Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Candace Cameron Bure is "submissive"...

I just read a most suggestive headline.  Candace Cameron admits to being "submissive" to her husband.  I know this is a biblical thing.  There are a lot of people out there who believe in the biblical principles that wives should submit to their husbands.  They base their ideas on submission on the following Bible passage…

Ephesians 5:22-33

New International Version (NIV)

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

The idea is that the wife is to submit to her husband and the husband is to submit to the church.  The husband is to take care of his wife lovingly and be a leader.

I don't have a huge problem with this, even though I don't think I am a particularly submissive person.  I think if being submissive works for you and you have a mature husband who doesn't abuse that privilege, it can work out fine.  I would have no problem submitting to Bill.  He is not abusive and I know he loves me very much.  He is also a good leader.  Hell, if I really think about it, I probably do submit to him.  I pretty much became an Overeducated Housewife due to his choice in careers and the fact that it forced us to move so often.  If I had wanted to, I could have tried to do something to maintain my equality to him and my career.  But that would have complicated our marriage.   

For me, it was more important for the marriage to work than it was for me to be a public health social worker.  For other women, what I've done would not have been okay.  Other women might have tried really hard to maintain their careers, even if it meant lengthy separations from their spouses.  I didn't get married to be separated, though.  I trust Bill and after eleven years of marriage, I have found that I was right to trust him.

Anyhoo, while I wouldn't count myself one of Candace's biggest fans, I did actually read her first book.  I don't remember being overly impressed by it.  But I would much rather read her thoughts on Christianity than her brother's.  Kirk Cameron was once the stuff of teenage dreams.  I never had a crush on him, but I remember a lot of my friends did.  They watched Growing Pains every week to see Kirk in all his mulleted glory, never realizing that one day he'd become something of a wing nut.

I'm sure that a lot of men would love to have Candace Cameron Bure submitting to them.  Here's hoping that her husband is mature enough to handle the responsibility of being head of the household.  I'm assuming he is, since they've been married for so long.  However, given the way so many people on the Internet are, I won't be looking at the comments of any article that mentions Candace Cameron Bure "submitting"...


  1. I'm not a huge fan of Ms. Bure. Dr. Drew featured her on a panel after some incident -- the most recent Colorado school shooting, I think. Her supposed reason for inclusion in the panel was having authored a book. Dr. Drew may have had no say in her appearnce on his show. HLN may have had an obligation to promote Ms. Bure's book on X number of programs.

    Ms. Bure's inclusion on this panel of experts seemed to me to be something of an insult to the bona fide experts on the panel. Then again, most of them were probably well-paid for the privilege of being insulted. I couldn't see what possible expertise she might have had in relation to a school shooting that virtually any other parent off the street wouldn't have had.

    I can only imagine the kinky comments Ms. Bure's admission inspired.

    1. I posted this on Facebook and one of my Christian friends explained to me what submission is supposed to be… which I already knew about. I am actually surprised there weren't more comments.

  2. I was particularly interested in the Candace/Submission article because a) she's married to a hockey player and b) I have been told by friends (who by the way aren't married) that I am somewhat submissive in my marriage.

    I liked the way you put it here:

    "I pretty much became an Overeducated Housewife due to his choice in careers and the fact that it forced us to move so often. If I had wanted to, I could have tried to do something to maintain my equality to him and my career. But that would have complicated our marriage."

    I gave up my career (and postponed some of my goals) to support my husband in his dream to play professional hockey in Europe. Primarily because his dream had a shelf life, mine don't. I think of him as "the man of the house" because he provides for our family but we are most definitely equals.

    So sure, I may submissive in some ways, but we are most definitely partners.

    1. Hi Hockey Wife! I took a look at your blog and I think we may have some things in common. I like hockey, even though I'm not really a sports fan. Hockey is fun to watch.

      I'm not very religious, but I can relate to the whole submissive wife thing for a lot of reasons. When you marry a military officer and move five times in seven years, it gets hard to climb corporate ladders. But it works out for me. I have found some success writing and now I don't want to sign up for the grind anymore.

      My husband will leave the Army in a few months and we'll see what happens then. But yeah, if one spouse is in a demanding career that requires lots of moves or going abroad, you can find yourself in a less balanced situation. I am grateful my husband never rubs my nose in the fact that he supports me financially.


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