Thursday, January 30, 2014

Random musings...

There's an ad on Oprah Winfrey's OWN channel featuring Marie Osmond, who, in all her Botoxed glory, laments that she's been "offered so many times to pose nude" many times.  After she says that, she adds, "I was just offered to pose nude, actually."  I don't like Marie Osmond that much anyway, but I cringe when I hear her say something that makes it sound like she's some kind of slave.  I think what she means is that she was "asked" to pose nude, not "offered".  Unless she has a master of some sort, no one can offer her naked body except her.  Someone could offer to shoot photos of her nude, but that's not what she said.  Poor editing, OWN.

The JG Wentworth ads are getting more and more outlandish.  I just saw one that was done in a German Oktoberfest theme.  I've seen another done in a Hawaiian theme.  What do these themes have to do with getting lump cash payments from settlements?  Is it a subliminal message to take a vacation to an exotic place?  I mean, those ads have been running for years and they've always been kind of campy, but the most recent ones are reaching a fever pitch of absurdity.  Oddly enough, in their ads, they constantly sing the phone number 877-CASH-NOW.  But go on their Web site, and there are totally different ones there.

Arran's explorative nose has been getting him into a lot of trouble.  Yesterday, he broke into my closet and chewed up several Spanish feminine hygiene products I purchased in Seville.  They were very deodorized maxi pads, so I guess he couldn't resist them.  Thank heavens they were unused!  Of course, had they been used, I would have put them in the appropriate trash receptacle instead of my closet.

I think we're going to an ice hockey game tomorrow night.  I haven't been to one in a long while, but the last time I went, I had a really great time, despite being with my parents.  Ice hockey is a lot of fun to watch if you don't mind a little violence.  At the last game I attended, the puck hit the plexiglass barrier so hard that they had to stop the game to replace it.

I am currently reading a book called Prisoner of X: 20 Years in the Hole at Hustler Magazine.  It's about a guy who spent twenty years working for Larry Flynt.  I'm not enjoying the book as much as I thought I would, but I have to admit there are some pretty funny stories in it.  One story involves Pat Boone's penis.  I hope to be done reading soon so I can post a review.

Bill's blood pressure has varied from slightly high to low.  Obviously, his meds need to be adjusted yet again, but he definitely does have lower blood pressure when he's not in a doctor's office.

Things are getting back to normal.  My anxiety about the future is about to erupt into full blown panic.  Just kidding… I'm not that bad off yet.  But I did tell Bill I wanted him to try to finish the third and final level of this computer security course he's been taking.  If he's able to do it, it will probably mean he has to go to Washington, DC for a week.  He was going to settle for just two levels and try to take the third level course later, but when he retires, he will only be one class short.  So I nagged him to finish up, which he can probably do when he's on terminal leave (using up all his accrued leave in the weeks before he's officially out of the Army).  I figure it can only help him.

A friend of mine wants me to read a book about self-publishing books.  He thinks I should try to write a book and sell it and he wants to help me do it.  Once I'm done reading the book about the guy at Hustler, I guess I'll get cracking on the book my friend sent me to read.  I met this man when we were in Armenia.  I don't think he's blowing smoke up my ass about self-publishing, either.  He is a businessman and has the academic pedigree and experience to back up what he suggests.  My problem is, I have trouble with self-promotion.  It's only been recently that I've even advertised this blog.  It was intended to be a place for me to blow off steam and vent my spleen and I didn't want to stir up shit with some of the people I write about.  But now it's picking up steam anyway, so I guess I might as well reap the benefits.  I have nothing to lose and commutes, co-workers, and corporate bullshit are not my fortes.

It's amazing how I can find things to keep me busy.  ;-)  I remember when I first became a housewife, I was bored out of my mind and aching to get to work.  Now that I haven't had a job, I find things to do.  Most of the things I do aren't not particularly financially rewarding, but I do continue to surprise myself when I find things I can do that raise some bucks.  I wish I'd known about some of these things when I was in grad school.  They would have been a huge help.  But then, back in those days, I was writing a lot of vaguely pornographic short stories that helped me lure Bill.  So maybe that was time well spent after all.

So ends today's random musings post...

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