Wednesday, October 9, 2013

My husband's ex daughter's mission call...

I really thought we had come to an agreement that Bill would quit reading his younger ex daughter's blog.  But I guess I can understand why he keeps reading.  Despite everything, he still loves his girls and wants to know how they're doing.  So he reads... and then tells me about it.  I often wish he wouldn't, because it makes it hard for me to move on.  But they are his daughters and it's natural he'd want to talk to his wife about them.  So I listen when he tells me this stuff and then write about it...  Lucky you!

Last night, Bill came into my "office" and said, "Do we know anyone in South Salt Lake City?"

I wasn't getting his drift and said we didn't.  I really don't know anyone-- in person-- from Utah... not anymore, anyway.  I do have a few online acquaintances from Utah, though I can't think of any from South Salt Lake City.

Then Bill said, "Catherine got her mission call."

I have to admit, I laughed out loud.  I have a feeling that the prospect of serving a mission in South Salt Lake is a bitter disappointment to Bill's ex daughter, who, during her one and only visit with us, proudly declared that one day, she wanted to do a mission in Russia.  This daughter moved to Provo to spend a year at BYU and is now going to move up the road to serve her mission.  How exciting.

As a side note, I have a feeling that Bill's ex wife will never let this kid live down that she's not going abroad somewhere.  I have a sneaking suspicion that ex fears any of her kids being more "accomplished" than she is and ex was not LDS until she was about 30.  She never went on a mission and didn't finish college (if she is, in fact, being truthful about her college pursuits) until she was in her 40s.  So while she probably could have bragged about Catherine if she were called to Europe, the fact is, ex is probably kind of happy Catherine will stay stateside.  It's easier to make digs about that if Catherine ever gets "too big for her britches" in ex's view.

Anyway, I don't pretend to know the reasons why some Mormon kids end up in exciting places abroad and some end up in the Mormon corridor (aka Morridor).  However, I do understand that the "local" missions are generally not all that exciting to get.  And Catherine apparently wasn't excited, because she wrote just one line in her blog about it.  "Here I go to South Salt Lake City"...  I am paraphrasing, because I didn't actually read her blog.  Bill reported this to me.

A clip from the move The Singles Ward...  It pretty much sums things up  

I posted about this development on the Exmo Facebook group and a couple of people brought up some salient points.  Apparently, a lot of kids are being sent to the Mormon corridor, because they can help reactivate inactive members, get cheap housing with members, and probably save the church money on airfare.  Another person reminded us that Utah has tons of exMormons around, who may very well educate Bill's ex daughter about things she doesn't know about.  

On the other hand, it'll probably be a somewhat easy mission in terms of living conditions and she won't be seen as "weird"...  except maybe by her companions, who might want to choke her because she is a radicalized Mormon who seems to take the rules to extremes.  We have it from good sources that she has a tendency to act like a cop.  What little I've seen of her blog indicates that she has a holier than thou attitude and tries a little too hard to be the perfect little Molly.  

I have a sense that she sort of gets off on the persecution complex, yet will never really be the LDS royalty she aspires to be because she doesn't have pioneer blood and doesn't come from a well-regarded LDS family.  Her mother and "father" (meaning her stepfather, not Bill) are both converts.  Neither of them has money, good looks, education or prestige, though ex tries hard to convince people that she does.  Ex is on her third husband and has a son who was busted for dope, plus left the church before he had the chance to go on a mission.  Granted, it would not surprise me if Alex went back to the church for "business" and control purposes.  But he sure didn't do what he was "supposed" to do.  

Bill's older daughter is supposedly a talented artist, but is mostly thought of as "weird" by family members (ex included).  I don't say this because I necessarily think that about her... I don't know her well enough to make that determination.  I met her once and the first thing she did was apologize to me for her personality (older daughter has a personality more like Bill's and looks like her mother-- younger daughter looks like Bill and acts like her mother).  But everyone else seems to think Bill's older daughter, who at age 22 still lives with her mother and is trying to find herself, is a bit of a "sweet spirit".  She doesn't post a lot of stuff on the Internet, though, so I don't "know" her as well as I do Catherine.  I get the sense that Catherine doesn't want to be like her sister, so she tries desperately to be a joiner and is really into church.  The trouble is, even a lot of Mormon kids are just not THAT into church.  She takes it to extremes.  

Ex also has two more kids by #3, one of whom is supposedly autistic.  There are five kids in Catherine's family fathered by three different men.  It's definitely not the Mormon ideal, although I'm sure that they try to minimize that by slamming Ex's first two husbands for not measuring up to LDS standards.  Given the fact that #1 was never LDS and #2 (Bill) wasn't a convert until late into the marriage, I can't see why anyone would expect them to adhere to LDS standards.  But I'm sure ex never mentions that part... or the fact that she even has these exes.  I think ex and her ilk have tried to smooth over the rougher parts of their situation and fashion a sort of pretty, but false, LDS facade that looks somewhat respectable, even though a lot of people really do know the truth.    

I have a feeling that Catherine looks at the ideal Mormon family and longs for what they have... or what they appear to have.  So she does all she can to embrace everything about Mormonism to the point of being really gung ho.  I'm sure local leaders like to it an extent, because they don't have to worry about her falling away.  She can probably be counted on for church chores or other dirty work that less devoted members can't be bothered with.  But I have a feeling that she also annoys the hell out of people because every damn thing is about the church and religion.  At age 19, that's weird.  She was like that at age 9, too... which was just as weird.  

Now that the mission ages have been lowered, it's more common for females to serve missions; and perhaps now that they don't have to wait until they are the "old maid" age of  21, it's more prestigious for women to go on a mission.  But really, I think the point of most Mormon missions is to get young men to stay faithful to the church.  It's not as heavily encouraged among the girls... and until somewhat recently, seemed to be something for "sweet spirits" to do if they weren't married by age 21.

Personally, I see missions as mostly a waste of time for young people who should be preparing for adulthood by going to school or working in meaningful jobs.  I suppose you could make the argument that it takes some bravery and skills to go through strange neighborhoods far from home, knocking on doors and trying to sell ice to eskimos.  If you go to a foreign mission, then you might learn another language and pick up some cross cultural experiences.  But for most people outside of the Morridor, Mormon missions don't mean a damn thing and, for some folks, may even be a liability.  Add in the fact that missionaries are expected to PAY for this experience and it really does become a waste.  I'd much rather be a Peace Corps Volunteer.

In any case, I do sincerely hope that Catherine gets something out of the mission and is educated somehow.  She may spend her 18 months wandering around trying to sell Mormonism back to people who have soundly rejected it.  She may actually manage to get some people to agree to convert to Mormonism.  Or maybe she'll finally figure out the truth.  

Look out South Salt Lake City...    


  1. Whew! So it isn't Houston, TX after all. :o)

    1. Houston would be okay with me. I don't live in Houston.

  2. I picked all missions that my cousins are currently serving. So they're only putting hotties in temple square? Actually the cousin who got sent there is somewhat cute for being the daughter of one of my dad's sisters.

    Now that they've lowered the mission age for girls, it's not such a stigma to go, and many of them who can afford it (girls' parents generally don't budget for it the way boys' parents have done up to this point). the girls who are going now at the younger ages (nineteen is now the minimum age for girls) are either girls whose parents are relatively comfortable or girls who are willing to spend their college funds on missions. Some of them now will have to totally work their way through college with no help from their parents when before the new rule, their parents' money would have been spent puching them through college.

    Other than the one cousin who went to South America and became seriously ill, most of my cousins have been sent to nice places, possibly because of family connections. Cousins have served or are currently serving in England and in Scotland, in Halifax, in Boise (not too cool), in Temple Square, in Hawaii, in New Zealand, and in France. If there's anyone else who has been sent elsewhere in the past three or four years, I don't know about it.
    parts of Salt ake are not very nice.

    Poor Catherine has my sympathy. I hope they keep her out of gang territory.

    Is she smarter than her mother? Is that what her mother has against her?

    1. Actually, I think Catherine is the so-called "Golden Child"... But yes, she is definitely more intelligent than her mother is. She is also the spitting image of Bill in the face. Unfortunately, she seems to have her mother's yucky personality and completely lacks humility. I don't feel sorry for her, other than the fact that she was raised by a psycho and that wasn't her fault.

      I have heard from multiple sources that those who go to Temple Square are considered "hotties". I don't know how true that is. Catherine is not unattractive at all, but she's no hottie. And honestly, I wonder if maybe she and her mother didn't hit up Bill's dad for financial help for this. Either that, or she got help from the church. I don't see how in the world they can afford a mission. But then, it's none of my business... As long as Bill isn't paying for it, who gives a fuck?

      Actually, I would have preferred not to know about this at all. I want to stop thinking about the whole lot of them.


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