Saturday, June 8, 2013

My least favorite "auntie" is in town...

I've already done a Dungeon of the Past post about Dolly Parton's song, PMS Blues...  And I'm sure I've waxed poetic about periods on this blog way too many times.  One good thing about turning 41 in a couple of weeks is that it means I'm one year closer to being done with periods.  I shouldn't complain too much, I guess.  I don't really have problems with PMS... except I do get the occasional zit and weird food cravings.

This morning, I woke up craving doughnuts.  Funny, it turns out today is National Doughnut Day.  I didn't eat any doughnuts because we don't have any in our house... for very good reason!  As the day went on, it was very stormy and I was a touch on the horny side.  Then I wanted a Snickers bar.  I didn't have a Snickers bar because we don't have them in the house.  Then I wanted deep fried shrimp.

Yeah, I think it's safe to say that with cravings like those, it was a sure sign Auntie Flow was on the way to visit.  My husband brought home fried shrimp, fried chicken, and a Snickers bar.  After we ate, I found that Flow was present and accounted for.  Nothing like salty, greasy, sweet foods to soothe the savage beast.

All I can hope is that this month's period isn't like last month's, which took forever to finish.  My periods usually last a few days, but last month while we were in Europe, that bitch hung around for an entire week... just long enough for me to pick up a cold.  That's no way to spend a vacation.

I have a whole shitload of Italian feminine hygiene products, too.  They aren't as good as American ones, but because Aunt Flow stuck around twice as long as I expected, I had to get more.  And then I didn't end up using the second package, which are the long overnight ones.

Ah well... at least I can suffer at home instead of in a hotel room.  Just in case you don't want to look at my Dungeon of the Past post, here's Dolly...



  1. I love Dolly. I wish she were my real auntie. I'd trade six of the seven biological aunts on my dad's side for her. I'd be tempted to throw in the seventh as well, as she's rather kooky, but she's sweet and means well, and she has cute if strangely named babies.

    Regarding Auntie Flow, my mom is 47 and has no sign of the great roller coaster ride yet. Your genetics may be different, though. My dad said the mean age for a year without periods is 52, I think.

    I feel that if men were the ones who had to endure periods, we would have a safe way of not having them by now. i know some forms of birth control can eliminate most periods, and a certain form of cauterization eliminates menstruation altogether. I'm leery about both of those measures, though. I'm going to wait another fifteen years and see what the longer-term results are. I know both the birth control and the cauterization were used experimentally before they were approved, but my inside information was that maybe they weren't used for long enough to really know the long-term implications. That happens with all sorts of medications, procedures, and even foods. Remember how margarine was the answer to all our choleterol woes? Yet the trans-fatty acids and all ended up being far worse than using butter in moderation. That didn't come out for a long time. That's why I'm concerned both about birth control that allows one to have only four periods a year, or cauterization that eliminates them entirely.

    I really can't complain too much about Aunt Flow, though. I had my first period in January at the age of nineteen years and six weeks. Since then I've only had one additional period. My dad consulted a gynecologist (thank God I didn't have to go see him). He told my dad that it was a combination of my low body fat, genetics (my mom started at about the same time) and borderline hyperthyroidism, and since I'm not trying to conceive anytime soon, I should consider myself lucky.

    I'm very curious; how are Italian hygiene products inferior to those in the U.S.?

    I hope you're feeling better soon.

  2. I should amend that comment about the Italian hygiene products to say the regular sized pads weren't as good. They weren't as comfortable or absorbent as the US brand I usually use. I have some overnight pads from Italy that are somewhat better. They're long and somewhat comfortable, though still not really what I'd prefer to use.

    I have never used birth control of any kind. Never had a need to and never wanted to endure the gyno visits required to get them. I started my periods when I was almost exactly 13.5 years old, then didn't have another one until I'd turned 14. That was surprising to me, because my mom started when she was about 10. But back in those days, I was riding horses a lot and active. I also dieted a lot when I was in high school, though I've certainly never been especially skinny.

    Like you, I wonder what the fallout over messing with periods might be. But fortunately, my periods just aren't that horrible most of the time. The first day is the only one that really sucks.

  3. I should amend my statement to "I had my first period at the ageof eighteen yers and six weeks." I' not 19 yet. even 13.5 is late by today's standards, but it might have been the norm twenty-five years ago. Onset of menarche seems to be arriving earlier, but consensushasn't been reached as to why. Food additives are heavily cited, but Canada has relative few of the suspected estrogen-related additives in milk and meat, and they are not far behind the U.S. in onset of menarche. A few oddfacotrs, such as prematurity of borth and maternal smoking, have been cited as causes, as hs undernutrition in early years. I was a preemie and had several months of undernutrition when I was six, but I was still late.

    My dad has discussed it with researchers who study the specific topic, and after talking to them, he thinks the main causes are more Hispanics per capita in the U. S., and Hispanics start earlier,(Asians tend to start significantly later; hisorically they've consumed less milk), and girls getting less exercise as well as more overweight girls, as an increase in body fat and a decline in activity both have been linked to early onset. he says he doesn't rule out additives in milk and meat, though he thinks they're less causative than many people think. We've always had organic meats and milk at home since we were born.

    My mom started at close to the age I did, and had spotty periods, presumably due to hyperthroidism,

    My dad says it's not really a big deal unless it's happening before the ageof ten.

  4. I think in my day, 12 was the average age. Most of my friends started before me. I remember the exact day, because it was New Year's Eve 1985. And then I didn't have another period until July 1986. I've had one every single month since then.

    I never asked my sisters when they got their first periods. I think they're all menopausal or peri-menopausal now. A couple of years ago, I was having breakfast with my oldest sister and she commented that she was having a hot flash. I kind of screamed and she said, "It's not contagious!" She's 13 years older than I am.


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