Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Taking my vibrators to the dump...

As we're preparing for the packers to come here tomorrow, Bill and I have been discussing what to do with some items we haven't been using.  A few years ago, when Bill was deployed, I invested in a "Magic Wand" vibrator by Hitachi.  I was really excited about getting this device, since I'd heard such great things about it.  Unfortunately, I wasn't impressed with the wand.  Somehow, I also ended up with two of them.  I reviewed the wand on Epinions and ended up getting some uninvited correspondence with yucky, horny men on Yahoo! Messenger.  It was way gross.

So, since about 2007, my vibrators have sat in the bottom of a drawer, bereft of my attention.  I needed something a little more powerful than the Magic Wand and ended up finding something more like a jackhammer for my "special sensual needs".

I have a few other massaging items that I don't use anymore... a water bath with jets for my feet, an electric vibrating foot massager, and a cheap chair massager for my back that never fit any of the chairs in our house.  So there's a pile of massaging items in our bedroom waiting for a trip to the dump.

I've been imagining what it will look like when Bill takes these items to the landfill.  One time, when he went there, there were people hanging out at the dump, waiting to see what people were throwing out.  They were delighted when Bill offered them an ugly 40 year old yellow American Tourister suitcase I had inherited from my mom.  They referred to it as an "Ike Turner" suitcase.  I can only wonder what their reactions would be if he offered them my vibrators...

Incidentally, the Magic Wand doesn't really look pornographic.  In fact, if you read the directions, there's no discussion of it being used as a sensual aid.  It's supposedly intended for use on parts of the body that are perfectly acceptable for public view.  But I have never heard of anyone using the Magic Wand for anything other than a sexual toy.  Go figure.


A lot of people supposedly love this thing... 

2 comments:

  1. I've always been curious s to whether or not my mom has a magic wand of some sort. My dad IS out of town a lot. I 've never been so curious, though, as to snoop. I suppose that is because, on a deeper level, I really don't want to know.

    My brother always tells me when they're doing the wild thing. Their bedroom has an entryway that has an additional set of doors. My brother says when both sets of doors ar closed , then twenty-five minutes later or so, you hear bathroom water running, and then the outer doors open, it's a sure sign they've boinked and they're finished.

    I try to cover up my ears and attempt not to hear what he's saying, but he pulls my hands off my ears and starts singing that song about "People are still having sex."

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  2. Ha ha ha! It's what married people do... hopefully. Of course, we haven't done it in awhile.

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