Friday, November 7, 2014

Recent Dr. Phil show... A man spanks his wife with a wooden spoon because she needs to "repent"

This is part 1...

This is a recent episode of Dr. Phil that someone uploaded to YouTube.  I used to watch Dr. Phil McGraw fairly frequently, even though he often annoys me.  It's not so much Phil that draws me... it's the people on his show.  Case in point, the above episode that aired not long ago.  I would have missed it completely had someone not posted it to YouTube, since I am in Germany now and can no longer fill my mornings with talk shows.

Anyway, I ran across the above episode about a guy who beat his wife with a wooden spoon and demanded that she call him "sir".

This is part 2

There are a lot of people out there who practice what's known as "Christian domestic discipline" or CDD.  These are people who think that a husband needs to be the head of the household and discipline his wife and children using corporal punishment.  A lot of people think this has to do with sexual proclivities toward BDSM and being kinky.  I'm not sure that it always does.  

I do think there are people out there who truly believe in CDD and it doesn't necessarily have to do with sex.  On the other hand, I also think there are people out there who are just flat out abusive and use CDD as an excuse to hit their spouses.  And I do think for some people, it really is more about kink rather than living by biblical principles.  

I think Kirby, the guy highlighted on Dr. Phil's show, is truly an abusive person.  I say this even taking into account that Dr. Phil's show is purely for entertainment and there might have been some creative editing.  In this case, I don't think much editing needed to be done.  I listen to the way he yells at his wife.  He sounds enraged.  True discipline should never be doled out when a person is enraged.  I'm not generally a fan of corporal punishment toward kids or adults, unless the adults involved are doing it for fun.  But even for those who believe in spankings and other forms of corporal punishment, I would say that it should be given when the person giving it is under control.  Otherwise, it can quickly turn into abuse.  

In the first episode, Kirby claims that his wife, Renee, is "narcissistic".  He comes by this assessment by looking up symptoms on the Mayo Clinic's Web site.  The Mayo Clinic is certainly a reputable medical institution, but it's not for a layperson to "diagnose" someone with a condition.  Even Dr. Phil, who is no longer formally practicing psychology, but still has the experience and training, is careful to say that he hasn't evaluated Kirby or his wife and doesn't know who might have narcissistic personality disorder.  He does, of course, point out some narcissistic behavior on Kirby's part.

In the second episode, Kirby has some supporters who claim he's not a "bad guy", including his mother and his son.  I'm certain that this situation is not entirely one-sided.  At the same time, it's pretty hard to ignore the way Kirby speaks to Renee and hits her with a wooden spoon.  

As usual, Dr. Phil lines up what he calls "real help" for these people.  I hope they get it.  Renee's story doesn't take up the whole episode, which surprises me.  I would have expected that they would have had more to talk about.  I would be interested in Phil talking to people who are into CDD and don't take it to the extremes Kirby and Renee do.  Some people really do believe in it.  I don't, of course, but that's just me. 

Phil moves on to other couples with abuse in their lives, including one woman who lost 90 pounds and went from a size 14 to a 0.  And this is touted as a great thing...  

I probably shouldn't watch this show.  I think it makes me lose IQ points.

Moving on... I read this article on Yahoo! yesterday...

It's actually about parents whose kids call them by their first names.  I don't necessarily have a problem with that if the parents are okay with it.  Of course, my husband's former wife makes her kids call their fathers by their first names every time she gets divorced.  Reading that article made me think of that and got me angry.  Ex did that to diminish Bill's role in his daughters' lives.  

A friend of mine pointed out that Bill's ex daughters are brainwashed.  I get that.  But they aren't kids anymore, though, and they are responsible for their reprehensible behavior.  I really need to let this go, but every once in awhile, I run across something that brings it all back for me and pisses me off.  

And when people tell me that one day, those two might contact Bill and want to reconnect with him, it sets me on edge.  We've already had one experience with that and it turned out former stepson was trying to soak Bill for money.  I know it's not fair to expect the same from his daughters, and yet, knowing who their mother is, I can't help but do that.  It's a definite cycle in her family.  Bill's ex's mother did the same thing-- cut her kids off from their fathers and then got them re-involved later for financial reasons.  Since ex was adopted, it was especially a damaging thing to do.   

I have said that as far as I'm concerned, Bill's ex kids can go straight to hell.  But they are Bill's daughters and if they want to meet with him and he agrees, that will be up to the three of them.  I will stay out of it... I hope.  On the other hand, I know myself and I know I will have a lot to say about it.


  1. I'm far from a expert on this topic. If anythingof this nature had ever happened in my own parents' marriage, I'm relatively confident that it would have been the very last thing that happened in their state f marriage, as dicorce would have been filed for within 24 hours.

    I'm not quite sure what to think though I thinnk kinkiness is a major component oin most but not all cases. in some cases it's probably just power.My mom knew of one woman who liked it, and "liked" her husband to be in control of her, but really only on her terms. She was doing what is referred to, I think, as "topping from the bottom." All three of her marriages about which I know ended in divorce when the control exceeded her conmfort level. Yet it was control that she desired in the beginning.

    Toneach his or her own, I suppose, but it just does not seem healthy to me. Our good friend Pat Boone would probably disagree. He never reALLY WROTE OF DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE BEYOND WHAT WAs practiced on his children, but it wouldn't surprise me to learn that it was part of the marriage as wel.

    1. Bill's ex wife liked to be spanked and even purchased a hairbrush to be used for that purpose. Bill was not comfortable with it and for very good reason. A lot of times, women who are into that sort of thing only want it to the point at which they are comfortable. Then they'll call the cops.

      Bill's ex never called the police on him, but she did tell his father and stepmother about their "discipline sessions" and made it sound like Bill was abusive to her. After twelve years of marriage this month, I can tell you that Bill doesn't do anything like that unless there is mutual consent. I think marriages in which corporal punishment is involved can be very risky, although I certainly have nothing against being kinky.

      I think there are some people out there-- women especially-- who are looking for a father figure and leader. A man who spanks his wife, in effect, gives her the chance to be a child again. I guess for some women, it's like getting a do-over. But again, women who need this sort of leadership are often immature and it can spell disaster for the man if he's not really an abuser. If he is an abuser, it can spell disaster for both parties.

      When it comes down to it, as long as everyone is an adult and consents, I guess it's not a big deal... but it's not the sort of thing one can easily talk about frankly. Even if you're able to have this sort of relationship on a healthy level, most people don't understand it and will think it's bizarre.


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