Friday, February 14, 2014

Bad Form...

I cringe when I hear someone refer to "bad form".  Seems like about ten years ago, that snooty term referring to poor etiquette went into vogue.  Today, I read a ridiculous article about Gwen Stefani having a baby shower for her third son.  Seems that some busybodies, obviously with nothing better to do with their time, think that Stefani's baby shower is "bad form".  This despite the fact that it was attended by celebrities who no doubt gave business to caterers and bartenders and whoever else was in on the shindig.  This is not a bad thing for those folks who got to work.  And honestly, who gives a fuck?

I am frequently accused of "bad form".  The first time I really heard it applied to me was when my ex best friend emailed me to say it was "bad form" to call her at work.  I did it exactly one time.  I never did it again and at this point, doubt I will ever see or talk to her again anyway.  But I do remember how I felt when I read that email.  It really pissed me off, though I didn't say so at the time.  I think I wrote back to her that "It would never happen again" and it never did.  In fact, if I recall correctly, our interactions were mostly over the Internet and more often than not left me fuming.

Telling someone that something is "bad form" is really a very condescending thing to do.  Basically you are implying that you know better about how to behave than they do.  That kind of thinking can really backfire if you're not careful.  When you try to school someone on something like their "form", you invite them to criticize you when your form is slipping.  And believe you me, this person who was once my friend has very frequently shown bad form.  I heard about it from many people who met her thanks to me.  

Anyway, I've about had it with uppity assholes who think they can call someone out for their shitty behavior but then don't appreciate it when someone else exercises the same privilege.  Some people stop giving a shit when they get to their 70s or 80s.  I have officially stopped giving a shit right now.  My tolerance for people who want to talk about "bad form" or feel they are entitled to lecture someone on their parties is now officially down the crapper.

In other news…

I busted Bill's chops a little because tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I knew he hadn't made a reservation anywhere for dinner.  He felt guilty so I heard him calling for reservations and of course, they didn't have anything open…

So he went on OpenTable and the one place that had open reservations all night was a place called "Dick's Last Resort"…  I thought that was too funny.  They serve crab legs, buckets of chicken, catfish, and BBQ.  How romantic!  I should go, just so I can write about it.

In all honesty, I don't really care about eating out on Valentine's Day anymore.  I have had to work plenty of Valentine's Days in restaurants.  It would be just as much fun (or probably even more fun) if we went on the 15th instead.  As it is now, Bill could take me to Spec's liquor store for Valentine's Day and buy me a nice bottle of champagne.  Then I could sit at home and drink it in my underwear.  Ahhh…  That's romance right there!


  1. The "shower for first baby only" piece of ettiquette was probably intended to keep the same friends and neighbors from being hit up for gifts when someone had eleven babies or something like that. it doesn't apply to celebrities, who have enoug disposable income that it's not an issue, nor does it apply to most middle class people anymore. If you're invited to a shower and don't feel like springing for a gift, politely decline the invitation. it's really not complicated.

    I found out through the wife of one of my uncles that my dad's sisters complained about the impropriety of my mom's baby shower for Matthew and me even though she didn't have a shower for the babies she lost because they were born about a month before the first shower would have been held. They used that as a reason to boycott the shower and gossip amongst themselves and others about it.

    Baby showers should be held whenever someone feels like hosting one and someone else feels like showing up to it.

    People who school others on form or etiquette are indeed opening themselves up to major scrutiny.

    1. I agree. I guess the author of that article must have needed something to write about.

  2. Replies
    1. No. We didn't go to Dick's or Spec's.


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