Monday, December 29, 2014

Hey! Don't trample my snowman, you asshole!

Photo courtesy of GutMaze on Wikipedia...  I would have made one myself, but I can't be bothered.

Now that we're in Germany again and living in the thick of the military community, I am becoming aware of problems I don't have because A: I don't have kids and B: I don't live in stairwell apartments.

This morning on our local community Facebook page, Stuttgart Friends, a lady complained that her son had made a snowman and a bunch of jerks came along and trampled it.  Other people chimed in and said they, too, had made snowpeople with their kids that were soon demolished by marauding killjoys.  One would hope it's kids who are doing the demolishing and not adults.  I can't imagine what kind of mean-spirited jackass would deliberately destroy someone else's hard work out in the cold.

In all seriousness, imagine being a little kid.  Maybe it's your first time experiencing snow.  Maybe you and daddy or mommy went out to play in the snow and made your very first snowman.  What joy!  What innocence.  What bliss!  Lots of military kids grow up in hot climates where snow is a rare but exquisite pleasure.  And all you want to do is enjoy your snowman for the short time it will survive.

But no... a group of ill mannered ruffians comes along and strikes your snowman dead within seconds of aiming a well placed kick in the snowman's groin.  Over it topples, along with it, your hard work and sense of pride.  What is with these heartless kids, anyway?

I was heartened to see some creative solutions suggested by the group.  One lady suggested pouring cold water over the snowman so it would turn into something hard and icy.  Another suggested using bricks or a boulder as a base.  Imagine being the unlucky child who dares to kick over that snowman, with its rock hard interior.  Ouch!  

One man's young son offered an optimistic perspective when his snowman was knocked over.  He said, "He's still here, just spread out a little.  We can put him back together!"

I know... kids love to knock things down.  I am sure that seeing a snowman standing there like a sitting duck is more than your average 9 year old boy can stand.  And based on the videos I've found on YouTube, it's also more than your average obnoxious teenaged boy can stand.  Perhaps this might be a good teaching moment for a parent.  It's a prime example of a time when you can explain to your child (or teen) why destroying someone else's creations is wrong.    

On the other hand, maybe it's time to engage in a little prankery.

Mwahahahahaha!  I wonder how those little shits would react if the snowman they dared to so callously destroy suddenly moved in for an attack!  I bet there would be tears!  

This guy looks like a winner... especially with his Bieberesque hairdo...

Here's a guy who was going to knock over a snowman but realized he was on camera...

Remember kids, mean people suck!

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