Saturday, March 29, 2014


This morning, I was watching a reality show about people who won the lottery.  As I was watching, I noticed the shitty background music most of these types of shows use.  They all seem to use the same generic background music, which probably made some nameless composer in the L.A. area very wealthy.  I commented that I hate the music they use on reality shows.  A friend then asked me why a reality show would need music…

And that reminded me of Muzak.  You know what that is?  I sure do.  Some people call it elevator music.  My dad used to listen to it all the time.  It's basically generic music piped into retail stores.  It's boring, bland, and utterly annoying to me.  While I guess I can understand why stores would play elevator music, what I never understood was why there was a fucking radio station with a playlist completely devoted to Muzak.  But there was and my dad used to listen to it ALL THE TIME.

I remember being in the backseat of whatever vehicle he was driving and he'd play that confounded "music" the whole time.  He'd sing or hum, which made me grind my teeth in annoyance.  Dad was considered a "good" singer back in the day, but not by me.  I think that was one reason why we've never gotten along particularly well.

For hours, he'd play the radio and that horrible, soulless music.  I was powerless to do anything about it until some blessed soul invented the Walkman and I was able to block out that shit.  My father has always said he was a music lover, but I don't understand how anyone who loves music can profess to enjoy Muzak.  To my dad's credit, he also enjoys classical music.

Muzak is actually kind of interesting, though… not because it's decent music, but because it's been experimented with so much.  It supposedly aids in employee production and manipulates people into buying things.  "Pleasant" music adds to a business's ambiance and may make shoppers shop longer.  My dad owned and operated his own business, but I don't think he cared about manipulating people to buy more.  I think he genuinely enjoyed elevator music.  And I, at the other end of the spectrum, loathe it.

An example of Muzak…

I can't bear to listen to this… but it did just give me an idea for my porno story.


  1. I suspect it's been used for subliminal purposes almost since it was invented. I hate it and don't trust it.

  2. No true musician could love Muzak. Speaking of music, I haven't heard from Mindi Carpenter's biggest fan on Dungeon of the Past recently.

  3. I've been thinking about our friend as well. when I have time to post, I may try to smoke her out again.

    1. Interestingly enough, that post is enormously popular. Most of my other posts don't get much traffic now that Paul doesn't read anymore.


Comments on older posts will be moderated until further notice.