you've done anything on this list. You are more than welcome to try to earn my respect.

I never made a promise to you.  Your husband is the one who broke a commitment.  If you don't want your family broken up, forgive him for cheating and don't get a divorce.  What makes you think I give a shit if you respect me?  

10.  But here's the best advice I can give to someone like you: Don't be the other woman. Seriously. Otherwise, you'll get exactly what that type of person deserves: my sh*tty husband. Congratulations.

I hope your next relationship is more fulfilling and you choose your next mate more wisely.  Remember, there are other fish in the sea.  Your ability to judge character accurately is obviously lacking, though, so maybe you'd better wait until the kids are grown.  Wouldn't want to expose them to another loser.

In all seriousness, I do have some empathy for this woman.  It's tough to be betrayed.  Bill experienced it when his ex wife cheated on him.  But then, he probably should have expected it because she also cheated with him.  He believed her when she told him she was separated and her first husband was an abusive bastard.  He made a mistake in getting involved with her while she was still legally married and, in fact, didn't repeat that mistake with me.  There was no carrying on with me until his marriage to the ex was over.  In fact, I even had a so-called "white wedding".

Sounds like Ms. Bradshaw may have similarly made a mistake.  And she may take some solace in realizing that the woman she's so pissed at will likely also be cheated on by her loser soon to be ex.

God knows I have vented plenty on my blog about our situation.  But this is a blog and that's kind of what blogs are for.  It surprises me that an outfit like Huffington Post would publish such an emotional piece written by someone who is still obviously pretty raw.  I notice many commenters are on the writer's side, but quite a few more think she's immature.  What's she's done is vent, which is definitely natural... but to do it for Huffington Post?  I dunno.  Although it is getting read and shared, so what do I know?

Well... now that I've gotten that snarkiness out of my system, I think I'll go check on the laundry.


  1. All right then! Come on! You have lost all credibility! You DON'T watch "Orange is the New Black"??! Just kidding. Love to read your blog. And really, I don't know that I could blame you if you truly don't watch it. The book has the main character come across embarrassingly pompous. You get the feeling that "Piper" is a high schooler who has friends in all the cliques, not just the popular kids, (in prison).

    1. LOL... I know. I should familiarize myself with Orange Is The New Black. I hear about it all the time. It takes me awhile to get into TV shows, though. I didn't start watching Desperate Housewives until it had been on for four years. I didn't watch Big Love until it had been on for four years. I didn't watch ANTM until it had been on for four years... Hmm... I sense a trend. I used to watch TV religiously, but as I've gotten older, I've gotten out of the habit. Now that I'm in Germany, it's not so easy as it used to be. On the other hand, it's nice not to be tempted by Dr. Phil anymore.

      Glad you like my blog!


Comments on older posts will be moderated until further notice.