Thursday, May 23, 2013

My husband's dream...

This morning, my husband sent me the following email.  I've edited slightly to protect identities...

Hey Darling, 

I had a strange dream last night. You and I and the dogs were in what looked like Amalfi, walking through tiny back streets. At some point, you and the dogs got separated from me. I started wandering around in the general direction were I last saw the three of you and spied Arran, sitting outside a WC. 

A woman emerged that wasn't you, and I asked you were Zane was. I never really recognized a face, but more a presence. The person didn't have your attitude, didn't behave like you at all. She said that she'd run into a large family eating dinner and they had a bunch of dogs with them. Zane ran up to them and greeted everyone. She went on to say that Zane seemed so happy that she agreed to let him stay with the family and that all we needed to do was go get his papers and leash and meet the family at their car. 

I became livid and made the woman pick up Arran and together we went to where some of the family was waiting. There was a bearded "mountain man" behind the wheel and I told her to go with him, get Zane and bring him back. There was a young woman waiting with some of the family that asked me if we were "joining" them in the family. I made some reference to being in the Army and left it at that. I didn't want to let on that I intended to take Zane and leave. 

Out of now where the rest of the family showed up. The men were dressed in Khaki's and long sleeve blue shirts. The oldest one shook my hand and said that they lived on 10K acres in Mississippi and would be glad to have us along. Just then the woman showed up with Zane and I scooped him up, turned, gathered up the woman and Arran and walked off, saying that we were sorry to have wasted their time. Then I woke up. 

I remember feeling angry because what this woman had done, without asking me, was make a [ex]-like emotional decision. It made her look good, but put me in the awkward position of having to be the bad guy. I hated that and hated her for it. Zane didn't have a desire to leave us, he was just a dog reacting to other dogs. 

Obviously, this is about that text message from [stepmom]. It was a very [ex]-like thing to do and the way it was written it made me out to be someone with a giant grudge who is being cruel by not talking with their "aged" father. Like you said last night, it's [ex] intruding in our lives once again. It also occurred to me that there was a time when I'd have gone along with the decision, just to avoid confrontation, or at the very least, the unpleasantness of saying "no". But I'm older, wiser, and more confident now and I have you to thank for that. It's also why that person wasn't you in my dream. 

Love you…

My husband's former wife has a way of coming up with big plans that include other people. She doesn't include others in the planning phases of her ideas.  She just makes plans and expects everyone to go along with them.  My husband's father and stepmother have both been dragged along for the ride when the ex comes up with these plans that involve them, but they had no part in planning.  My feeling is that we should keep her at an arm's length, lest we get sucked back into the vortex.

I'm not actually sure what prompted that text months after the whole Christmas incident. Stepmom-in-law sent it in March and we just saw it yesterday. It had been a couple of months since my husband had last spoken with his dad. I'm not sure what made her think he was angry and holding a grudge. The fact is, I was angry when I removed and blocked her from Facebook, but really, my reasons for doing so had a lot more to do with preventing the ex from intruding than it was about punishment or holding grudges.

Anyway... I have bigger fish to fry now. Gotta start preparing for our move and the planning that goes into the trip we will have to take to find a place to live.


  1. Man, I wish I can remember my dreams as vividly sometimes. :o) Most of the time I wake up knowing I had dreamt but have no idea what was in the dream. It's frustrating! (but then maybe that's more of a blessing than I realize, ay?) :o)

    Hope your move planning is going well!

  2. Yeah, I know what you mean. My husband has very vivid dreams and he can often remember them. For me, if I don't talk or write about them immediately, the dream disappears.

    Move planning will be in earnest very soon.

  3. Congrats on ranting about exes, drama and the misfortune misinformation or melodrama thrusting the kids involved in between.

    Great way to set an example; air out dirty laundry anonymously to the hordes comprising the abyss that is the Internet. Classy.

    1. Fuck you, Ms. Kittie. This is my blog and I'll air whatever dirty laundry I choose. Moreover, I don't give a flying fuck whether or not you think I'm classy. How do you like that?

      Who do you think you are, anyway? Obviously, you haven't taken the time to even read this blog so you don't even know where I'm coming from. Looks to me like you're making an assumption about the kind of people my husband and I are, probably based on watching one too many Lifetime movies. And for that, you can take your self-righteous bullshit and stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

      Please don't come back here and comment again. I'm not interested.

    2. Ms. Kittie should probably impale herself on a flagpole for entertainment.

      I don't usually remember my dreams unless they're about one of the two major traumas of my life, or about when I broke my leg. My uncle, who probably knows less than either you or I (so you should take his words with a truckload of salt), says people remember their dreams only if they wake up during or immediately after them. Dreams he says, happen during the REM portion of sleep - a little stage three and mostly stage four - and in an ideal situation, a person goes on into stage five of (dreamless) sleep, the gradually drifts back into the other stages. ifnothing occurs to wake the preson in this process, the dreams (according to my genius uncle) fade into oblivion. then again, this uncle believes with all his heart that there are aleies among us, and by "aliens" I don't mean people with or without greeem cards who came here from Mexico.

      Again, Ms.Kittie, my regards to you, and my recommendation is that your next vacation perhaps be a nice sail down the Nile on the back of a crocodile. (I was just reminded of a somewhat gruesome song from my childhood.)

    3. You're funny, Alexis.

      I've actually had quite a few dreams over the years that were vivid enough to remember. There have been some that were so impressive that I remember them many years later. But I don't think I dream like my husband does. He has sleep issues anyway and actually lost sleep last night over Ms. Kittie's shitty condemnation of his character.


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