This is part 1...
This is a recent episode of Dr. Phil that someone uploaded to YouTube. I used to watch Dr. Phil McGraw fairly frequently, even though he often annoys me. It's not so much Phil that draws me... it's the people on his show. Case in point, the above episode that aired not long ago. I would have missed it completely had someone not posted it to YouTube, since I am in Germany now and can no longer fill my mornings with talk shows.
Anyway, I ran across the above episode about a guy who beat his wife with a wooden spoon and demanded that she call him "sir".
There are a lot of people out there who practice what's known as "Christian domestic discipline" or CDD. These are people who think that a husband needs to be the head of the household and discipline his wife and children using corporal punishment. A lot of people think this has to do with sexual proclivities toward BDSM and being kinky. I'm not sure that it always does.
I do think there are people out there who truly believe in CDD and it doesn't necessarily have to do with sex. On the other hand, I also think there are people out there who are just flat out abusive and use CDD as an excuse to hit their spouses. And I do think for some people, it really is more about kink rather than living by biblical principles.
I think Kirby, the guy highlighted on Dr. Phil's show, is truly an abusive person. I say this even taking into account that Dr. Phil's show is purely for entertainment and there might have been some creative editing. In this case, I don't think much editing needed to be done. I listen to the way he yells at his wife. He sounds enraged. True discipline should never be doled out when a person is enraged. I'm not generally a fan of corporal punishment toward kids or adults, unless the adults involved are doing it for fun. But even for those who believe in spankings and other forms of corporal punishment, I would say that it should be given when the person giving it is under control. Otherwise, it can quickly turn into abuse.
In the first episode, Kirby claims that his wife, Renee, is "narcissistic". He comes by this assessment by looking up symptoms on the Mayo Clinic's Web site. The Mayo Clinic is certainly a reputable medical institution, but it's not for a layperson to "diagnose" someone with a condition. Even Dr. Phil, who is no longer formally practicing psychology, but still has the experience and training, is careful to say that he hasn't evaluated Kirby or his wife and doesn't know who might have narcissistic personality disorder. He does, of course, point out some narcissistic behavior on Kirby's part.
In the second episode, Kirby has some supporters who claim he's not a "bad guy", including his mother and his son. I'm certain that this situation is not entirely one-sided. At the same time, it's pretty hard to ignore the way Kirby speaks to Renee and hits her with a wooden spoon.
As usual, Dr. Phil lines up what he calls "real help" for these people. I hope they get it. Renee's story doesn't take up the whole episode, which surprises me. I would have expected that they would have had more to talk about. I would be interested in Phil talking to people who are into CDD and don't take it to the extremes Kirby and Renee do. Some people really do believe in it. I don't, of course, but that's just me.
Phil moves on to other couples with abuse in their lives, including one woman who lost 90 pounds and went from a size 14 to a 0. And this is touted as a great thing...
I probably shouldn't watch this show. I think it makes me lose IQ points.
Moving on... I read this article on Yahoo! yesterday...
It's actually about parents whose kids call them by their first names. I don't necessarily have a problem with that if the parents are okay with it. Of course, my husband's former wife makes her kids call their fathers by their first names every time she gets divorced. Reading that article made me think of that and got me angry. Ex did that to diminish Bill's role in his daughters' lives.
A friend of mine pointed out that Bill's ex daughters are brainwashed. I get that. But they aren't kids anymore, though, and they are responsible for their reprehensible behavior. I really need to let this go, but every once in awhile, I run across something that brings it all back for me and pisses me off.
And when people tell me that one day, those two might contact Bill and want to reconnect with him, it sets me on edge. We've already had one experience with that and it turned out former stepson was trying to soak Bill for money. I know it's not fair to expect the same from his daughters, and yet, knowing who their mother is, I can't help but do that. It's a definite cycle in her family. Bill's ex's mother did the same thing-- cut her kids off from their fathers and then got them re-involved later for financial reasons. Since ex was adopted, it was especially a damaging thing to do.