Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Emotionally immature mothers…

I have posted many times on this blog about this particular subject.  I wanted to blog about a letter I saw in today's Dear Abby column.  The author of the letter is a woman who has a two year old daughter.  All her life, she's fantasized about having four "princess" daughters.  Sadly, she is now pregnant with a little boy.  The boy's father is no longer in a relationship with this mom-to-be, but he and his family are excited about the baby.

The letter writer explains that she's sad about having a son and is thinking about signing the boy over to her ex boyfriend.  Her own family is not thrilled about this and even says the baby's dad should be cut out of the baby's life.

Obviously, this mom has some serious issues.  The number one issue, in my view, is extreme immaturity.  What's sad is that she has a daughter, only two years old, who is the product of another relationship.  She has a son who is about to be born that she doesn't want, the product of a guy she's not with anymore.  And her family apparently thinks this baby boy's father has no rights and should be excluded from the baby's life.

Anyone who has read this blog already knows how I feel about fathers and how they absolutely should have the right to be involved in their children's lives.  I don't know how old this mom to be is.  She seems extremely immature and therefore not ready to have sex with anyone.  She may very well still be a teenager.  But I wouldn't be surprised if she's not an older woman, since I have run into my share of immature women who are well above the age of consent.

This woman recognizes that her feelings are *odd* and even says she feels like a "monster".  The fact that she realizes these feelings are not typical is a sign that she's not really a monster.  In fact, she may just be dealing with some hormonal or psychological issues.  Or she may just need to grow up.  I'm glad Abby encouraged her to seek local help for her problem.  On the surface, it's easy to say that the feelings will pass once the boy is born, but it may not.  Or she may do something rash that she will eventually regret.

At the very least, I hope the father of that baby and his family stay involved.  Too may dads who actually want to be dads are unfairly cut out of their children's lives and treated like sperm donors with wallets.


  1. This may not be very kind, but i suspect the biggest favor she could ever do the poor little boy would be to sign away rights to him.

    1. Well, I'm not sure I'd go that far. Part of her problem may very well be hormonal. She really may feel very differently a year or two from now. I do hope her family doesn't kick the father out of the boy's life, though. Or maybe she'll give custody to the boy's father without giving up her rights.


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